Girlfriend too Clingy and being wierd

[Ragnarok]

I'm 17 (18 in less then a month) and my gf's 18. We've been together for 2 years and and I feel my girlfriend is clingy to a point where its very annoying.

(I'm going to summerize things in point form)(This all happened within the past 3 months)

-She says she wants to spend all her time with me

-if I'm on the phone with her, she might hold me on the line way past when I'm supposed to sleep (like 12:30am on a school night) (....i need more then 6 hours of sleep)

-I won a hockey tournament and that qualifies us to have an international tournament, I got home all happy, told her we get to go to Niagra Falls for a 4 day tournament. She immediately just got upset because I'll be leaving for 4 days.

-We got eliminated from the playoffs and immediately she told me she was happy cause she was going to spend more time with me

-Told her I was going on a 2 day trip to Tornoto to see a movie set, AGAIN she got upset because I was going to be away

-She told me she can't wait till I move out so she can move in

-Recently she went on a trip and I was actually HAPPY she was gone for a week...

-Maybe last week she asked me if I thought about MARRYING HER (I'm 17, that's like a I wanna shoot myself so I can get out of here)


AHH, I don't know if I can take this stuff, Any input would be great, Any!!

[iamawesum69420]

Well you need to talk to her and explain how you're feeling. She's never going to know there's anything wrong with her behavior unless you tell her that it's bothering you. Just letting it go on is only to make things worse.

[WallyLlama]

I don't have a red flag here that's any where near close enough!

You can try talking to her, but I don't think you're going to accomplish much.

I'd suggest you FORCE yourself to answer this question: What in the heck makes you think this girl has one ounce of love in her heart for you?!!

You need to run, fast and far. From your own description, she is beyond clingy. I doubt very much that you will talk her into altering her behavior very much.

Have a long conversation with yourself and figure out what you are getting out of this relationship. Do NOT confuse being "needed" with being "loved."

This girl is sucking you dry; I think you are beginning to realize it. Unless these behaviors are all recent developments in which case you might want to explore what has recently changed in your relationship or her life.

I'll bet it's always been like this to some degree, but you're starting to notice it and adding it up.

[oberon]

I think I'm going to have to go with..."if you aren't heading for, at least be looking for, the nearest exit." *

This relationship sounds very vampiric to me. *Couples should compliment and support one another. *It doesn't sound like she has ANY of your interests at heart.

As has been said, you can try talking to her, but I'm almost willing to bet that it just makes her upset or angry. *I'd say my piece, and be ready to head for the door.

Good luck.

[thetease13]

Relationships are about spending time together, and time apart. Too much of one and not enough of the other can quickly make a relationship go sour.

I know I have a very clingy nature and I don't always realize that I'm being so clingy to him until his attitude seems to change a little. Then I know that hey, it's time to take a step back and see what I've done to make him be this way and I know to give him a little space and time. If I do that, then we seem to get back on track and being our normal selves.

So, anyways, you either need to change your attitude with her some and hopes she gets a hint or just flat out talk to her.

[demonbuttercup]

Yeah she is definetly going overboard. I mean she apparently has no concern for you happiness. To keep you up when she's knows good and well you need sleep for school. To actually be happy that lost your chance at a tournament... thats just sad. Very selfish of her. For you to want to leave for 2 days and her get all crazy.
I think Wally made a good point about not confusing being needed with being loved.
Someone who loves you would want to you experience new things and to be great at whatever you try to do whether its in work, sports, etc.
I mean later on in life, you might be up for a big job promotion but that entails you have to be outta town a few days of the month, or have to go to conventions or whatever and she would totally make you feel guilty for that and in the end you wouldn't get what you wanted and worked for.
I would definetly talk to her, I know it will be hard to say it w/out hurting her feelings and she'll probably get WAAY upset, but stay strong. Your relationship can't continue this way or you will begin to resent her and just not want anything to do w/ her.
good luck!!!!

[Ragnarok]

I'm probably going to try to talk to her first, because just yesterday she invited herself to my hockey team's year end party, and you know, maybe I want to party with my teammates...

So my first step is : No, I rather I go to the party alone

[lilly2279]

I think that's a great idea.

She is probably clingy because she may be insecure. She may feel if she's with you every second you won't have a chance to meet other women. I don't know for sure of course. But it sounds that way.

I think it's mega rude to invite yourself to a party for something she didn't even support in the first place. If ANY one of my friends was happy because I didn't get something I wanted very badly, for any reason, I would be livid! Does she go watch your games?

I'm trying to get a vision of this girl. Does she expect you to cater to her, or does she run around you trying to do everything for you? She's sounds so keyed up. Saying she wants to move in when you get your own place, etc.

You said this started happening in the last few months. Anythign you can think of that may have caused it? Guess you can ask her why she is so insecure and clingy all of a sudden. And MAKE her tell you the truth. When she says "nothing" (cuz we girls love to say that, so you'll figure it out yourself!) If it's nothing, then she shouldn't be up your butt every second of the day and tell her you can't take it anymore and that it's making you want to be away from her.

[Ragnarok]

She's comes to majority of my games and she plays hockey herself too...she is even a trainer for a team for little kids that our like 10.

I think she is insecure, she doens't go to my school but I see her all the time.

I feel she wants me to take care of her, a small example I could think of would be if her foods not right at the resturant, I'll be the one asking them to fix it, and she wouldnt of done anything if I didn't.

Would me having a lot of friends that are female have anything to do with it?

[thetease13]

*butts in a minute*

Just because she's clingy does not mean that she is insecure.
As I mentioned I'm clingy in general. It's not because I'm insecure really. I think that is part of the issue but not so much.
It's because of how people have treated me in the past. People seem to use me and abuse me a lot. My so called friends just like want me around whenever they want me to be around and then ignore me the rest of the time. Or they just keep me for a little bit then pretty much dump me on the curb and leave me there because they're "through with me".
So, I'm clingy to him because I don't want our friendship to turn out like all my other friendships have. Despite what we're doing, he is my friend, and I just want keep him around for sometime. And because of what people did to me before when I stopped talking to them 24/7 (because of school or work or whatever), part of me thinks that if I stop talking to him and "clinging" to him, that he'll just forget about me like all the other people have.

So yea, in a way, it is an insecurity, but in a way it's not. It's more of a past issue thing that seems to want to haunt me... even if he tells me I'm not losing him, I can't seem to help but attach myself sometimes.