Is it a lost cause?

[sweetiez]

Well first of all i live with my boyfriend. well we are on a break. and we both love each other alot. And we been together 6 months. and we planned someday to get married and all.. and just everything.. everything felt so ment to be untill latly all he been doing is calling me names or do anything to hurt me..advoiding me..ect.. and we broke up.. and he WAS playing mind games.. but he tells me now that he is very hurt by our break up and wants to work on our relationship and he will go back to how he use 2 be. But i told hem he would have to show me that before i did anything.. do u think it wwould be worth us seeing like a consler about out relationship? or do u think it is not worth seeing like a therapist for just ppl that are datting? ect leave notes please!
OUR RELATIONSHIP IS ON THE LINE.

[lilly2279]

Talk to him.

Find out why he is calling you names, avoiding you, etc. I know this is a shot in the dark, but it sounds like he has done something he is ashamed of and is being mean to you in a kind of in an indirect anger at himself. If he was fine before and then just turned mean towards you it does raise suspicion.

Ask him why he changed. Why he feels the need to "go back to how he used to be" and why he stopped being the person you fell in love with. maybe he just freaked because things were going so well. Some people unknowingly like to sabotage their relationships when things go to well. There is a reason for the personality change. get to the bottom of it by talking to HIM first.

Sure even dating relationships are worth salvaging. A piece of paper saying you're married is not the only relationship worth working on. If you think it's worth it, see someone. But first try to talk to him yourself.

[WallyLlama]

I have always been a huge believer in forward focus. This could just be a simple matter of getting on each other's nerves, really.

My suggestion is that you sit down and define your relationship to the extent of where you both want to be at this time. The fact that you are living together actually makes this a requirement, even if you are going to be simple room-mates.

Personally, I've never understood the "taking a break" logic. How do you "take a break" from some you love and want to be with?

You can be as detailed and specific as you want to be... as a couple you get to make the rules! If you have trouble defining the relationship, how you are going to treat each other, etc. there certainly could be a case made for seeing a counselor. But I'd get some basics down first. If you both want totally different things, I'm not sure a counselor will help much!

If your relationship is on the line it's because you both put it there. Figure out why you did that!

[sweetiez]

Thank you all abunch for the comments. We may see one.not sure. we are working on it...slowly.. <3muchlove. Have a good 4th( If u live in USA). =)

[limfe1]

I agree with Lilly. I have worked with troubled youth that deliberately sabotage any relationship that they begin to feel comfortable with. It's there way of "hurting before they get hurt". Talk to him and ask him if there's something that he thinks has changed between you and he's afraid of it. Maybe just a little reassurance that you're still there for him will make a big difference.