Female Libido Problem

[weaselsnout]

Something is wrong with me. I'm only 27 and I've been married for 5 years to someone I'm madly in love with and attracted to. Why don't I want to have sex with him more than 2 or 3 times a month?? This sounds crazy!!

We have 3 young children, so, I am very busy all day. Can fatigue affect a woman's desire for sex?

I sometimes wonder if it could be a horomone imbalance of some sort. It seems like we had an active sex life (once or twice a week) throughout our pregnancies. I have noticed that when I ovulate, I am insatiable. I can't get enough but ovulation is very painful for me (as in I drop what I'm doing when I feel it coming on, take some tylenol and go to bed) so, it's extremely uncomfortable. The rest of the month I have absoultely no desire.

Also, I realize I have some trust issues. I mean, I have never had any reason to mistrust my hubby but I have a hard time trusting anybody. Doctors, friends, family, pretty much anybody. Perhaps I have some psycological problem that affects my being intimate with my husband?

I don't know what to do. I feel like I am letting my husband down. I just can't bring myself to have sex when I don't really want it. It's almost repulsive to me when I try, just to satisfy my guy. When we do have sex it's amazing! Has any other married or comitted woman out there had a problem with this? Is it normal? Do any guys have this problem with their mates? Some feed back would help.

[WallyLlama]

I'm certainly no expert on women's libido, but since there hasn't been much response to your post, I'll hazard a few thoughts.

First, 2-3 times a month could be quite "normal" for you. Second, fatigue can have an affect.

But some of your other comments cause concern. I'd strongly urge that you start with the physical aspect and see a good doctor, especially if some of this is a recent development.

[BabyBlue]

Don’t be so hard on yourself; for a start you have 3 small children, fatigue can defiantly affect a sex drive, in fact I think it is one of the biggest things that do affect it, along with stress, though both usually go hand in hand.

If you the main carer then you husband needs to chip in on the childcare a bit more or you need to get extra support, be honest, how much time do you rally get to yourself.

Also why all this pressure to have penetrative sex, I go through periods of stress related to my work, so there are times where I don’t want sex, but I still want intimacy, sometimes my partner masturbates while I hold him and kiss him. I get the intimacy and he gets an orgasm and it’s still a shared experience. It’s the next best thing I can do, neither of us would want me to have sex against my will, but I enjoy holding him. I am thinking of getting him some sleeves too that we can use as a couple, I have toys we use together so why shouldn’t he?
Also you could have a night of mutual masturbation, which takes the “performance” pressure off you both especially if your tired, you can just masturbate yourself in his presence while he does the same.

Each couple will have to find their own unique solution, so just talk honestly with each other