confused

[hgirl]

Hi,

My boyfriend is the most amazing guy I know and I want to marry him one day. I'm 19 and he is 27. We've been dating for two years. He is the perfect gentleman.

I have only slept with him. The sex is great, he satisfies me and spends quite a lot of time with foreplay, massage, fingering, oral etc. In the weekends it is not uncommon for him to touch and kiss my naked body for 2 or 3 hours which is sooo nice.

But, he says he is quite small down there. I haven't seen any one else's penis (apart from porn / pics) and I think that perhaps he does have a small penis. I'm guessing.. maybe 3 inches when it's hard. About 1 inch when flacid.

For me, it doesn't bother me too much - actually I don't really care. The sex is amazing (even with intercourse I feel great). I reach orgasm before we even have intercourse from his touch and mouth.

The problem is, he has low confidence about his penis and he said that I would leave him if I ever had a guy with a bigger penis. I think it's rather stupid. So he asked me to have sex with one of his friends who is really quite large (like a porn star). I didn't want too. He made me flirt with his friend and I actually became very sexually attracted to his friend as his friend is quite good looking. Now I feel guilty. I haven't slept with his friend, but a part of me wants too (quite a large part of me). But I love my boyfriend so much and I'm satisfied 100% with him, I want to one day marry him and start a family. I just wish he didn't have to involve his friend as now it has got to the stage where we are emailing, chatting online etc. behind my boyfriends back. I didn't think I could be attracted to my boyfriend's friend - a large factor is the penis as I'm curious to know what it would be like, as he has emailed me pics of himself naked and it really turns me on.

Any advice?

Hgirl

[dancingdoc2]

> Any advice?

> he problem is, he has low confidence about his penis and he said that I would leave him if I ever had a guy with a bigger penis. I think it's rather stupid.

Hgirl,
Putting it bluntly, your boyfriend has some growing up to do and some major attitude adjusting to make. You could benefit from some additional maturing.

Your boyfriend needs to know and understand what is and is not important--and, to women. First of all, the erect penis need only be long enough for a woman to grasp. Women use the penis like a combination throttle and brake to her man's ardor. Second of all, it is not the size of his endowment that matters; rather, that he knows how to use what Mother Nature gave him.

> So he asked me to have sex with one of his friends who is really quite large

How absolutely juvenile is this. And, you would condone such behavior?

> He made me flirt with his friend and I actually became very sexually attracted to his friend as his friend is quite good looking. Now I feel guilty.

He made you?? Where is your backbone?

Becomming very sexually attracted to another person is more chemistry than anything. It could happen between you and a lot of other people.

> I want to one day marry him and start a family. I just wish he didn't have to involve his friend

If you continue along this same avenue, you will end up a three-some. You need to set some rules or at the very least look for someone you can trust, admire, respect, and know is only interested in you and your wellbeing. Right now it sounds like he is into sex for sex sake and if anything pleasant rolls off in the process then yea for you.

[Brandye]

If a man I was dating tried to pimp me out, he would become visible only in my rearview mirror. You do not need that immaturity, inssecurity and stupidity.

[WallyLlama]

Hmmm... if you want to cut to the chase, the fundamental problem was that he wanted you to do something you didn't want -- supposedly because of his own insecurity. As illogical as that is, it happens all the time and not just over penis size. "You'll leave me for somebody... younger... richer... older... prettier..."

The problem now is that he's getting what he "wished" for... you are going to "leave" him (maybe already have) for a guy with a bigger dick.

The good news is you and he now apparently agree. A bigger dick is what it's all about.

Just don't delude yourselves into thinking you can have this bigger dick and still maintain your original relationship. You've already proven that as well, in case you haven't noticed.

Advice? Make a choice -- and be sure you know what you are choosing and don't whine over the outcome.

[hgirl]

Hi,

An update: I love my bf dearly and have totally cut off all contact with his friend. I'm not willing to risk losing him just for this.
I enjoy sex with my bf, and even if I didn't I still wouldn't cheat on him.
He is just a bit crazy because he thinks I'll want a bigger penis eventually. Insecure is the right word.
I tried to tell him that he is perfect in every way. He thinks I'm just saying that. How can I convince him that he fully satisfies me? He' such a dick

hgirl

[Brandye]

Recognize that you will be spending years under suspicion. He will not get over this without help and your every move will, over time, become a source of suspicion.

Good luck.

[WallyLlama]

You might try telling him that he's not perfect in every way and he needs to deal with his insecurity.

Also point out that he's unfairly expecting you to carry that insecurity. The effect of his feelings are that he's constantly insulting (it's pretty shallow for him to say you'll leave him over this) and questioning you.

Constantly reassuring him enables his insecurity because you are giving him what he wants with the reassurance.