To 3some or not??

[Sexymama162915]

My husband and I have been together for 5 years. We have 3 children together, and 1 from a previous marriage. My husband goes on to these single sex sites, which is no big deal. I think the thing that gets me is that he makes dates with these women. I don't know if he goes on them or meets them. When I bring it up, I'm too up tight. He also wants to bring in another person to our bed. I used to have 3somes all the time, but relationships don't seem to work for me after a 3some. I'm not sure if I should just one day, bring home another girl for us to share or what. My husband wants to "turn me out" but I've already done that. He hasn't.

[WallyLlama]

I think you answered your own question.

There are plenty of threads on this topic and the general theme is not particularly positive... most of the encouragement comes from people who've not done it but share the fantasy.

Don't put the sex ahead of the relationship and don't separate the sex from the relationship.

Although if he's making dates on single sex sites, I wonder how much of a relationship there is...?

[Sexymama162915]

I just don't know. I feel tired with the whole thing. I think that I'm at the point where if we're going to do it, then do it. We can always see what happens next. I'm pretty open minded, but I just don't share well. I'm afraid that I'll become jealous.

[WallyLlama]

You don't share well... you're afraid you'll become jealous... 3somes haven't worked for you in the past.

Yep, all good reasons to proceed and have one. Being open-minded means considering different things. You don't prove that you are open-minded by ignoring your own truths.

Reminds me of the old joke about the fellow that fell off the Empire State Building. As he passed the 70th floor some folks heard him say, "Well... so far so good."

[dominusb]

well i dont know about you but i feel that the idea of sharing my partner or being shared doesnt appeal to me, i always feel that my partners body is a sacred thing and the idea of a threesome kind of desecrates that for me

[ua322]

I think you missed the most glaring problem in your relationship. Threesomes are not an issue to even worry about. If I were you, I would be alarmed by this excerpt from your post:

Originally Posted by Sexymama162915

My husband goes on to these single sex sites, which is no big deal. I think the thing that gets me is that he makes dates with these women. I don't know if he goes on them or meets them. When I bring it up, I'm too up tight.