sex with wife life sucks

[Tjdude]

Hi all. I just got married like 1 yr ago. And every thing is cool, i love my wife a lot, and we talk with each other and communicate, but even so, our sex life pretty much sucks...

Why?

First. She seems not to enjoy sex, i mean she realy try to enjoy it, but she just doesn't seem to enjoy penetration, she said to me that either she doesn't feel a thing or she feels like i'm going too deep an it hurts. We've been trying many, many positions, hours and hours of foreplay, and the only that works some very few times is a *weird and tiresome position where I'm the one not feeling a thing so after some time my erection goes down. *

Second. She does not like oral sex. Nor to receive or give. Nothing at all. I try to give her oral sex many times, and she is like if nothing is happening, and only once she gave me oral in the time we've been together.

Third. Since she does not seem to enjoy any kind of sex. We only have sex like 2 times a week (if i'm lucky), but it can go some times up to once every two weeks or once a month. An that is way to long for me. If it is up to me, we'll have sex two or 3 times a day. Well, at least once a day.

It is frustrating!!! Before we started going out i was in many relationships (never at the same time) and i had a very active sexual life. And I thought I knew how to please a woman, and I like to doit, i like to gave lots of foreplay, with candel light and stuff, and i made many of my previous sex partners scream with oral sex, and beg for more, and then have them to perform the same on me, some of them even gave me *great gift of swallowing up to the last drop of sperm. Then a great session of sex in many variations and positions, up to a great end of doggy style sex (my favorite, the one my wife hates more). Some times even anal sex. And all of this repeated at least 3 times a night. I remember some nights i made it until it hurts, until it could not get it up any more.

And then i got married and ... *

nothing ... I have even less sex then when i was single and only saw my gf a few days a week.

I'd realy love her, she is very nice and caring, and she realy turns me on (maybe that's why I want to have sex with her all the time). She has a realy hot body, but i mean realy hot, she is slim, tall, with great long legs, great butt and an even better pair of tits. She looks great in any way. Some times my friends tell me that i'm a really lucky man for having such a hot wife and i just think to myself: "If they knew ...".

Lately, I surprise myself often thinking on some one else, not any one in special, just some else, cut be any girl just passing by with a short skirt, a co-worker that is always making sex offers at me, ex-gf's, i even think of going with some prostitutes, any one!!! And then i feel guilty because i don't want to cheat on my wife. I love her, but i get depressed and she knows it.

She knows that we have a problem, we talked about it many times, i asked her often what is what she needs to get excited and horny, but she doesn't know. And i'm just getting tired of hours and hours of foreplay, sometimes i just want take her doggy style and have my way because i know that most of the time, thats what we end up doing, she just tell me to hurry up because she gets tired and whants to get some sleep. I don't want it that way, that's when I think i'll rather have some one else if it's going to be that way, and I get so sad. I know she loves me, because she is trying, she try many things with me

She gets sad also, one time she even told me that I can get some one else to have sex with, so I can be happy. And every time we have a fight she tells me that she is sure that some day i'm going to cheat on her because she knows that she doesn't satisfies me. For some reason also, we have not been able to get her to get pregnant. That just adds more to the problems we have.

So, do you guys have any idea of what can I do? I want to remain faithfull, so I plan not to be having sex with any one but my wife, but if things get worse i don't know what am I going to do. Maybe is my fault, for giving sex so much importance, is just that for me is that way, sex is one of the best ways to show some one that you love him/her, not the only just one of many, but a very good one.


Well, C ya *

[dancingdoc2]

Letting your imagination run wild is neither unusual or necessarily a bad thing, as long as you do not act upon a fantasy that is obviously a bad thing to do.

You will find lots of how to information on this forum and elsewhere, however, from your recount it seems that your wife requires why not information and for that I would recommend that she find a counselor in your area that specializes in problems associated with sex and romance. This is a specialty and not every therapist is qualified.

I believe she may have "issues" that need she may or may not be aware of that need to be dealt with. At the very least, she may need to hear from a third party that this or that is OK to do and that having sex a couple of times a week or once every day or two is OK. I don't know, she doesn't know, so I recommend she go talk to a professional and see what she can learn or perhaps discover about herself.

[Luvs2plzU]

Uhhhhhhhh was her attitude about sex like this before you got married? While you were dating and figuring out each other did you have the same issues??...for sure as a couple you will have to seek some guidance from a doctor and a therapist...Good Luck...

[Elco]

She's not aroused enough. It's that simple. I would get her a vibrator and get her to pleasure herself with it while you lie next to her kissing her lips, neck and nipples. Rub a little massage oil on her tits and tummy. Get her to close her eyes while you tell her how hot she is and how hard you are and how much you want her. If she's shy turn off all the lights or just have a candle buring in the corner of the room while you do all this. If she's horny enough she won't be complaining about the technical aspects of the sex and she may very well get to the point where oral sex (giving and recieving) is something she really enjoys. Take your time, she'll cum around..lol.

[gorgeous_mistake]

Another situation where sex can make or break a marriage. Once again just thought these threads should be read.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by gorgeous_mistake

Another situation where sex can make or break a marriage. Once again just thought these threads should be read.

Too funny...you pulled all those posts! Now, people need to read them!!!!

[EvilEvilKitten]

She looks hot but isn't. Was she a virgin before marriage? Was she abused? Does she masturbate to orgasm? Does she take meds that could have an impact upon her libido or sexual responses? Yes, she has "issues" that much is clear. Couseling may help - but if she's willing to let you out to play outside of the marriage rather than 'face up' to the problem within the marriage - those "issues" may never go away.

Did you enjoy a happy, healthy sexual relationship with her before you married her?

[gorgeous_mistake]

Originally Posted by sera300

Too funny...you pulled all those posts! Now, people need to read them!!!!

Heck yes they do!! I'm merely trying to make a point, I hope people don't think these are new threads. Thought it might be helpful!! Perfect examples, don't you think?

[sera300]

Originally Posted by gorgeous_mistake

Heck yes they do!! I'm merely trying to make a point, I hope people don't think these are new threads. Thought it might be helpful!! Perfect examples, don't you think?

They are excellent given the questions which are coming up lately! These scenarios are the epitome of being sexually compatible. Especially in a marriage; it's a bond which may keep you together or can drive you apart. Why? I recall being damned mad at my then husband--getting into bed, communication was open since your defenses are down, and you tend to be more empathetic. Get turned down time after time? You become cold, distant, and indifferent that eventually rolls into all aspects of a marriage.

[gorgeous_mistake]

Once again Sera, you amaze me with your life lessons!! I really do hope people read these, especially those against pre-marital sex. I respect their views to the fullest, but is it more important to keep good face with your church, or to have an everlasting, loving, compatible relationship, which would last the rest of your life, and would fulfill you in almost ever way possible?