Meet new girl friends? What does this mean?

[starburst697]

Ok, out of nowhere, my boyfriend starts telling me he thinks that he might want to take a break. He says that this has been buggin him for a couple of months, and that he feels like he wants to know what other girls are out there, as in what they are like and how it would be like to hang out with them. He says that since we met in high school, we're 19 and 20 now, that he hadn't really had many girlfriends before me, none of them more than a couple of months. We've both never been in a serious relationship before this one, we've been together for almost 2 1/2 years. He says that he always wished that he had become friends with more girls during highschool, and that he sees girls and wonders what kind of person they are, and what it would be to hang out with them. He says that he feels like I'm the only girl our age that he really knows, and that he wonders how other girls are like. I had always told him that if he didn't give me a reason to worry, then I had no problem with him being friends with girls, as long as they knew he was taken. I've never acted jealous towards any girls that he has met now in college, but he still felt that I was just saying that I wasn't jealous to make him happy. He felt that if he told me that he wasn't going to hang out with me, and hang out with a girl that I would get angry/jealous. Does this sound like a normal response to him not really having any female friends besides me? His plan is to, when our semester starts in about 2 1/2 weeks, that he's going to try becoming friends with other girls, and be on a strictly friendship basis. He hopes that this will sort things out. Do you guys think this is what he needs? He says that he wants this to fix things, and I sincerely believe him. Anyone have any thoughts on whether this sounds like a solution that will actually work? Any guys out there, does this make sense to you all? I need help!

[WallyLlama]

There are lots of "could be" things... but I'd say take what he's saying at face value to begin with... he could be testing himself to discover if he's going to be easily tempted... he could be testing you to see how jealous you become...

From your post it sounds like this was something you encouraged in the past... he's finally getting around to it. You might even find that he doesn't actually follow through much.

The key is not to overreact to what he does. Keep talking about your relationship with each other; don't obsess about his friendships with other girls.

In a serious relationship, everybody gets "cold feet" from time to time and wonders a bit "what else is out there." It doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with the relationship or the partner. Sometimes it's just plain curiousity.

[Brandye]

1. I have never heard of the "take a break" that did not bode seriously.
2. At your ages, getting to know yourselves, as well as others, is important.
3. Better to hear him say this now than with two kids.
4. If you do get back together, it will really mean something.

[ductapefaerie]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]In a serious relationship, everybody gets "cold feet" from time to time and wonders a bit "what else is out there." It doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with the relationship or the partner. Sometimes it's just plain curiousity.

Wow, wally...you're good...I was just about to post another topic about that...I always thought it sounded funny to say cold feet when you're not talking about a wedding...cause I've never heard it really anywhere else...but I feel so much better knowing that it's normal...it helps that my bf is so understanding, too...I end up telling him everytime my mind or eyes wander, and he just laughs at me and tells me it's okay...

[WallyLlama]

In sales it's called "buyer's remorse." LOL

I may be dating myself with the "cold feet" thing... and no, I don't have a clue what the feet have to do with it. LOL

But thanks for the compliment.

[starburst697]

Phew, that's a relief to hear someone else say that it could just be a phase. We both agreed that when the semester starts we'll have a time set up each week, Sunday or Saturday, that we'll see how the other (which will mostly mean him) feels. I could swear that since he's told me he's been so much sweeter and lovey dovey towards me. I mean, he's always been the type to say I love you a lot, but since about a day after he told me, he just keeps going on about how much he misses me and loves me (he's away for the summer to visit his parents). *It's almost like now that he got it off his chest, he's realizing more how much he would miss me not being there. I'm just hoping that once the semester starts in less than 2 weeks that he'll become friends with a couple of girls and not even give taking a break another thought. I know that if I felt that I couldn't be friends with the opposite sex it sure would seem that I was missing out on something. I'm thinking it was more the idea of something that wasn't allowed that made him wonder, kinda like exotic fruit. Ooh, and thanks again for all those who replied and not bringing up the whole "You're only 20 for goodness sakes!" idea, I know for those of you older than me it may seem so stupid to think that any relationship at this point could be taken quite so seriously, but everybody's gotta start somewhere. Thanks again!

[WallyLlama]

Sounds great, Starburst.

And let me add that I often learn things from people much younger than I. Age does not have a monopoly on wisdom and youth's is often under-estimated.