Marriage and Sex

[ron143]

Hope someone can help me here, I have been married for 3 years now and havent had Sex with her yet, she is too scared to have it, we regularly have oral Sex but for some reason she cant have full on sex. I suggested for her to see a doctor but she does not want to as she is too scared. We tried some numbing creams creams on her vagina so she doesnt feel anything while I enter but it doesnt help. she suggests that if she has it once the first time than it should be ok...She suggested to make her unconcious and have it with her so she doesnt feel a thing...but I am too scared and dont know anything safe medicine or cream that could be used to help me.......please help advice anything?

[batman527]

What is she afraid of? Pain? Something else? You might need to go to therapy to deal with whatever fear is holding her back. I woulnd't recommend making her unconscious and then trying, that's pretty wierd, and it wouldn't help her get over the fear she's experiencing.

[Brandye]

OK, you do not get to the biggie. Every time you try insertion, she clams up tight, right?

There are some discussion here of vaginismus. Look around this site and search it in google. Ignore any recommendations for buying anything but read what it is. It is an involuntary tightening of the muscles to the extent that entry is prevented. It is cureable but not with creams, lotions, pills, or other medications. It is a psychological issue. She should start with her gyn. All gyn's have dealt with this problem and can recommend good therapy.

Many celibate women have had this experience and, after a few years, just give up on having sex. That is not necessary.

After studying up a bit, get more specific.