Need suggestions to dominate

[RonOnTheRock]

My wife has asked me to be more dominant during sex. If she gives me specifics, that ruins it because I'm obeying her. She has suggested pulling her hair and pinching her nipples. I'm always amazed that she likes it. I'd love to hear some suggestions from women who like to be dominated. What else might I try? Thanks.

[bacchusella]

I am probably not the best one to ask this, because I LOVE to be dominated and in some kinky ways. I even like to be slapped a little, but not so much that it hurts.

[LittleFury]

Well, Of course, the best person to ask this would be your wife. But if she is annoyed and feels like it's just you obeying her, you could try to ask her a different question. Ask her what her limits are, and they might give you an idea of things she might enjoy or how far to push.

[RonOnTheRock]

Bacchusella, you probably ARE the best one to ask. She seems to LOVE when I come up with stuff on my own. She's told me that she loves feeling like she's stuck under my control. For example, dog-style, she loves when I grab hold of her hair and pull roughly. When I pinched her nipples, harder and harder, she finally yelled "Ouch!", but later told me that too hard is better than too soft. Could that mean she likes a little pain? She seems a bit embarrased to discuss it openly. Thanks for your input!

[bacchusella]

Ron, I agree with LittleFury. Ask her what her limits are and then only go that far. I can empathize with your wife about feeling like she is still in control. My boyfriend and I just do trial&error. If he does something too far or too much, I tell him. I realize that he is doing something I asked him to do, so I can't really get angry with him, you know? That can really only be done with someone you love though, because otherwise, they might feel that you are purposely taking it too far.

[Maribelle]

Yes, I think that's a good place to start - asking what her limits are.... If she doesn't give you a straight forward enough answer, you could get related some sex books and/or videos that you both might enjoy getting ideas from. I would check to see if videos are outside her limits first, though.

[constantlylearning]

What exactly does that constitute????

[EvilEvilKitten]

Go to www.wickedwomangroup.us and reverse the genders.

Basically she wants you to control the sex play and for you to be totally unbridled and demanding with her.

There's more, of course, but that will do for beginners.

Do NOT check out porn. Just stop. BDSM is nothing to fool around with and esp not with getting hints from fakes - you can seriously hurt people here. You should check out The Black Rose Society on how to enjoy this kind of sex responsibly. The psychological effects alone can be devastating if you aren't properly educated. As the dominant partner, you will be totally responsible for all outcomes even if the subordinant partner holds all the power.

I am the resident dominatrix btw.

[TheChad]

The way my girl likes to be dominated is more of me taking control on what we are doing. ie changing positions by moving her around; pinning her wrists above her head while I'm on top; telling her what I want her to do; when shes on top of me slightly pulling her hair back; telling her I want it faster or slower, ect

[dlb]

Hi Ron,

I know you asked for women to answer, but being a man married to a woman who wants me to be in charge of the kink I thought I might be able to help.

It's always very exciting when your partner asks for some sort of kink, but wants you to be her guide. Maybe whenyou are NOT having sex you should talk to her about some things she wants very much to try and some things that she isn't sure but might try, and things that she just definitely would nat want to do.

Hopefully you can get a better idea and it's often better to discuss improvements that might be made in the sex life at a tiem when you are not having sex.
If she doesn't want to help you out then you might as well consider that a carte blanche to do as you wish with her!!!! Of course you WILL BE RESPONSIBLE!

You know "dominate, domination and sexual dominance" are sort of loaded terms that get bandied about losely and mean different things to different people, ESPECIALLY people who consider themselves practitioners of Domination and submission. I am going to post some links here that you might find helpful. If what you read about Domination confuses you or doesn't help don't worry about it. If it does help, fine.
If you are like I am you will probably find the activities listed more interesting anyway.
Be sure to read all of the parts on technique and roleplaying scenarios since this is what I think the two of you are most interested in.

http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm_scenarios.html

the next one is a Spanish/English site so if it comes up in Spanish just click on the UK Union Flag for English

Best wishes, best of fun and lots of hot satisfying kinky sex to you!...and your wife!

http://www.ecstagony.com/eng/spanking.htm