Sex life having major probs.. need advice please!

[underpressure]

Ruby,
My marriage has similar problems. Only difference is that I am the husband so I can understand his point of view.

The cumming in the mouth has been widely discussed on these boards. My own personal feelings are that my wife wouldn't be too happy if I went down on her and when I was done started spitting and gagging. Its a feeling of rejection.
We've tried a couple small solutions.
1.Using a condom, still get to cum while in her mouth, so it doesn't ruin the oral sex
2. We do it in the shower, she can easily rinse her mouth out without making a spectacle of running to the bathroom and spitting like crazy.

About the anal sex:
We've tried it a couple times and my wife isn't a big fan, shes says it doesn't do much for her. She knows I enjoy it so she is willing to keep working on it to see if it picks up.

We don't incorporate these two acts into our sex life on a daily, or even weekly basis, but it is one of my fantasies so it is something we are going to keep trying out, at least until one of us loses complete interest.


I don't agree with people assessment that if you don't want to do something then you shouldn't. A marriage is a give and take relationship, you should be at least willing to try (and work on) things your significant other enjoys.

I know I sound like a male chauvinist pig at this time but I am far from that. I am fully willing to do whatever my wife fantasizes about as well. Sometimes I don't enjoy it but we do it nonetheless.

Hope this point of view can be of some assitance. Hope everything works out great for you and your husband.

[vingo]

HI ALL
CUMMING IN MOUTH IS RWEALY GREAT FOR MAN TO SEE HIS WOMEN LIKE THAT AND HIS JIUCE IN HER MOUTH MANY WOMEN CAN'T STAND THAT TEST OF THAT TRY TO CHANGER UR MOUTH TEST B4 DO THAT WITH ANY KIND OF SWEETS TELL HIM B4 THAT IN THE DAT STOP SMOKING AND COFFE AND DRINK A LOT OF JUICE ( WITH THAT THE TAST IS SO NICE FOR YOU ) .
FOR ANAL PLAY
(KNOUK THE DOOR TO ENTER )
FOR underpressure I THINK U GO SO FAST MAKE HER SO REALX I TRYED THAT MORE THAN 1 YEAR WITH MY WIFE TO DO THAT USE A LOT OF LUB DON'T GO IN TILL SHE TELL U THAT SHE REALY NEED YOU GO IN . TRY ORAL FIRST IN THE EREA TO MAKE HER SO HORRNY .
SHE MUST FEEL THAT SHE IS NEED MORE IN THIS EREA .

[RubyRed]

Thanks again everybody for your advice!

ShadowLynn I like your advice about the male prostitute, I might just try that if he ever dares bring it up again!

Originally Posted by underpressure

I don't agree with people assessment that if you don't want to do something then you shouldn't. A marriage is a give and take relationship, you should be at least willing to try (and work on) things your significant other enjoys.

I somewhat do agree with this statement underpressure because even though I have done things I am not too keen on, its not like he has forced me to do it. I am a strong person and will say "no" if I really dont want to do something, in fact this is what has gotten us into this situation in the first place.

However I do LOVE my husband and dont want to see him unhappy with our sex life, which is why I put up my initial post because I am looking for any sort of compromise, even tips, so that I can help him to be happy with our sex life and at the same time it wont upset or bother me (at least not as much as it is now lol)

I'm not saying that I disagree or even dont appreciate the responses I have gotten, just feel maybe some people are getting the wrong impression of my husband, that he is some sort of bad guy who is treating me the wrong way just because he has different interests from me in the bedroom and is desperate for me to try them out on him. I dont feel that he is telling me he is unhappy with our sex life just to persuade me to do these things, I can tell he really means it and as a result I want things to change from the current situation so that we can both be happy.

If I was the only one who didnt enjoy swallowing then the tongue trick would not have been invented for those who didnt

Yeah so he is a little insane, but he truly is a fantastic guy and I was well aware of his sexual nature before I married him so really I should have expected these issues to come up sometime.

I dont mean to offend anybody here btw, I'm thinking its probably more my fault for not making it as clear in my initial post what advice I was actually after. I am glad to have gotten advice from all points of view so I can work out where I stand, have also learnt some new techniques to try which will make things a lot easier in the bedroom, they have helped to build up my confidence enough to actually attempt some of these sexual attentions he so badly wants to try.

It may be a step by step process but I'm sure we will get there eventually and reach that compromise that ShadowLynn referred to.

RR.

[finewine]

Some practical tips for you:
Sometimes the cum can taste down right nasty!!!
It does help if he eats foods that promote a gentler taste.
Check out the posts on that.

Do you have to swallow it? I will swallow it, but I prefer to continue the erotica by spitting it in my hands and then rubbing it on my breast and on my body like a body lotion making sure to squeeze and fondle my breast in front of him. Then I lick my fingers and let him lick my fingers and then well...
We have a great time with his cum.
Use your imagination as to how you can both find that compromise and still make your sex sizzle.

Having small children in the house and taking care of them can zap your energy for sex simply from the stress and work involved in that.
It would be a romantic gesture for him to just give you a body massage after your hard day at work.. and you can reciprocate and give him one as well without the thought of sex. If there is pressure to perform neither of you will want it.

Hope this helps.

[underpressure]

Originally Posted by RubyRed

Thanks again everybody for your advice!

ShadowLynn I like your advice about the male prostitute, I might just try that if he ever dares bring it up again!



I somewhat do agree with this statement underpressure because even though I have done things I am not too keen on, its not like he has forced me to do it. I am a strong person and will say "no" if I really dont want to do something, in fact this is what has gotten us into this situation in the first place.

However I do LOVE my husband and dont want to see him unhappy with our sex life, which is why I put up my initial post because I am looking for any sort of compromise, even tips, so that I can help him to be happy with our sex life and at the same time it wont upset or bother me (at least not as much as it is now lol)

I'm not saying that I disagree or even dont appreciate the responses I have gotten, just feel maybe some people are getting the wrong impression of my husband, that he is some sort of bad guy who is treating me the wrong way just because he has different interests from me in the bedroom and is desperate for me to try them out on him. I dont feel that he is telling me he is unhappy with our sex life just to persuade me to do these things, I can tell he really means it and as a result I want things to change from the current situation so that we can both be happy.

If I was the only one who didnt enjoy swallowing then the tongue trick would not have been invented for those who didnt

Yeah so he is a little insane, but he truly is a fantastic guy and I was well aware of his sexual nature before I married him so really I should have expected these issues to come up sometime.

I dont mean to offend anybody here btw, I'm thinking its probably more my fault for not making it as clear in my initial post what advice I was actually after. I am glad to have gotten advice from all points of view so I can work out where I stand, have also learnt some new techniques to try which will make things a lot easier in the bedroom, they have helped to build up my confidence enough to actually attempt some of these sexual attentions he so badly wants to try.

It may be a step by step process but I'm sure we will get there eventually and reach that compromise that ShadowLynn referred to.

RR.

Are you my wife?
Your marriage sounds exactly like ours

Hope it turn out top notch for both of us, thanks for sharing your story.

[WallyLlama]

Originally Posted by RubyRed

...I'm not saying that I disagree or even dont appreciate the responses I have gotten, just feel maybe some people are getting the wrong impression of my husband, that he is some sort of bad guy who is treating me the wrong way just because he has different interests from me in the bedroom and is desperate for me to try them out on him. I dont feel that he is telling me he is unhappy with our sex life just to persuade me to do these things, I can tell he really means it and as a result I want things to change from the current situation so that we can both be happy...

...Yeah so he is a little insane, but he truly is a fantastic guy and I was well aware of his sexual nature before I married him so really I should have expected these issues to come up sometime...

I dont mean to offend anybody here btw, I'm thinking its probably more my fault for not making it as clear in my initial post what advice I was actually after. I am glad to have gotten advice from all points of view so I can work out where I stand, have also learnt some new techniques to try which will make things a lot easier in the bedroom, they have helped to build up my confidence enough to actually attempt some of these sexual attentions he so badly wants to try.

It may be a step by step process but I'm sure we will get there eventually and reach that compromise that ShadowLynn referred to.

RR.

You are allowed to yell, "Bingo!" because I think you've got it. Ironically, I posted on another forum this morning that it's intriguing how posts requesting advice often turn into a trial that attempts to establish a perpetrator and a victim. The fallacy is that assigning blame never solves the problem The solution to the problem involves the realization that everyone involved shares responsibility for both the problem and the solution.

So in the truest sense of the word, you've solved "the problem" and are simply working out some details.

Hopefully, sharing it here will/has provided some stimulation and creative ideas that you can "take bacK' to the relationship and share.

I might suggest you look below some of these desires he has (together) and attempt to understand why they appeal to him... in the doing you might find other ways to satisfy his fundamental desires; ways that appeal more to you. It might also be interesting for you to explore some of your more fundamental desires... more sharing that way!

[RubyRed]

Sorry Fatone but not only do we believe that marriage is something that should be cherished between 2 people and 2 people only but we are not interested in introducing any 3rd parties into our private lives. Maybe my husband has said things in frustration that have suggested otherwise but I assure you he is a very faithful spouse and always will be regardless of our relationship problems.

Thanks by the way to the previous posters who have have given helpful advice in return. I do appreciate it.

RR.

[troilistfriend]

The good thing is that you guys are communicating. The bad news, well, if something is a comlete turn off for one of you, then why would the other still insist on it?

I would feel sad if I knew that I was making my wife uncomfortable, or even worse, feel less sexy with something I wanted. I'd much rather do without that particular thing, and have a wife that feels sexy and motivated.