Holiday Hurt

[mjv154]

It's just been a little ruff today. *This is my first holiday with out my G.F. *Broke up about 6 months ago, and it's just killing me today. *

*This time of year has been a little bit harder than I thought it would be, and the prospect of Christmas in a few weeks has me just shaking in my boots. *

*I just sit there around the table with the rest of the family and gaze out the window, knowing that I won't see her today, or tommorrw, or on Christmas eve, or Christmas day.

*Holidays are about sharing with the ones you love, and I just don't have her to share it with. *I've been doing so well with the break up thing, but then today, it really hit me hard. Damb!

Just wanted to vent and get some of it out, I'm sure more will follow.

[eDJ]

Often guys take it hard like this. I've done it myself and just
put dating out of my life and built up some walls to give myself
some room and gradually get over it. Nobody wants a rebounder anyway...that knows what they are doing. So, take some time and dust yourself off while learning to just be you once again. The holidays are a tought time...even for the widows who were with their husbands for so long, or the guys who are recently divorced after a few years of marriage.(and feel left out in the cold) But it is part of life to love and loose.....and learn to recover, then do it all over again.(hoping for a better experience in the next relationship)

In teen and a lot of early twenties relationships there is a lot of volitility and short term relationships. Right after Christmas
there are lots of breakups and by spring the start of new relationships. There is almost a pattern for breakups and new
dating relationships thru the seasons of the year. You'll realize
how it works in time.

I was at a WalMart earlier this evening and witnessed a girl exploding at a cashier. I don't know what drove her problem
but the CSM came running and told the girl not to abuse her
cashier. The holidays can bring this out in people. Fights have occured over the last of a certain must have item too.

Remember there will be a lot of girls out there who share the same situation with you. So, if you can smile and say hi to someone who want to be friendly ya may find a friend thru the holidays. You could meet some new girls thru her and who knows. If you aren't up for this now, spring is right around the corner. Good luck!

eDJ

[thetease13]

Hey, you're not alone out there. A lot of people, women and men, go through it.

I'm "with" someone that I can't be with. And I have been "with" him since last year before the holidays began.
Last year was kinda hard cause it was new and I wanted some time with him and holidays aren't the best time in the world for me anyways. They tend to remind me what little in common I have with my family most of the time. And atleast I had stuff in common with him.

This year, I'm not sure where we are in this "relationship". While we spent a lot of time apart anyways since we can't be, we're spending even less time talking to each other and less time just being friends. So I'm not really sure if we're on a type of break till he gets all the stress he's been having over with and whatever else is playing a factor to his mood, or if we're just on the verge of perhaps one last time and that's it, or just stopping now. I don't know.
So, a little back on topic here, this year is even harder. Here I am thankful for all the stuff he's done for me, and finding that he'll probably never know what he's done for me or how thankful I am.
And, not only am I still seeing how little I have in common with my family, I also seem to be losing the one person I had stuff in common with..which doesn't exactly make the holidays very bright and cheery for me.

So yea, you're not alone out there.
Just gotta remember to take it one day at a time. That seems to be how I'm getting through my days.

[oberon]

Hey, MJV154,

As someone who has been alone (without a love interest) for several years now, I suggest you enjoy the people you do have around you. You'll find someone again. Until then, take as much comfort from your friends and family as you can.

Take care.

[WallyLlama]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (mjv154 @ Nov. 25 2004,19:32)]*Holidays are about sharing with the ones you love, and I just don't have her to share it with... *

Okay... I have some ideas. The holidays are a "nostalgic" and emotional time, often accompanied by a profound need to connect with something or someone. That's why we go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's House. Let's not confuse all that holiday stuff with sadness and depression.

If Christmas is going to be lonely:

Go to an orphanage or the pediatric ward at the hospital. You don't have to bring gifts, showing up is your present. Play with the kids... touch them, make them smile and understand that somebody is interested in them, their dreams, their hopes.

If you can't stand kids, head for the local nursing home. Your gift is your ears. Connect with these people and listen. If you think you've got it lonely, you're in for a huge awakening as to what loneliness is really about.

If you live in an area near a military base, call the base commander. Very often there are recruits on base that can't get home for the holidays, but could come for dinner at your house.

There are too many places and too many ways to share love during the holidays to sit and gaze out the window feeling sad. Maybe others would like to post additional ideas and places to go with your love...

No, it won't be the same as sharing it with a partner. But it will be darn good.

[monie]

Very good idea Wally. I myself have just started doing charity and volunteer work this year, and it really does feel great. I guess its a combination of seeing those perhaps less fortunate than you, and seeing that something you do can have a positive affect on them.
So go ahead and give it a try. I think it will help you get through this season in a good way.