Keeping passion with kids in the house

[cajdi2004]

My wife and I have been married for a long time. We have 3 kids (one away at college) and 2 still at home (ages 12 & 11). We are entering a new phase of life where our kids are no longer little and they would stay up later than us (if we let them).

My question is this:

How do you keep passion and spontaneity alive when your time and ability is very restricted? When the kids are little, you put them to bed early and have the whole night ahead. The house is yours to do as you please. Whenever and wherever you want.

Now we no longer have the opportunity to do it on the couch, or on the steps. We feel confined to our bedroom (although we do have a hot tub in the back yard - if the kids knew we go in naked after they go to bed they'd never want to go in it - much less that we screw in there!) and mostly when they are in bed or pre-occupied with something.

We don't believe in sedating them by giving them a tv, computer, phone and gameboy wired to their rooms, so they spend a lot of time in the common areas of the house (which we think is good).

But this puts a damper on our sexual relationship. no matter how you spice it up, doing it on the bed in the same bedroom gets boring.

any ideas or comments?

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

AAAAAAHAHAHA
im so sorry, i find this so funny.. cause.. well im one of the "KIDS AT HOME" LAUGHS hysterically*

yeah man.. sorry... but i dont wanna think of the options.. cause my parents room is next to mine.. but lucky for them im almost out
but you could go for the hot tub, we would never know the difference.. and no it isnt smart totell us LOL or else well if it was me i wouldnt go in it or i'd throw some really harsh chemicals in there...
if you get up earlier than your kids, like hours.. LOL you could always go in the shower when you get ready for work?


jamie

[cajdi2004]

if they ever found out we do it in the hot tub, they'd leave home..........well maybe that's an idea? (just kidding!)

jamie- have you ever "caught" your parents in the act? (i know you may find it hard to believe thsat they actually do it, but they must!)

someday you will find out the horror and agony of trying to be romantic with kids in the house, or worse yet in the dorm with room mates!

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

hahaha omgggggg
YES so many god damn times.. i used to get so upset when i as little cause..their door before had a hole where the handle went.. *my house isnt finnished* and umm, i used to sleep with my door open when iw as little and yeah eww. andddd laughs omg like so many god damn times.. its just gross.. and my mom said a bit ago me and my brother were both leaving for the weekend and she had been drinkin with a friend she hadnt seen in a while and they were laughing and shes ilke "man now we dont have to be quiet, cause you kids will be gone" like EW! SERIOUSLY stop the corruption... i always say that to her.. Stop corrupting me.. laughs or.. i always point at the umm sex shops and im liek "i wanna go there" and i was laughing about it i was driving my dad and hes ilke "oh ask your mother to, she likes places like that" i just about stopped the car.. i like stared at him blankly.. for a bit... LOL im sure you get what was going through my mind

gahh... YEAH im sure they would leave the house.. LOL we children.. get completely freaked out about htat.. its like.. cause well its gross... think about your parents.. lol my mom wasbugging me then i m like "man i bet you grama and grampa do it all the time" my mom is liek "shut up.. dont ever say that" LAUGHS.. so hahaha
OHH i wont be too worried about Dorm mates im very.. blunt i'd tell them "im gonna do it now.. so... shut the door" LAUGHS

jamie

[vagabondprince]

back when i was around 14 i had a habit of sneaking out of my room to the computer room, and i'd get on the internet while everyone was asleep so i'd have undisturbed access to do what i wanted. well, i was walking back to my room from one of these sessions (my parents room being not too far from mine) and i heard their bed squeaking. i think that detered me from getting on the computer that late at night for at least two weeks after that because of the disturbing mental image that got stuck in my head that night.

As for your remarks on "or or worse yet in the dorm with room mates!", i have to say that isn't all that bad being walked in on by a room mate, unless of course your roommate is still rather innocent or has the perception that you are. heck, the only horror stories i've heard haven't been where someone got walked in on, it was where a friend's roommate would decide to get it on while the friend was in the room and awake. So getting walked in on in college is much less severe than your own children walking in on you. And if such a thing should happen, don't take it personally if they pretend to be blind for a few days afterward.

[cajdi2004]

my oldest (now 19) did once walk in on us in the act (w/my wife wearing garter & stockings) inthe living room whan she was 6 or 7 (she was supposedto be ASLEEP!!). I think she is probably still scarred (and scared) from that sight!

But now I am not so worried about being walked in on, but the loss of the ability to be spontaneous and adventurous around the house. As I said before,the bedroom all the time is boring!

We just moved from a larger house to a smaller house where our bedroom is right off the kitchen and shares a wall with the living room. So when we sneak off to do it while they are around, i cant imagine that they don't hear us. But then again, our old bedroom was right over the family room. I guess that explains why they always have the tv turned up soooo loud!

[vagabondprince]

i was so busy telling stories that i forgot to make a suggestion i thought if. what are the grandparents/aunts&uncles doing? are they close enough where you can drop them off to spend a fun night with grandma while the two of you have a fun night without the kids? i didn't realize that's what was going on, but i think my parents did this a couple of times back in the day.

[cajdi2004]

unfortunately, relatives are not close enough todo that, but far enough away to send them for a week or 2!!

If we are lucky, we can get them both to have a sleepover at somebody else's house on the same night! But it rarely works out that way. what usually happens is you get rid of one and the other has friends over!

[Rawbob]

I have a 14 year old, my partner has a 12 and 8 year old. Now, i suppose because we're gay, and all our kids know it, we're a bit more open about things....we've made it clear on many occasions that "daddy and i need some "alone time" so please don't disturb us and don't make a mess"

Now, thats one easy way for us, but there are many times when we have the kids that we really jsut go to a hotel.....the 14 year old can take care of himself and so we tell him "wer'e going out to dinner, be back ain a few"...and we go right to a hotel..get naked and go at it like jackrabbits..it's alot offun...and worth the 80bucks for the 2 hours of hot, alone time!

[cajdi2004]

we definately do the "mommy & daddy need some alone time" thing, but that does not help us do it anywhere else in the house but the bedroom.

i like the hotel idea. it also opens up the idea to role play like pick her up in a local bar and check into a hotel for a one nighter.

my wife is going out tonight to a clients holiday party. we have to pick up her car from the shop on her way there. she just em'd me that she's going to dress up and wouldlike to "go parking" on the way.........