Threesome nightmare

[confused123]

My bf and I had a threesome with my best friend a few times. I couldn't handle the images and jealousy that came with it all. We fought about it ALOT!

I was told by them both they thought they had feelings for eachother, but they talked about it and decided they just confused the feelings, and they were "friendship" feelings. I was so hurt I was left out of this conversation.

Long story short, my bf and I broke up. He kept her as a very close friend of his. He talks to her everyday.

We have talked about this subject over and over. We can't seem to stop fighting over it. I want him back, I want to work things out because I love him. He says he can't be with me because we fight too much. But if the fighting ever stopped, maybe.

I don't think it's right of him to have kept her so close to him. And now a year has passed. They have progressed into going out to movies and dinner. But he swears they are just friends. He doesnt see her in a romantic sense.

He also knows how hurt I am by this. So he hides it and lies to me when they do go out. he says he lies so he doesnt hurt me. He says they are not having sex. It's just friends. He won't give her up and work on us, because friendship is important to him. He says she has done nothing wrong for him to stop being her friend. And it doesnt matter how the friendship started. he says i need to put the past in the past.

I have gone through hell and am still there. Its been a year and I don't know what to do about it. He says all our fighting has caused his love to go away for me, but when we dont fight, he feels it sometimes.

I still have sex with him. I still hang out with him. My kids love him. I wanted a life with him. Am I the biggest fool out there?

[bacchusella]

You aren't a fool, but I wouldn't ever have a threesome with someone I was so close to, like a best friend. That was probably your biggest mistake.

And your kids may love him, but don't you owe it to yourself and to them to be with someone who you don't fight with all the time?

[Brandye]

If you believe this has gone on for a year with their not becoming romantically entangled, then the answer is simply ............

[confused123]

Not sure they havent had sex. He says they haven't. But how am I to know for sure?

[demonbuttercup]

Well you already know they had sex when you guys had a 3some... if not sex.. they did sexual stuff... whos to say they aren't now? whats stopping them?
He wouldn't have to lie and feel bad about you knowing unless they were having sex... thats how I see it.

[sdrawkcab m'i]

--my kids love him

are they his kids?

[confused123]

No, they are not his kids. He hides so much from me saying he doesnt want to hurt me. Which leads me to believe he is hiding the fact they are having sex. But I just don't know for sure, and will never know.

I think it was wrong of him to keep my old friend, and our threesome partner so close to him knowing I have deep hurt feelings about the threesome we had. And all our fights are about that and her. But he doesnt care. He says his friendship with her means a lot to him and it isnt fair of me to ask him to give it up.

Anyone else think he's right?

[ua322]

Originally Posted by confused123

My bf and I had a threesome with my best friend a few times...........I was left out of this conversation..........a year has passed.........They have progressed into going out to movies and dinner.......he hides it and lies to me.........I still have sex with him.

The above excerpts are the key phrases for me.

It sounds like this guy has got quite a racket going on. It also sounds like he is oversexed, not required to be responsible by anyone, and not interested at all in a future with you. However, he's willing to take the sex as long as you and your friend are willing to keep giving it up.

[iamawesum69420]

If he is willing to put a friendship over you, especially a friendship that he wouldn't even have if it wasn't for you, then he is'nt worth your time. It's true that you should never let someone come between you and a friend( ie if you and your best friend fall for the same guy) but I don't think that is the case here. The problem here is that he isn't making you his priority. Noone should give up all other people in their life because of a relationship but they should treat the relationship with importance. And don't feel you are making it easier on your kids to be with him. It will be harder on them to be in a house where there is always fighting. Also, the longer you give for them to get attached, the harder it will be when the relationship does end for good and there is a good chance that is what will happen here.

[Maribelle]

As difficult as it is, sometimes we all need to let go of toxic relationships/friendships ... you deserve more from yourself & for yourself -- so do your kids Try to focus on YOU & YOUR KIDS, not these 2 from the threesome nightmare As another single mom, feel free to PM me anytime.... BEST OF LUCK!