I need help badly?????

[lou2]

Hi

I feel that my sexual relationship is at a low i have been with my fiancie for 8 years now and as i feel that he has a high sex drive i have a low sex drive and dont know why. I'm always making escuses up and i feel bad as i do want to do stuff. I'm also scared off getting pregant again as i have tried the pill and that doesnt work also condoms irreatate me and i was wondering if any women have had the injection and if that works better. I scared that if i dont sort out my sex life that we will split up. I also dont really know what to do when having sex as i end up stopping and starting and talking which really irratates my partner and as we have two kids i keep putting rules down and dont let my hair down. Help please?

[pozzolane]

I'm not to sure how helpfull this board can be. It seems to me like you would benefit from seeing a sex therapist or sex expert for your low sex drive which could be for several different reasons.

EDIT: And by "you" going to see a sex therapist. I mean you and your fiance together.

[ua322]

Originally Posted by lou2

Hi

I feel that my sexual relationship is at a low i have been with my fiancie for 8 years now and as i feel that he has a high sex drive i have a low sex drive and dont know why. I'm always making escuses up and i feel bad as i do want to do stuff. I'm also scared off getting pregant again as i have tried the pill and that doesnt work also condoms irreatate me and i was wondering if any women have had the injection and if that works better. I scared that if i dont sort out my sex life that we will split up. I also dont really know what to do when having sex as i end up stopping and starting and talking which really irratates my partner and as we have two kids i keep putting rules down and dont let my hair down. Help please?

If you've been together 8 years and have two kids, it seems like there may be something wrong in the relationship that would cause you to not actually be married yet. I would focus on examining your relationship first and see if there isn't something else that is affecting your desire.

[nursefluffykins]

I personnally don't think that the issue here is marriage versus "only" being engaged, although its ok to bring it up as a facet i guess... there are a million reasons someone might not be married yet... financial, practical, etc. My cousin and her bf have been dating for 6 years and they are not even engaged, they are saving up money for a down payment on a house first, then they will focus on engagement and marriage. Not everyone has the same beliefs about marriage.
A decrease in sexual interest can have so very many causes, which could stem from problems within the relationship or personnal issues too (fear of becoming pregnant is a big one, perhaps there are other stresses in your life)... As it was mentioned, especially without further details on the situation, this is not a very good way to get detailed professionnal help... sound like you may need some introspection upon yourself and once that is done then with your partner too. Best of luck...

[Brandye]

You do not mention why the pill did not work. The shot uses the same hormones as the pill - only delivered differently. You still have many options. The ring has been successful with many women because of the lower level of hormone and reduced side-effects. The IUD still suffers from the bad publicity twenty years ago that really invovlved one design and one brand. The IUD is available with or without hormone coating.

Perhaps you are at an age where sterilization is desireable. It is the most common form of contraception for women in their thirties, whether they have a tubal ligation or their partners have a vasectomy. You should discuss the alternatives with your doctor because there are many. In Chick Chat read "Which Birth Control for Me."

While pozzo may have a good idea in your seeing a therapist, he clearly has not read much around the board here, or would have found some helpful threads on this very topic. As I reread what pozzo's post sys, it misses the point completely and there are many times that individual therapy can go a long way bringing in partners as the therapist sees fit.

[troilistfriend]

I'll probly take some heat on this, but here it goes...

Dr. Laura has a theory and that is; give your partner a healthy sex life. Even if you don't feel motivated, your partner still needs that affection. It's like brushing your teeth, you may at times not 'want' to do it, but you always feel better afterward.....

All kidding aside though, there are many ways to make a sex life more productive, research until you find something that works.