He's jealous when drunk!

[samantha]

im seeing a *man who is 33 i am 20. we have been together on and off for the past 3 yrs.
the problem is when hes sober hes lovely and u couldnt ask for a nicer boyfriend.
we live about 45 mins apart. and last night i was out in the town with my cousin.
i spoke to him early in the night, and he sed to ring him at 11.
i didnt ring him because my cousin hasnt got a boyfriend and she gets jealous and upset when i speak to him when were out together.
he rang me at 12 ish and said it wasnt good enough that i didnt ring because i didnt wanna upset my cousin.
he then text me and sed he was sure i was with another lad.
he always says this when hes had a drink.
the thing is ive never ever done anything like that to him.and would never even think about it.

i dont know wot i c an say to him to make him believe me, he says thats its because im so pretty, that hes scared im gonna find someone better then him! which im not and i dont want to!

please help!

gonna try to ring him today to sort it out.
Sam x x x

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

well babes... sorry to say, but if you like a control freak thats your issue. but best you can do is talk to him, and he SHOULD understand that issue with your cousin... hell who wouldnt?i'd be kinda p-o'd if i was goin out with the girls or a friend and then my bf wants me to phone to check in..or if one of my gf's bf's wants... them to check in.. its like "UHHH scuse me? were going out tonite" Serious you guys gotta work on your trust, if you've been together like 3 years? and he hasnt realised that you arent gonna stray? maybe you should just look for someone else... i duno... cause... what fun is it.. if you always have to "CHECK IN" j ust because your bf is insecure... Being pretty doesnt make you a whore.. lol gesus.. no offense.. people always seem to get that.. mixed..

I duno, you will figure it out im sure.. but i think maybe? you should just re-evaluate your situation with him and if you really want to keep that.

Jamie

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

oh oh, sorry forgot..umm the drinking thing.. maybe he should get that looked at? cause some people it turns to that, then.. well it can turn violent.. just a thought.. i know people like that.. ?

[vagabondprince]

if he says it when he's drunk, it possibly means he still thinks it when he's sober and just holds his tongue. it's a trust issue on his part, and i don't really know what you can tell someone like him to help yourself. it's an issue he has to work out, and he has to want to work it out before he can work it out.

[lilly2279]

Talk to him about this situation when he is sober.

If he apologizes and feels bad, then you've at least got a chance and he's not a total control freak.

If this really only happens when he drinks, talk about him maybe cutting back or quitting completely. If someone is an instant jerk when alchohol is added, they obviously need to think about how worth it the drinking really is.

If he drinks in the future and acts the same, hang up the phone and tell him you won't talk to him when he acts like that. If you're with him when he acts like that, be careful. Hopefully he does not become violent, as LadyofLucidDepths said. That would be a logical and scary next step.

Good luck!