02-24-2006, 07:45 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Looking at singles ads..
What do I do when i find out my s.o. that i live with, and been with for almost 2 years..on his computer's history...shows he was looking at yahoo personal ads? I've encountered this in the past and he said he looked outta boredom..but that was over a year ago, and he "quit" after I told him how much this truly bothered me.
he hasn't responded to any, and doesn't have one posted...just was browsing... suggestions please?? - btw- admitting that i found this is admitting i was snooping...so admitting will cause more trouble for me than anything... 
|
| Sponsored Links |
|
|
02-24-2006, 11:05 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
03-03-2006, 08:52 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
ladies
this is one i'm guilty of. I can only speak about myself, but when i did it i wasn't looking to replace my wife but the thrill of another woman wanting me got me excited. So i continued looking at the personals to she who was really interested in me. At the same time the more i looked the more i wanted the other women until it did be come a problem in my marriage. Coming from another man, keep watch on him, he is up to something.
|
|
03-04-2006, 03:31 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Sometimes we get this backwards. We look for evidence that our partner is not cheating instead of focusing on being the sort of partner that makes it out of the question.
There is nothing wrong with questions like this: Do you need anything from me? Am I making you happy? Do you feel complete with me? Is there anything I could be doing to make you happier? Obviously, you don't ask them all at once... and come off sounding like a detective. LOL A key point is that you listen to the answer and not get defensive if your partner needs something. Remember, he or she gets to ask the same questions of you! Another key point is that you have to believe the answer. The best part? You don't have to snoop in order to ask questions!
__________________
"The most fundamental form of human stupidity is forgetting what we were trying to do in the first place."
|
|
03-05-2006, 01:29 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
hmm... i have a mixed feeling about the whole personals thing... i met my bf thru one of those sites and we have been together for about a year and a half... i have found myslelf logging back into the site.. it actually started because a friend of mine wanted to show me the profile of the guy she was going on a date with... then from there when i logged in i got a couple of responses from some people (but i didn't send any out or reply !)...
... so the odd thing is if my bf did that i'd be pretty upset, so i know that i shouldnt... i think as someone mentioned, one part boredom / curiosity has lead me to log in a couple of more times... but i dont make a habit of it.. im actually decently happy with the person im with, so i guess sure it feels "good" to get contact from people who may think that you are interesting... but i also think its somewhat selfish and a little immature to log into a site to get that kind of confidence boost or whatever u want to call it. ...And i feel bad, it was my bf to begin with that suggested after about 2 months of dating that we make our profiles "invisible" (it doesnt delete them but it makes it so that others cant see it unless u log in). ... he's seen me log in to look at profiles (i have 3 friends currently using webdating), but he doesnt know that ive looked at them by myself... ... On the other hand, at least its less innapropriate (IMO) than going out to a bar or a coffee shop and talking talking or flirting in person... but ultimately I think its still innappropriate ... so I guess to sum it up im an example of someone who has looked at personal adds while having a bf, but i realize its not a good thing to do... I'm not looking to actually meet anyone nor do I contact people on the site... but what other people who have mates are doing on the site, I can't respond for... hopefully u can work things out, talk about why he's going on the site and find a way to work around it... for people who have read any of my other posts, i have mentioned before having trouble to communicate certain things with my bf (well I mean he's the one who wont talk more than me ), so I guess getting "smiles" (a free smile from a dating site when someone likes your profile) was an admittedly bad way to get some recognition, where really where i need to be working on getting some is with my bf (no pun intended). ... Besides, the quality or interests of some people on dating sites also has to be questionned, but i think with a proper "filtering" system you can meet potentially decent people... but thats a whole other topic... Cheers. Fluffy .
__________________
i like cats.
|
|
03-08-2006, 03:56 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
We met through the site. I have also been able to see how often he's logging in..and it appears to be several times a day. He works in an office with lots of time on his hands. His excuse on it before was he looked because "he was bored". He compared it to driving through a car lot. However, I do not want to be compared to a freakin' car. For him, snooping is just as low as cheating..so I can't tell him what I found..and i CERTAINLY can't tell him how I found it.
I'm so scared this is gonna be the deal breaker. We've been together 20 months, and have discussed getting married..we live together and have 2 dogs together. WHY would he need to look at singles ads?!?!
|
|
03-08-2006, 06:09 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Last edited by moose_hd; 03-08-2006 at 06:13 PM..
|
|
03-08-2006, 10:37 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
man i wish i worked somewhere where i had free time on my hands :P
well in any case, im not sure what to make of this.... its quite the sticky situation.. where i would think it would be good to mention how it makes you feel when he looks at adds, i can see how he will be upset that you went thru his computer history... i myself have looked thru adds at times, as i said in a previous post in this same thread... but have decreased my looking over time to a virtual standstill... its really hard to know what to make of the situation without hearing his side
__________________
i like cats.
|
|
03-09-2006, 05:48 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
This is indeed a "sticky situation" and one that maybe very innocent
in nature. Have you ever had cause to question hiis loyality?? I think maybe an evaluation of the entire relation is in order.
|
|
03-09-2006, 08:22 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Why so few replies?
|
 |
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
| Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
Linear Mode
|
|
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:31 AM.
