Partner's Sex Drive

[ACV]

My wife and I have been married for over 3 years now. Unfortunately our sex drives are different. My sex drive is high while she could live without our sex life and still be happy. She says she enjoys it but her actions do not show that. We have sex about 3-4 times per month in the same position (mitionary) and in the same place (on our bed) EVERY time. Nothing ever changes. She says that she does not like me to give her oral sex (although I enjoy giving it to her) and says that any other position (her on top, doggie style, standing from behind, etc.) hurts her (is this possible or is she just self contious about her body/butt). I never force her to do anything she does not want to do or try anything that she says hurts--that would also take my enjoyment out of sex.

Without sounding like a pervert, I would like to spice up our sex life with different positions, toys, etc. without offending her. I love my wife very much and fantisize about her every minute of the day but I am always left frustrated!!

[mspersia82]

It could be that her hormones are low, she is depressed, tired, etc. I used to be like that and it was because I was not physically attracted to my man. Every woman is different though so you should talk to her about it. Also, make sure she gets her hormone levels checked. Something could be wrong.

[Rawbob]

How long has this been going on? When you were dating and thru your engagement, were u having sex more often and in different positions or has it always been this way?

If its different now then before, then you need to talk about it. I'd be, if it's been different in the past, its about ROMANCE! Wine and dine her, buy her flowers (and not just when you want sex)..write her love letters. With most women, sex and love and romance are all tied together, so if you're looking to "f***" and she's looking to "MAKE LOVE" then its quite possible that she's doing what she feels is right, but not with alot of passion.

IF your sex life wiht her has always been the same position/same location since you've been together then you have a big problem - she thinks thats what you want and need.

Go buy "101 Nights of Great sex." You can get it at any Barnes and NOble or other major bookstores. There are some great ideas that involve great sex WITH the romance she most likey desires!

Hope this helpls

[experimenter]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (ACV @ Aug. 11 2004,10:06)]My wife and I have been married for over 3 years now. *Unfortunately our sex drives are different. *My sex drive is high while she could live without our sex life and still be happy. *She says she enjoys it but her actions do not show that. *We have sex about 3-4 times per month in the same position (mitionary) and in the same place (on our bed) EVERY time. *Nothing ever changes. *She says that she does not like me to give her oral sex (although I enjoy giving it to her) and says that any other position (her on top, doggie style, standing from behind, etc.) hurts her (is this possible or is she just self contious about her body/butt). *

Without sounding like a pervert, I would like to spice up our sex life with different positions, toys, etc. without offending her. *I love my wife very much and fantisize about her every minute of the day but I am always left frustrated!!

Well for starters, every woman is different. *I personally prefer doggie style, but if my guy pushes too far, then it can hurt. *I don't particularly care for the woman on top position either, as that does tend to be a bit uncomfortable. *Perhaps your wife is experiencing the same problem.

I wouldn't call you a pervert. *I would say that you are doing the right thing. *I have been married for 5 years, and after a while, you need to spice things up or they can become boring. *Try to talk to your wife (outside the bedroom, and NOT during sex), ask her if there is anything that interests her. *If she is not very experienced, (if you were her first) then perhaps you could mention an idea here and there. *If she starts acting like she is uncomfortable with the conversation, don't push it. *But at the same time, without pressuring her, try to find out why she is uncomfortable with different positions, places etc. *Sometimes it just takes a little patience. *But like Rawbob said, if this has been going on since you were married, but things were different before you got married, well, it would be a good idea to try and find out what caused the change, if there was one. *Good luck!

By the way, sometimes all it takes is to just mention a new idea or position, and let her think about it for a while. Who knows, curiosity may get the best of her...