Low sex drive....

[Kim930]

I am hoping that some of you can give me some advice on my problem. My fiancee & I have been together for 4 years this coming week. We are both 25 years old & love each other very much. My problem is that for some reason, I just don't have much of a sex drive. Every now & then I get in the mood to do stuff with him, but most of the time I don't even think about it. I'm only 25 years old. What's wrong with me? I'm still very attracted to him & want to marry him. But sex just isn't on the top of my important list & that's not fair to him. What steps can I take to heighten my sex drive? Any suggestions would be welcomed! Thank you.

[Brandye]

Start with a complete physical exam including hormone tests. Increasing numbers of women are finding that very small doses of testosterone helps. Other imbalances can occur but you need testing and a competent doctor.

[ua322]

Originally Posted by Kim930

I am hoping that some of you can give me some advice on my problem. My fiancee & I have been together for 4 years this coming week. We are both 25 years old & love each other very much. My problem is that for some reason, I just don't have much of a sex drive. Every now & then I get in the mood to do stuff with him, but most of the time I don't even think about it. I'm only 25 years old. What's wrong with me? I'm still very attracted to him & want to marry him. But sex just isn't on the top of my important list & that's not fair to him. What steps can I take to heighten my sex drive? Any suggestions would be welcomed! Thank you.

Do you take medications?

[Kim930]

Originally Posted by ua322

Do you take medications?

No I don't take any medications. I used to think that my birth control pill was causing it & when I stopped taking them, it did seem to get better for a bit. Now it just seems like I barely even think about sex, unlike most people. I want to make this better because I love him very much & want to have a life with him. We just celebrated our 4 year anniversary today.

[ua322]

Originally Posted by Kim930

No I don't take any medications. I used to think that my birth control pill was causing it & when I stopped taking them, it did seem to get better for a bit. Now it just seems like I barely even think about sex, unlike most people. I want to make this better because I love him very much & want to have a life with him. We just celebrated our 4 year anniversary today.

I don't think that it is terribly unusual for a woman in a 4 year relationship to not think about sex. I wouldn't say that you are abnormal in that sense.

If you don't resist his advances every time and if you are still capable of having sex then it may not be an actual problem. It may be normal for you.

As long as you continue to realize that he needs it more frequently than you do then you can keep it from causing problems in your marriage. I applaud you for caring enough about this that you are seeking help; many women ignore it to the detriment of their relationships.

[corkscrew]

You don't sound abnormal for your age and considering the fact that you've been in a fairly long term relationship. When I was your age, I was the exact same way, knowing that if i 'gave' in to my husband, I always enjoyed the sex act itself, but it took a lot of persuading on my husband's part! But honestly now, after 3 kids and at the age of 35, my sex drive is unbelievable!

[Padawan]

I have this same problem, except I'm almost at my 3 year mark with my boyfriend. I feel the same as you do--I love him very much and I know there is nobody else I'd rather be with (even though I do admit that sometimes I wonder, and I hate that). He's always after me, but I can't get into the mood to have sex more than once a month. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.

Would a hormone imbalance be likely, or is this normal and can it be dealt with by spicing things up a bit? I admit our sex life could use improvement (besides the almost lack thereof). I enjoy it usually, but when he goes fast it hurts, and I usually can't come unless he touches my clit (although I've heard that all orgasms stem from the clitoris--not sure if that's true).

Any advice, in addition to what you all gave to Kim930?