Never had a vaginal orgasm

[SomethingElse]

I am 22 years old and have been married for 3 years. I have had 1/2 of an vaginal orgasm before, and that was when me and my husband had sex for the first time. Ever since that first time, i have never had an orgasm. But my husband does not know about it. I've been having fake orgasms for 3 years, and it seems like the only time i have an orgasm is when i either masturbate or he goes down on me. Vibrators dont even work. I have found that one position feels really good, but it is kind of hard to do because I am heavy set. I dont even enjoy sex anymore. We have done so many positions, it's unbelieveable. He's an incrediable lover, and he will even go for 3 hours at a time, but honestly, this just leads to me going numb. I want to discuss this with him, but i dont want it to ruin us. Is there anything wrong with me? I've read that alot of women dont have vaginal orgasm's, but i just fel like i cant relate to it. Does anyone have any suggestions?

[Talie]

Its true alot of women can't have vaginal orgasms i never have either . x

[Brandye]

This has been addressed several times. Look around.

25% of all women never experience orgasm; 50% of us do not reach orgasm through penile thrusting but need additional stimulation; that leaves only about 25% of us who regularly achieve orgasm through a penis rubbing in and out.

Go to Brandye's Chick Chat and read "Female Sexual Response" for starters. You may find some other helpful stuff there and on the rest of the board.

[2intimate]

I'm in the same situation. I have experienced 1/2 an orgasm before.... so I think...

[katiebug]

Of course your not wierd. Join the club. I am 21 years old and have had four sex partners. I've had a vaginal orgasm ONCE in my life - and I don't even know if it is truly considered a vaginal orgasm. It was when I was rubbing my clit with my fingers while he was on top of me, and it took me 20 minutes to orgasm that way, and to be completely honest - it definitely wasn't even close to the best orgasm I've ever had. Was more work than it was worth, IMO. I also think that the stars must have aligned just right that night or something, because I've never even been able to duplicate those results.

The only way that I've ever been able to orgasm consistently is through masturbating, and oral sex. Even oral sex takes a lot of time and takes a lot of training for me to be able to get off that way. Sometimes, with some men, I've never achieved an orgasm thru oral sex. The sad truth is that I have yet to have a single orgasm with my current BF, and we've been together for 10 months.

What do I do? I fake orgasms. I think there's a lot of controversy over whether this should be done or not, but I have always done it and have found it too wierd to stop doing it. It is expected by most men that they have to make a girl orgasm in order to pleasure her during sex. Most of the men I've been with treat it as a foriegn concept that a woman may not even be able to orgasm at all during sex, or at the very least not consistently. So, faking has been my lifelong solution thus far. I enjoy the pleasure he gets from it, to be honest, and it still feels really good to have sex with him and share that with him. It's a weight lifted off my shoulders that he can get off and enjoy himself and take pride in what he does to me. Part of what makes sex so enjoyable for me is his confidence in the bedroom. I can't imagine crushing his ego by telling him that I've been faking or that it is impossible for me to orgasm. But, I am not sure how this is going to play out long term, because I do imagine that after awhile I will get frustrated and will want to try to orgasm with him but won't know how to make that happen since he believes at this point that he knows exactly what he's doing to get me off.

Just know that by faking it (or continuing to fake it), you really aren't doing yourself any favors long term. If you really want to change things, I think you are going to have to be honest with him, or just live with the way things are and accept that sometimes you will have to finish the job yourself. There's nothing wrong with you, but being honest with your husband might make it easier for you to be able to achieve an orgasm with him, or to at least have that room to explore.

[ditzydoll]

yeaaah, i know what you mean. i have the same problem. i talk to my boyfriend about it, actually. and he tries to come up with new ways that will make it happen.. but it really just isn't working to well.. so maybe i'll take Brandye's advice and check out that forum..

[Revirginated]

between orgasms during masturbation and orgasms during sexual intercourse.
Agreed, the latter don't happen often. Obviously, a lot of women have something in common here that is not happening for them. My guess is that there is not enough of or the right kind of clitoral stimulation before penetration. I prefer to hold off as long as I can before accepting penetration. It's more pleasurable for me and more likely to effect an orgasm. Early penetration seems to interrupt the development of sensation.

Also, my personal experience is that clitoral and vaginal orgasms are not separate. Yes, I've read here and elsewhere that a lot of women think/feel they are. For me, orgasm begins in the clitoris and culminates in the vagina. I don't have one without the other.

[Jay'sBirdies]

Dear Something Else:

I am currently married 2 years and had a baby 9 mos ago. Before my husband, I spent 4 years in a serious relationship where we too went through dry spells. With my ex, I found that I needed to let go and try to relax, not think about anything but the feeling. I also found that being on top helped the most. With my husband, I think I can count on one hand the number of times we've had sex with him on top. I just don't orgasm like that. I have to be on top and be able to move him around in me at just the right angle.

I'm so sorry to hear about your misfortune. Have you talked to a professional yet? For me, it turned out there were some deeper issues than just sex with my ex. Good luck.

[Lackadaisical]

If you honestly don't want to get into a talk with your husband about it (which I can understand, most men would feel insulted if they knew they'd essentially been lied to by their wife for three years) you might want to try some thigns.
-Relax. Very important. When i can't reach an orgasm I try to forget about the objective and just enjoy the ride.
-Rub yourself at the same time as you have sex with him, I don't know if you do or not, because I forgot, sorry. If he "doesn't like" that, then tell him you enjoy it more that way, to see if it will make a difference.
-Get yourself as close to orgasm as possible before sex. I do that often, because I find it easier and bigger to get very close, and then have him penetrate just before I come, or just after, also it is easier to come more times afterward.
Anyway, I have to go to work so I guess I'm out of ideas for the time. I highly suggest being honest though, or at least saying that you are having trouble lately, and would like to try something new, or try a little harder.

[Chickalick]

Im with you on not having vaginal orgasm apart fro once and thats when he played with my clit at the same time...as for the above comment on whether he may not like you playing with yourself when he has sex with you there is no doubt in my mind that he would love it so ...we shud all take advice from above i guess