marriage

[c+m14335]

ok so i am 16 and im gonna marry my bf by the time i am a lil over 18 but my friends are freaking out saying i am too young and i dont need to be htinking about marriage, but i dont see anything wrong with getting married young, i mean if ur in love with someone so much that u know u cant live without them why wait till ur 30 to marry them??


(and for my bf who is probably gonna read this, im not doubting im just wondering what other ppl think, if its just my friends or if its everybody)

do u think 18 is too young??

[WallyLlama]

Well, the romantic perspective would be that love is ageless and it would be supported with tales of folks who got married as young teen-agers and spent the rest of their lives together.

I'm capable of being a romantic, apparently... at least I'm told that I've been quite mushy since falling in love with Loripop. But practically speaking, 16 is a bit young to decide how and who you will spend the rest of your life with. It is wise, at least, to wait until you're 18. There's a lot to be said for waiting a little beyond that.

There are lots of reasons for this, including the fact that you should have some life experience to bring to the marriage. Love is of course the basis for it, but being and staying a couple requires some skill too and those skills are usually developed over time. In other words, it's not always a case of NOT getting married; it's more a case of preparing to get married and understanding that it could take some time.

To marry someone without the skill and maturity required to love him or her well - and to be able to accept his or her love in return - is wrong. It just happens that many of those skills and maturity develop a bit later in life than teens, particularly in today's world. That's a generality, but a pretty safe one.

[oberon]

LOL. *Well, I'll be totally UNromantic for a moment. *

Living with another person can be difficult- even when you love that person. You aren't always going to agree and you really have to work on communication.

Now, add to that, LIFE is hard. *There are bills to pay, sickness, death, accidents and natural disasters... If you don't have the skills or means to deal with them, then they can tear a relationship apart. * Then, add kids to the mix and you've got even more potential for difficulty.

What I'm trying to say is that age ISN'T important. *Maturity and responsibility are. *If you can look at that list of problems and say, "We can deal with that if it happens.", then you have a chance at a good marriage. *Love may conquer all... but neither the phone company nor the grocery store will accept it as payment.

[Tessie]

First off that green color is the hardest color to read on this board. Or I'm old and my eyes have gone to hell.

Your 16 now and in love with your boyfriend. That is lovely and I hope it last for 60 years. Just prepare yourself that you will change and grow over the years. At almost 40, I'm much different then the 18 year old girl I once was. I got married the first time at 19 and that lasted a year and half. Second marriage lasted 17 years and now I'm on to what I really believe is my last relationship. But, one can't know that for sure. Not that it's going to stop me from giving it my all. I like to believe in happily ever after even when that doesn't happen.

I say please wait until your 18 at least. Think with your head and not just with your heart. Discuss everything and be realistic. Like Oberon said, bills, sickness, kids all alter your relationship greatly. What you think you love about him today you might just hate 5 years down the road. How do you plan to deal with that?

Good luck and for goodness sake enjoy being a teenager before you want to take on the life of a grown-up.

[Acid_Burn]

well it sounds like you love your bf very much and if your waiting until your 18 than that means your prob finishing high school. so its not like your going to ruin your chances at an education. Am not seeing a problem yes maybe 18 is a little young butbut as some other people have posted love doesent have an age. as some people have also posted about bills and what not, "money is the root of all evil" but you should let it ruin your marriage. so i say yes i think you should go and get married

[LittleFury]

As I'm getting older, I'm becoming more practical than romantic. So here is my 2 cents
Thinking and deciding to marry at 16 is romantic, yet silly.
You are not ready to be married at 18. At 16 you are still not an adult, you are still somewhat of a kid that does not know real life. Even in the next 2 years you are going to change a lot. What about then you go to college or uni. You will change so much that you will be surprised. What happens then that takes place while you are married. A lot of times it can be a disaster.
Second. So you'll be 18. How are you going to support yourself? With mommy or daddy's help? Or working an entry level job while trying, hopefully, to get an university degree? What happens if you have a baby? How are you going to support that baby? At 18 you just don't have the maturity or the experience to be able to deal with those things well. I'm talking from my own experience.
Look, there is nothing wrong wiht waiting. You can have a long engagement. My guy and I are. We are waiting about another 5 years before we get married. Why? Becuase both of us want to finish our education. And not the basic education. We both have degree's alread. I got BA degree, and he's got an AS degree. But we have decided that those weren't good enough, and we could do better, for the family's sake. So he's back to school to get BS at age of 32 and I'm in law school at 22. We are together, and that all that matters.
You need to wait, and you need to get an education so that you can support yourself if anything happens. And if you 2 can't last through a long engagement, then it wasn't meant to be.
Yes this sounds unromantic, but maybe if people thougth more with there heads and didn't rush into marriage, there would be far less bussiness for family law attorneys.

[c+m14335]

just for clarification, im 16 now and im planning on getting married in 2 years which means i will be 18

[thetease13]

I don't think age has anything to do with it.
If you're ready to take on all the responsibilites of life AND marriage AND all the difficulties it may bring AND you are mature enough to handle it all, then why not.
Everyone is ready at different times. My parents got married when they were 23 and will be together 34 years in October. I'm 24 and can't say I'm ready to be married (although the fact that I don't have someone poses a problem. lol.). She knew people that got married right out of high school, and they're still married.
I know someone that got married right out of high school, and they're still married. My brother knows some and they're still married.
I know a couple that were high school sweethearts. She graduated, he moved, they survived a long distance relationship and they met back up in college and right out of college they got married and now have a child.
We do however all know people that got married right out of school and got divorced soon after.

So really, again, it all just depends on you. Everyone is different.
If you are ready for everything and are mature enough for it, then your age shouldn't really be a factor.

[Acid_Burn]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (thetease13 @ Sep. 17 2005,13:50)]I don't think age has anything to do with it.
If you're ready to take on all the responsibilites of life AND marriage AND all the difficulties it may bring AND you are mature enough to handle it all, then why not.
Everyone is ready at different times. *My parents got married when they were 23 and will be together 34 years in October. *I'm 24 and can't say I'm ready to be married (although the fact that I don't have someone poses a problem. *lol.). *She knew people that got married right out of high school, and they're still married.
I know someone that got married right out of high school, and they're still married. *My brother knows some and they're still married.
I know a couple that were high school sweethearts. *She graduated, he moved, they survived a long distance relationship and they met back up in college and right out of college they got married and now have a child.
We do however all know people that got married right out of school and got divorced soon after.

So really, again, it all just depends on you. *Everyone is different.
If you are ready for everything and are mature enough for it, then your age shouldn't really be a factor.

very nicely put...

[thetease13]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Acid_Burn @ Sep. 17 2005,19:49)]very nicely put...

Thank you.