BF looking at other women - to worry about?

[desaraej]

my boyfriend of a year is always looking at other girls. this makes me feel really bad because ever since we got together i have gained 60lbs and im always woundering if it bothers him enough to want something better but he never says anything to insult me or to insinuate that i need to lose wait. i just dont like him checking out all those hot girls especially since everywhere we go there are girls checking him out. am i just paranoid or is there something wrong there?

[WallyLlama]

I'll bet he's always looked... most guys do. You just didn't notice until your feelings about yourself changed... doesn't sound like his feelings about you have changed!

That is a pretty big gain in a relatively short time... and not at all healthy. I realize it's not the point of your post, but I'd suggest a trip to the doc and some discussion about what's going on there.

[desaraej]

i already know why the weight gain. i was on an anti-depressant called Zoloft and when i went on my birth control it counter-acted with it and i didnt gain the weight that i was supposed to. when i met david i stopped taking my zoloft and all the weight that was supposed to come with my shot began to appear and now i cant seem to get rid of it. thanx for the advice though.

[WallyLlama]

Thanks for the explanation, but I wasn't exactly asking the question... I was more concerned that you visit the doc to both see what affects the gain might be having on your general health (heart, BP, etc.) and getting some medical help that might help "get rid of it."

Doesn't sound like there's a lot worry about in the bf department.

[ua322]

Originally Posted by WallyLlama

Thanks for the explanation, but I wasn't exactly asking the question... I was more concerned that you visit the doc to both see what affects the gain might be having on your general health (heart, BP, etc.) and getting some medical help that might help "get rid of it."

Doesn't sound like there's a lot worry about in the bf department.

Sage advice here.

60 pounds in one year is not normal for going off Zoloft. You need to focus on that first. Take care of your health issues before you do anything else.

[GenXwife]

Originally Posted by desaraej

my boyfriend of a year is always looking at other girls. this makes me feel really bad because ever since we got together i have gained 60lbs and im always woundering if it bothers him enough to want something better but he never says anything to insult me or to insinuate that i need to lose wait. i just dont like him checking out all those hot girls especially since everywhere we go there are girls checking him out. am i just paranoid or is there something wrong there?

Men check out women- that's nature. There's nothing wrong with admitting you think a girl or guy is pretty or handsome. Just because people get married, doesn't stop them from being human.....but when it goes beyond that, that's where the trouble is. A quick look at a strange pretty girl, ok. Sleeping with a strange girl...NOT ok.

[LoveIsBeautiful]

I'm male and i know its nothing to worry about. I know men that when going out with their lovers start talking to me about other women. "i think she has a nice ass" and the such. Its nothign to worry about.

If he did want othere women do you not hink he would have left by now to be with that other woman?

From what i can sense you too are great together, so dont worry about it!
i hope this helps you.

[nursefluffykins]

i look at other girls and guys too, sometimes with my bf lol ... kinda like "loveisbeautiful" said , saying that person is hot or has a nice ass or what not lol... it all depends on context, but i do believe its part of human nature to look.. why do people put on make up and stuff... to be noticed, and not only by their own mate... but of course it should really end there.... but not accepting that your man even glance at another woman would seem to me like jealousy and that could upset him i would think...

.. and then there's the weight gain issue... i myself have gained about 20lbs in the last 1.5 year... i totally understand the insecureties that follow along with that... but hopefully your love is more than skin deep...io think it has gotten to the point where i make some sort of fat reference to myself every day and my bf is like "ok enough already". He says it doesnt bother him, well except for health reasons... but i have to admit im not sure i 100% buy what he's saying... but i do trust and love him so i take his word as he's done nothing to prove othe wise...

again, as it has been said already, seeking medical advice or a nutritionist or something, plus some exercise could help you feel a little better for both your body and your mind... over here in the arctic wasteland that is Canada, the relatively nicer weather will be starting in about a month, so i hope to get out jogging a few times per week... its a helluvan effort to make, but i think its worth it.... my bf might even come out with me sometimes (not like he needs to lose weight, but hey cardio is good for everyone and its something we can do together... and then come home all sweaty for a shower after...mm... u get the idea...

Cheers. fluff.
Best of luck,

[constantlylearning]

If the truth be known, you probably look at other men as well. Like others
have stated, looking is one thing and taking action is quite another. You
probably have men looking at you as well. So, I think it is human nature to
not only look but check out others. Men should always treat their significant other as the most important person alive and be sensitive to the things or actions that make this person feel bad or upset. So, don't worry to much about it. Just love life and be as happy as humanly possible.

[ShadowLynnParker]

Looking is harmless as long as he is with you and not touching them. Don't you look a bit?