i need advice.

[wannaplease]

ok this might be long..... but the situation is. first off we are young and both working on careers. 21 still live with my parent who has health problems. well my g/f of 3 years has been living with me and my mom. well we though it was a good idea at first. so we could save money and get married and move out rather than struggle at first. but my mom is a clutter nutt. among other probs like seperation anxiety (only child) well it worked out ok for this past year but i noticed my g/f was getting stressed and upset, and was torn with the situation and becoming bitter towards my mother and her life style, so yesturday she says she is moving back to her dads house to get away from the problem, which i definatly understand, i am also alittle jealous that she got out first lol... but anyways i also feel a little wierd about the situation, kinda on defense or somthing. i dont know i am just confiused

[Rawbob]

Sounds like you already know the answer to your question. You chose your mother over your g/f.

You probably always will.

It dosn't sound like you're too busted up over her moving out either - which probalby makes her really feel like crap.

Sorry i'm not more help..but i feel sorry for you all.

I feel sorry for your girlfriend for giving up so many years of her life in hopes your promises to "be on your own" would actually come true.

I feel sorry for you that you can't balance your life and goals outside the shadow of your mother...and

I feel sorry for your mother that she dosn't push YOU out to learn to live on your own.

Sad, very sad.

[wannaplease]

no no no, i must have worded that out wrong, what i mean in simple terms is she lived with me and (mom it was supposed to help us save money, were not breaking up, she just cant live with my mother and this was her solution i am confused about it, would that be considered normal?

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

Yeah, i still agree with rawbob, even after your reply, maybe its time to move out WITH your gf... and..yeah its normal, i wouldnt wanan live with my man and his mom, i'd hate it.
i can't blame her, it w ould feel like shes invading, or cramping someones style, maybe living with your dad would be different, i think it would but... i couldnt live with a bf's MOM.. a dad maybe...but i dunoif you have been talkin about movin out together and are still living with you r mom, maybe its her way of saying.. "i want to do thisnow.. im tired of waiting" and i can't blame her.


Jamie

[experimenter]

Okay, question, you said you are living with your mother who has health problems, are you talking emotional health problems or physical problems that require your help? I could understand your living with her for that reason, but you need to set some ground rules, even though it is her house, she needs to understand that you have your own life. If she can't deal with it, then perhaps you need to arrange for other care for her. I do think that your girlfriend had the right idea by moving out, I don't know anyone that would agree to living with the guys' mother. If you both are wanting to save money, perhaps you should move in with your girlfriend and split the rent cost there. It would cause a lot less emotional strain between the two of you, and you could still go over to mom's to check in on her.