Love triangle

[MOGAMBO]

I am divorcee now but I have extramarital relationship with my ex wife with the consent of her current husband who brainwashed my ex wife to accept swinging life style after she married to this man. I suffered a stroke and there was a severe damage to my brain and i was in coma for few years. Doctors had no hope for recovery. So after a lapse of about one year of my vegetative state, my wife obtained divorce and married to this man. Unexpectedly i recovered to semi conscious state. So *she kept me in her home as per doctors advice. Eventually I recovered my full consciousness. Initially I was shocked to find that my wife married to another man. Gradually my ex wife's husband proposed threesome as an immediate solution to this complex relationship triangle to which i could not resist.Hence he organises frequent threesome with my ex wife as MFM combination. My ex wife's husband takes her regularly to the swinging clubs and my ex wife is now addicted to the gang bang which is encouraged by her husband. Both are happy with GB and no one thinks it as a weird thing or unusual. I have difficulty in coping with GB stuff. * Now my wife wants a divorce from her current husband and wants to marry me again. I raised swinging life style issue in our discussion to which she replied that . she would quit gang bang stuff but she wants to keep sexual relationship with her current husband as she said that she loves him as much as she loves me. We both love each other but now i have reservation about marrying her again as i don't think she would really recover from this gang bang addiction without painful process. Secondly, i really don't understand whether woman could really love two men equally at the same time?

[WallyLlama]

I suspect most people (including me) are doubting this post is for real... particularly in view of the fact it's strangely reminiscent of another post a while back about a wife and gang-banging.

On the outside chance it is for real... and with the observation that the last question is a "good" one... I'll post my opinion.

It's difficult to understand how a woman can love two men equally because it isn't possible. She might love two men differently... might love different things about them...

Here's a follow up question. If she loves you both the same, why not stay married to him and just keep the 3some going? If she loves you him equally, doesn't make much difference who she's married to, does it?

[Tessie]

Oh please, I don't believe this for a minute. What man comes out of a coma and agrees to be part of a threesome with his now ex-wife and her husband? That is a little to bizzare.

[finewine]

It sounds like a tv show plot.
But it was a good question:
"Is it possible for a woman to love two men equally at the same time?"

[mmparks]

I agree.. to weird. But I guess stranger thinsg have happened. I just cant think of any. LOL!

As for loving two men at once.. nope. I couldnt. I can only handle one man at a time as it is.. the thought of having strong feelings for two at the same time is impossible for me. Maybe it depends on the person.. I guess its possible for someone else.

[Rawbob]

Unless MOGAMBO can attach some new paper clippings proving his story, i don't think this is a real situation at all!

That said, its my opinion that a triad relationship can work under very clear circumstances.

1) There IS a primary couple - no matter how much they all scream it's equal, trust me, there is ALWAYS a primary couple.

2) A triad is more of a communal relationship, and therefor the rules are differnt - tho those rules are tough to adhere to because they fly in the face of what society says should be a relationship (man and woman).

3) Most triads are made up of co-dependant folks. A triad works great because there is enough emotional support to go around.

4) Most triads break up. Why? because the "3rd" usually gets tired of his/her position in the triad and either breaks up the primary couple, leaves the triad, or the primary couple kicks the 3rd out.

Yes...i've had some experience at this!

[MOGAMBO]

Thanks for all replies.
I agree with the observations made by Rawbob about the triad. As pointed out, I am unhappy in the triad and want to quit it. When i declared my intention to honour their marriage and find other woman to marry then my ex wife took stand that she will marry me again. From this action it is evident to me that she does not want me to marry. Well i could have broken this triad as per my wish but somehow not able to do this. My ex-wife and for that matter her husband has done lot of sacrifices which is difficult for me to ignore. Such decisions are easy to take during conflict or during stress but not when you feel obliged. Basically i am sandwitched between logic and emotions.

[WallyLlama]

With this new information... it sounds like your ex wants to marry you as a way of keeping the triad together. That also explains why she insists she be allowed to continue a sexual relationship with her (now) husband.

Add that up and it sounds like you are being used, doesn't it? Doesn't that feel good? You hit the nail on the head, even if you don't realize it. She does NOT want to marry you. She doesn't want you marrying someone else.

If she and her current husband have been good to you, there is nothing wrong with being gracious and courteous. But people "make sacrifices" and usually do get something in return so there's no reason to feel this has been a case of them losing and you winning. You do not "owe" them anything.

I always recommend going with logic. Emotions have a wonderful way of following the logic if you let them.

The irony is most of your emotion already is logical. You want out of a triad in which you are the used. Don't let some false sense of obligaton keep you in a situation that you don't want to be in and isn't logical anyway.

[MOGAMBO]

WallyLIama
Your intelligent answer convinced me why you are award winner. Things are getting clearer to me now. I got the answer to my question. She does not love two persons equally. It is her ploy to continue with triad situation untill she and her husband fullfill their fantacy. But this did not occur to me earlier because she still go to swinger club for GB activity. From what i observe it appears to me that she enjoys swinger club more than our triad situation though her husband enjoys threesome. Then why she wants to keep this triad together? May be to make her husband happy? When she is enjoying her life the way she wants then why she does not want me to marry to other woman? Is she possessive about me? Secondly, my intuition is that even if i marry her, she will continue to do what she is doing now as a wanton wife & most possibly without my knowledge. There is a reason to believe this. When she said that she will not visit swingers club after her remarriage, what prevented her to stop swinging activity now to prove that she has genuine intention of quitting it? Why she is waiting untill re-marriage to give up her alternative sex life ? Could she be possibly thinking that getting blanket sanction for sexual favour to her current husband after remarriage will help her to continue her sex romp outside triad with the help of her current husband?

[finewine]

I would tell you to use your logic and not remarry your ex-wife.

I would tell you to use your emotions towards finding that new woman to marry and let your wife deal with her own emotions.

You are not responsible to be obliged to her. She broke that obligation at divorce.