lame sex life

[marriedforevr]

Hi again. Been enjoying the messages boards since my last post, but back again out of frustration, and the need to vent if nothing else.
I posted once already about my 13 yr relationship (11 married) and our mis matched sex drives. (me higher than he)
Well, there's a bigger issue that I have been trying to fix, but I am at a loss. After detailing to him what foreplay is REALLY needed for, and that I'd appreciate a bit more, I'm still perplexed by his behavior.
I made clear that we need to 'mix it up' ...variety being a wonderful thing. For the record I am ever careful not to be critical and sound like I'm keeping a score card or have too high of expectations. We're pretty good at communicating, and he listens pretty well also.
Ok, finally..here's my issue. The other night we were getting into it and we've both got hands moving in all the right directions. I'm getting hot and all--- but as I'm starting to move and moan and feel oh so good... I look up to see his face and he's eyes closed, head on the pillow, no look on his face?!?! From the neck down, I thought he was with me as far as feeling good (had the rock hard evidence in my hand) From the neck up he's 1/2 way to sleep! I believe he's going thru the motions of foreplay for my benifet, but I was so turned off I just pulled him to me and got it over with. (ya, no orgasm for me, which I could've gotten to if I just ignored this..BUT..) Don't men get turned on, turning on a woman? Doesn't the thought of all the fun we're just starting up do anything to all the senses? To just lay there, eyes closed...NOT closed like rolling back in the head wow this is so awesome...no no.. Like "I'll catch a rest while I do this foreplay stuff". Hand only, no other body part, thought, sense -involved here.
This isn't a first, and I have said we've got to get the sex out of the bed-a chance to move more. I've asked him to use two hands-again a little effort, a little moving.
If we start talking about yet another 'issue' I have with our stale sex life he's not going to be very receptive, I'm sure. I know communication is the only way I suppose, if he'll ever get it. But anyone out there have any explaination, insight, advice, or anything about someone who isn't into sex, or whatever his problem is.
Thanks to all who read all of this.

[BabyBlue]

Well I don’t know about your husband but I do know that at times I am just so relaxed that I probably look asleep and I do worry about my boyfriend seeing my like that, especially when he’s giving me oral, so I keep him under the cover lol.
It doesn’t mean that I’m enjoying it any less than other nights when I am going frantic, it’s just mood. *
It may just have been his mood at the time. *Like you said, it’s not as if he wasn’t excited when you had the evidence in your hand! *Sex can’t always be loud with those “desperate for sex” porn star faces on.

I have not seen your other posts, but it’s good that you’re communicating. *

You say you have mismatched sex drives; does your husband have any objection to you using toys? *I ask this because I suffer from a lot of urinary tract infections which often make sex a no,no and luckily my partner respects the fact that sex would be really painful if I tried. *So I’ll hold him and kiss him while he masturbates, it’s still intimate, and it’s still a shared experience but the pressure if off me to have sex and he still gets to cum and be snogged at the same time!. *I am going to get him some sleeves too lol, I’m sure he’d love some for a change.
Maybe you could reach a similar compromise with your husband, he may not want sex, but may still want intimacy; perhaps it could be part of your foreplay too.