Define Pre-menstral

[j56h]

As a guy who is recently married, I'm beginning to learn a bit more about the monthly cycle of a woman's body.

I was hoping maybe some of you ladies out there could shed some light on this for me. Not so much the scientific explanations. I'm more interested in finding out what sort of mental state women are in at different times of the month.

What does she mean when she says something like "sorry, I was pre-menstral when I said that"? Does the mental state actually make women more irritable or less patient during PMS?

What are the mental states during other times of the cycle?
I have noticed that certain times of the month she is much hornier than others. Other times she seems to be completely off-limits sex wise.

I'm just curious as to what to expect at certain times of the month and would like to be prepared with a little bit of understanding of the womens' phsycholgical state. It might help to avoid some unnecessary friction in our marriage.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

[Luvs2plzU]

here's from a guy that was married for 23yrs...
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish". The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to."

The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me".

The man thought for a long time and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy?"

After a few minutes God said, "How many lanes do you want on that bridge?"

I'm sure you will get a MORE MATURE response soon!!...but i just had to share this with you...and remember..its a JOKE!!!...I'm joking!!

[Brandye]

OK, put menstrual cycle into a search engine and look at all your hits. Pay particular attention to the charts showing hormone changes. Keep in mind that every woman reacts a bit differently from every other one. Let us use the first day of the menstrual flow as day 1; assume a five day flow and a 28 day cycle.

There is a continual change of hormone mixes in a woman's body. While there are a handful of hormones involved, two, estrogen and progestin, are the two that really matter. The balance between these two determines the cycle. During the flow, the mix is such that there tends to be less energy and sex drive; that is ok with nature because that is the time she is least likely to become pregnant and that is all nature cares about. At the end of the flow the changes of hormones begins until it has revered itself at day 14. This is the mechanism to release an egg and also to give her a rosier outlook on life. Women tend to be most happy cheerful and have their highest sex drive at this point. Again, nature is happy because pregnancy is now possible. If the egg is not fertilized in a day or two, it dies and passes on through the cervix and onto her knickers.

Nature is now irritated because all the preparation to hold a fertilized egg in the uterus has gone to waste and the thickened uterine walls need to be redone for next month. So, the hormone mix begins to change again. A few days before the flow could be expected, this mix of estrogen and progestin is causing the body to retain fluid and changes the body chemistry. This time before the period is when behaviour becomes completely out of whack with any man's understanding. We feel bloated, ugly, hate the world and do not know what we want. Once, the flow begins, we start to pee often and the bloating begins to go down. But then we have five days to deal with the menstrual flow and not wearing white slacks. Most women's attitudes begin to improve with the menstrual flow and urine flow. But we are continually thinking about controlling the mess.

OK, that is a rapid overview. The more regular and the more mature, the less the swings of emotion. That is why teenaged girls are so miserable to be around. It takes years after the onset of menses for the body to rebalance and emotions to smooth out. And this is the reason some women are put on the pill irrespective of sexual activity. The primary treatment for difficult periods or wild emotional swings is the pill.

There are great exceptions to all this. I have a very short but VERY heavy flow. Some women have lighter flows spread out over a week. For about three days before my flow begins, I have no interest in sex; at the onset of the flow (ok, several hours later) I develop a keen interest in sex. May be messy but that is what towels are for. Other women will not consider sex during their periods. That may be physical or it may be aesthetic or it may be that they do not want a man witnessing their menstruation.

A little research and other women's input may help but you married her, now live with it!!! *LOL


OH! I forgot: PMS equals Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. That is what she refers to as being pre-menstrual. Usually lasts a few days and ends with the period. This PMS time is, for some women, an absolute wipeout. Others barely notice and when there is a red spot in their knickers, they deal with that for a few days. No biggie.

[starrystarrygirl]

i read somewhere that when on their cycle, it makes some women hornier.

as for your question, and as brandye said, it's different in all women, but when it comes to me, i can go from being emotional and "needy" (needing physical contact, hugs, kisses, etc) to being hateful/mean/impatient, pretty much anti everything (most of the time in a joking manner) to being silent or being "get the f*** away from me!!" lol, and i've never noticed any signs or anything on which state of mind i'm going to be in, so you just gotta wait and see.

good luck!

[j56h]

Thanks for the replies so far.

Luvs2plzU: I got a good laugh out of that! And, if God is at all like mortal men, I can definately see him building that bridge just to avoid the other subject.

Brandye: Thanks for giving such a thought out reply. I'm not expecting to figure out all the answers and I don't have a lot to complain about. My wife's cycle doesn't seem to be nearly as disruptive as many womens' are. Once in a while she'll get a little "b i t c h y" and I usually will write it off as PMS related ........(especially when she's made the comment herself a few times).

starrystarrygirl: Luckily she doesn't shift gears as quickly as you apparently do. I do notice that she wants more tenderness (without sexual contact) as her cycle approaches. Then the extra horniness comes about right after the cycle.

Ladies, as far as the mental state....when the PMS causes irritable or as you've said "hateful, don't know what you want, impatient, etc.." behavior, do you realize later on that you may have been being unreasonable? In other words, should I worry about a disagreement that we might have had at that time? Or, should I just figure that at that moment it was a bigger issue due to the hormones and maybe in normal circumstances it would not have caused as much friction? I sometimes wonder if later on I should try to resolve something that came up during PMS, then I think--maybe I should just let it lay. What do you think is the better approach? (obviously if it is a pressing issue I wouldn't let it lay, but the minor stuff..ya know?)

[starrystarrygirl]

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Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (j56h @ Jan. 12 2006,22:04)]Luckily she doesn't shift gears as quickly as you apparently do. I do notice that she wants more tenderness (without sexual contact) as her cycle approaches. Then the extra horniness comes about right after the cycle.

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lol i don't get all those in one week! that would seriously suck lol, i get usually one, maybe two different moods a month. mostly in the order that i said them (wasn't intentional [1st being most common, etc..]) and the tenderness and such sounds about right in relation to the cycle.

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Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]Ladies, as far as the mental state....when the PMS causes irritable or as you've said &quot;hateful, don't know what you want, impatient, etc..&quot; behavior, do you realize later on that you may have been being unreasonable?

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i usually notice it when it's happening, like if i'm being mean (which is mostly as a joke) i let them know i'm just joking. but if i said something that really hurt or was mean, i'd realize it shortly after i said it or before the day was up.


i'm not sure about the argument question. i guess if it was something serious and you didn't like the answer to try again lol. serious though, it's like a different state of mind, things and emotions just get augmented. but if it's something that doesn't matter anymore, like what you two should have done that day, just brush it off.

[neverdiplomatic]

I get it all. Raging psychosis, I swear. I have those lovely days circled in black on the calendar so all who know this system know to stay very far away lol.
I've noticed both my pre and menstrual symptoms have gotten worse since I had children.
And I am one of the ones who do in fact get crazy horny during my period. When you've been with someone for four years who finds menstrual sex disgusting it really, really is a negative side effect.

[LyingAwake]

I am the complete opposite. I feel no different at that time, than I do at any other time of the month.

[Brandye]

I think you are getting the full and honest spectrum here. For three days before my flow, I become short and brusque and as soon as I realize it (the nurse tells me!) I apologize and keep it under control. Most women do realize, after the fact, what has happened.

[apost3]

Ok.. here's my 2 cents...

Some woman (maybe myth..i don't know) become very horny (naturally) around ovulation. This usually occurs 2 weeks after the first day of their period... some become very horny right before their period..some during..some right after..

Truth is, not every woman's sex drive is the same. For myself, I dont' wanna be touched during "the time of the month". I have horrible periods, and I'm all for snuggling..but that's it! LOL.

The last day or two of my period though.. I become MAJORLY horny... I think it's the "light at the end of the tunnel" so to speak. Mine always last about a week or longer, so it's a long dry spell for me.. I'm ready to get it on! LOL.

Throughout the month, women have different hormone levels as our body's cycle. Some women will have increased desires at certain points, and decrease at others. I would say the best thing to do is just learn with time... or even talk to her about it. We're all adults and talking about sex usually isn't as bad as we think it will be. The hardest part is just starting that conversation.