Need a guys advice..

[monkeybear]

My bf is in Korea studying abroad for school. He told me at the beginning of the year that he just found out that he had to stay longer bc he needed to take a 2nd korean language class to graduate and that instead of coming back in dec he would be back in feb. I was totally cool with it, but last week i was visiting his mom and she "accidently" told me he had to take korean 1 again. I asked him about it and he totally froze.

I'm so mad bc he knew for awhile that he was going to have to stay longer than feb. I asked him if he was planning on staying longer after he was done with korean 2, which he said he would now finish in May. He hesitated for the longest time. He would not give me a straight answer. I told him that if his intentions were to stay longer after he was done with school that he needed to be honest with. Still no clear answer.

Is it just me or shouldn't he come back if he really loves and cares for me? Is he being flaky and just trying to keep me in this relationship as long as he can? I really love him and I'm willing to sacriface a lot for him, but now I doubt his love bc of the way he is acting. Does anyone think that he should come back if he has no other reason to stay besides school?

Please I really need someones opinion.

[Trivium]

uhh.. your bf is in korea, taking korean. He was supposed to come back in december, but, he has to take another korean class to graduate, so he is coming back in feburary.

i dont understand why you are so worried about this.. all he is doing is taking another class to graduate..

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ] told him that if his intentions were to stay longer after he was done with school that he needed to be honest with. Still no clear answer.

didnt he tell you that he had to take another class, and so did his mother. whats wrong with that?

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]Is it just me or shouldn't he come back if he really loves and cares for me? Is he being flaky and just trying to keep me in this relationship as long as he can? I really love him and I'm willing to sacriface a lot for him, but now I doubt his love bc of the way he is acting. Does anyone think that he should come back if he has no other reason to stay besides school?

well, you said that if he loves you he should leave Korea? didnt he go to Korea to take the Korean classes? why would he leave and not have taken the classes? You also said you were willing to make sacrifices for him, and that you were totally cool with him staying till feburary. So, if your cool with it, why are you posting this?

[monkeybear]

I guess I wasn't very clear with what I said.

He isn't coming back in feb. he is now coming back in May. I'm pissed bc he wasn't going to tell me until the last minute. I don't mind if he stays for school, but I fear that when May comes around he will give me some bullshit reason to stay longer for other reasons besides school. I asked him if he planned on doing that and he wouldn't give me a straight answer.

That's why i'm concerned about his commitment to the relationship. I am not at all pissed that he has to stay in Korea for school. I'm also angry that he knew a month before I found out that he had to stay longer than feb and didn't tell me. My concern is his intentions of dragging out his stay in Korea for longer than necessary (for non-school related reasons) as I sit here twittling my thumbs being the "good" little girlfriend. See, at first he was coming back in dec, then he told me feb. which i was cool with, and now I find out through his mother that he is staying even longer.

I want to know if this dishonesty (his reluctance to tell me whether he plans on staying AFTER he is done with school) is a sign of his lack of commitment to this relationship. I should also mention that his round trip ticket (which he bought in July) was scheduled for him to come back in feb., which leads me to believe that he knew awhile before he had told me that he was going to at least stay until feb. instead of Dec. Am I being too suspicious or is this his way of passively breaking up with me?

To make matters worse we haven't talked since we had this conversation (a week ago). I can't contact him, he can only call me and he hasn't been online. I bought my ticket to Korea to see him and now I don't know what the fate of our relationship is. I can't return the ticket, so it's a grand down the toilet or I go to Korea alone and scared. What do I do? Am I just a huge sucker or what?

I am so lost, confused, and depressed.....

[WallyLlama]

Gotcha, I think... a couple of thoughts.

It may not be dishonesty as such (could be uncertainty, etc) but there is a growing communication problem, yes? It's possible you are unintentionally contributing to it... if he feels you are attacking his decisions or questioning his commitment he may not know how to respond.

In otherwords, yes, you may be too suspicious... but he's the only one who knows the answer.

It might be premature to reduce your relationship to bartering.

A trip to Korea is not such a bad thing and it might be a good way to resolve some relationship issues... unless, of course, you can do some of that before then. Your suspicions may be right, but I'd also suggest a little more of an investment before you throw everything down the toilet with the ticket.

Is it possible his mother got it wrong?