FRIENDS WITH AN EX?

[Bewitching]

Hey guys & girls

Just wondering and extremely curious here:

How many of you have remained friends with an ex-lover?

How was the transformation process? *How is your relationship now? *Do you wish you could be back together again on a 'romantic' level or ever think why things went really wrong for you not to stay 'lovers'? *Do you enjoy your relationship how it is now rather than when you were together as a couple?

Please, let me know your thoughts!!

[mjv154]

She and I were together for four and a half years, met in Highschool, dated through college. *It ended, and while the main reason was that we each needed to forge our own paths in the world, it was still very hard on both of us. (she actually ended it)

*After about 3 months of no contact we ran into each other at the gym, and things seemed rather normal. *We exchanged some emails to catch the other up on the several months that had passed, even a few phone calls.

*It was almost 4 months to the day we broke up that I asked her is she would accompany me to a new exhibit at a local museum. *We agreed to go as friends, and friends alone.

*So, Bewitching... we are friends. *

*Life is pro's and con's. *There are good things about being apart, and bad, just as there would be if we were romatically involved. *I wil tell you, I miss her like there is no end to it, but it consoles me to know that she misses me as well.

*The transition was fairly easy. *Why? Well, we always had a very loving, respectful relationship, with good communication. *Our break-up was as mutual as one could be, and has made both of us much stronger, more caring people.

*I have told her that I think it is good for us to experiance life in a more independant, self-sufficient way. *I also told her that in the future some time I will ask her out, on a DATE. *Until then, we will remain as friends, seeing each other on a semi-regular basis, and keeping in touch.

*There is, however, a painfull side to all of this. *If you would like, message me and I will share that part of the past few months with you.

[oberon]

Hey Bewitching!

I've always liked something I heard Bette Davis say when asked if she had remained friends with any of her ex's:

"If we could have been friends, I'd have just stayed married to them." *

LOL. *I've always thought that pretty much covered it.

[WallyLlama]

In my most memorable case, it didn't work. It's probably too long a story to post here in detail, but we were "lovers" and had a hard break up...

Tried to be friends, but ended up becoming "lovers" again.

All these years later I refer to her as "the first wife" and I haven't spoken to her in a LONG time, thankfully.

That's not to say it can't happen. But it truly has to be about two people wanting it to.

[Orbital]

I hope to stay friends with my last g/f (who I was utterly in love with) but we're still deep in the post break-up little-contact-because-it's-just-too-hard stage. Because of everything we went through, and everything I know about her... And because things ended amicably (no bitterness) I will do my upmost to kep in conact with her. It's harder/easier in a way because of the distance we live apart... It will just be soul-destroying when she meets someone else, but I'll have to work through that. I have a feeling that if we meet again and we're both single we'll end up in bed, because as we both agreed we were great together in that respect. The morning-after issues we'd tackle should that happen.

*sigh* I miss her.

[lilly2279]

I think it's very possible to be friends with ex boyfriends/lovers as long as you still like something about them. lol.

I've dated men that were not really right for me long term. One of my best friends is a guy I used to have sex with. lol. We know waaaaaay too much about each other to not have remained friends! He has met some of my boyfriends and my current boyfriend understand we will always be best friends.

Although it is easy to fall back into bed with someone you've already been there with. I almost cheated on an old boyfriend with him once. The goodbye hug, turned into a goodbye kiss, turned in a longer kiss... etc.... But we got through it and I wouldn't let that happen again with the guy I'm dating.