Sex after L/T relationship

[Arodine]

I wondered if anyone had experienced or had any advice on how they found sex and dating after a l/t relationship. I was in a L/T rel for 2 yrs. It ended in July 2004. The relationship was very intense but filled with lots of problems (hence why it ended). I would have to say though, (and I'm certainly not suggesting that this should be the entire basis of any relationship) that the sex was great and I was always really turned on by her even just talking on the phone. I certainly don't think it would have lasted that long had the sex not been so good. I was deeply hurt when it did end and was pretty depressed about it.

Since the break up, I've been on a number of dates with other women and had sex with a couple of them. But I've found that pretty much all of them lacked any real spark for me. In fact the sex has been so disappointing that I've just felt repelled afterwards and really quite empty. I think part of it was that none of them were really what I was looking for as a partner and therefore the sex was never gonna be what I was looking for either.

Part of the frustration in this is that I just don't seem to meet the girls that I would like to meet (even though I see lots of women who I would like to be with) and feel that due to my busy circumstances I'm "making do" with the ones I do meet and then getting really disappointed when they are clearly not what I'm looking for. I'm also wondering whether I have idealised the sex with my last g/f and I'm not letting myself or anyone else have the chance to live upto it. I would very much like to hear anyones thoughts on it and wondered ifanyone had similiar experiences.

Thanks

[oberon]

Hi Arodine,

It sounds like you've already thought this one through. *Your problem could be either of the things you mentioned- "making do" or "unrealistic expectations"- or a mixture of them both. *

Usually, after a breakup it takes some time before the feelings for the other person fade enough that you aren't constantly remembering/equating everything to them. It will happen though... and here comes the part we all hate to hear (lol)... It just takes time. *

Just be a bit more selective about your potential partners and give yourself time. *Eventually, you'll find someone that you connect with and who becomes more important in your life than your past relationship. *

Take care.

[secretly_shy]

Maybe you are one of the many people who find sex better when youre in a commited relationship? so its time to sit back and wait for the next miss right to come along.