Freaking out over here!

[garbagehead]

So I've been going out with my girlfriend for 3 years now. I'm 19 and in college she is 18 and gonna graduate this year. Recently she told me she still loves me and still is madly attracted to me and that she wants to marry me and be with me later..blah blah blah.... So she broke up with me but still talks to me 4-5 times a day...says she loves me and when she comes visits me we still have sex and long story short it still seems like we are completely still in our relationship. Yet she keeps telling me when we fight about her "needing" time that she just wants time yet everything still seems fine. Sure she has a guy she's talking to that thinks they're going out but she keeps telling me how they aren't and that she's gonna get tired of him soon. But i just don't understand why she needs this. She's told me she doesn't plan on doing anything but make out with him because she isn't that attracted to him and i believe her. But I just don't understand what she means. I've tried being with other girls but it just feels like I'm cheating on her and it doesn't feel right. What am i suppose to do..What does she mean by all this....Any suggestions?

[Emmy]

She's using you as her security blanket, while having guilt-free relationships with other guys. Cut her lifeline, and see what she does. If she comes scurrying to you, then you've got something to work with. If she goes for the other guys, then at least you'll have some sort of closure.

[learning]

Couldn't have worded it better!

[dancingdoc2]

And the why of it all is that at your ages, younger and for a few years older, young people are still finding their way in life and that includes learning about people and their habits, quirks, values, characters, etc., etc. Dating, and dating lots of people is the vehicle for how we meet and learn about what humanity has to offer so that when the time comes to select two and then (the) one, we have a better foundation upon which to make choices. I encourage both of you to date lots of other people for the next few years.

The other aspect of it is as she becomes more independent, she is going to want to do more things on her own (read: without entanglements) the same as guys want to do. Both of you need this aspect of discovery in your life as it is an important part of the maturation process. I think it is fine if you want to continue to be friends and even continue dating if it works out that way, however, the exclusivity of the relationship should not be a part of the equation for the time being. Both of you need to experience more about life and the people in it before settling down into an exclusive relationship.

So, try the experiment, above, and then go from there.

[garbagehead]

Thanks for the advice yall. It'll be hard but I know what I have to do.

[dancingdoc2]

So, it will be hard.

You should adopt a different mindset, rather than the woe is me, above.

Dating lots of people can be fun and as you weed non contenders out, you will begin concentrating on those people who have some interest in you, also. Take this time to learn about as many people as you can, to experience life differently with each different person, and learn to become a more worldly individual. The world is opening up for you, go forth and prosper.

The more people you date the better your evaluating skills will become as mentioned before. The more people you date, the more fun you can have. The more people you date, the more experiences you will share.