wandering eyes equal wandering hands?

[ductapefaerie]

my boyfriend and I have been going out for just over two years. *we love each other very much, and I would never do anything to hurt him. *he means the world to me. *now, there's this friend, kyle, who I have dated before. *my bf broke up with me, and I was very upset, but quickly had my eye on kyle. *we went out for a few hours (I'm slightly ashamed of this) on the day my bf asked me back out, and our short relationship consisted merely of making out. *I broke up with kyle the second my bf asked me back out. *there is still a lot of physical attraction between kyle and me, but we are still very good friends. *as a joke, we made an arrangement: if we were ever single at the same time, we'd hook up.
now for the problem: I'm in college now, and my bf is still a senior in high school. *we are very close, but during the week, sometimes I'll start thinking about messing around with kyle. *I would never actually be able to do it, but if kyle were to initiate, I'm not sure what I would do. *is this normal? *I just want to know if this is a phase, or if I really need to address this issue, and if so, how. *thanks for any help.

--Jack

just so you all know, I am a girl, I just sign things like this Jack

[BabyBlue]

I think you do need to address it seeing as you say “you are not sure what you would do” if Kyle did initate anything.
Addressing it does not nessecerraly mean talking to your boyfriend about it, in fact I wouldn’t because you will probaly cause him a lot of stress, just come to a conclusion as what you would do…which if you want to stay with your boyfriend then what you would do is say no.
Fanataises are fine and compleatly noramal but cheating takes two, it also causes a lot of hurt, so I you do want to mess around, do it as a single person. Otherwise aknowldge to yourself that it is a fantasy that is not going to occur under any circimstances.

Hope this helps

[oberon]

I'd say you need to figure out what kind of person you want to be. Do you want to be one of those people who cheats? If not, then look but don't touch.

You might also ask yourself how you'd feel if it was your boyfriend asking this question. How would you feel if he was considering cheating on you?

[WallyLlama]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (ductapefaerie @ Nov. 30 2004,16:34)]...sometimes I'll start thinking about messing around with kyle. *I would never actually be able to do it, but if kyle were to initiate, I'm not sure what I would do. *is this normal? *I just want to know if this is a phase, or if I really need to address this issue, and if so, how. *thanks for any help.

Is it normal? Absolutely yes!

Is it a phase? Maybe, at least as far as Kyle is concerned.

It's called "sexual energy" and it's not always discriminating in terms of who it's directed towards. Do not deny your own sexuality, passion, and desire in the course of deciding who you will share it with. Sometimes in our haste to condemn cheating, we supress our natural and wonderful abilties for passion and pleasure.

Acknowledge the ability. Do not be ashamed of it. Give careful consideration to whether or not you are going to share it with Kyle. Your decision depends on many things: him, you, your bf, and your relationship with both guys. Make your decision with your head, not your hormones... but whatever you decide, don't condemn your hormones and deny your sensuality!

I also can't help but wonder if this is more than a sexual issue... but that's a different topic.