how to wait

[ductapefaerie]

My boyfriend and I have been going out for nearly 2 years now. We are very much in love, and are planning on getting married after we graduate from college, if not sooner! (I'm rooting for the sooner...not only are we married then, but college is cheaper! ) Well, we are at the point now where the only step left (that we've thought of), sexually, is sex...but neither of us really want to have sex till we're married or 18...I guess whichever feels right...well, he's already planning this amazing romantic birthday thing for my 18th birthday (verses his 18th birthday), since I'm a month and a half younger than him...it definitely involves sex, but we both want it to be the first time...now, sex has been the next step for a very, very long time...well, at least 7 or 8 months...which is quite a while...it's been very hard to resist from sex the past month or so...but I want to wait the year and few weeks (I'll be seventeen soon!! yey!! ) for this awesome present...or at least wait till he's completely cool with sex...because we're both on the same boat pretty much...want to, but don't because of morals and such...so, the question that took forever to get to: any ideas for how to hold out for the year to pass? it does help that I'm going to be going to college and he's still a senior in high school, but those weekends where we're alone could possibly be deadly...and I just wondered if anyone had some creative ideas for how to make the waiting less...I don't know...painful? lol any ideas at all would be wonderful!! Thank you!!

[WallyLlama]

I'm confused. Are you waiting until you're married or not?

I can tell you this: showering together is not going to help. LOL

Sometimes focusing on not doing something (in this case having sex) just makes it seem all the more desirable and necessary. I think that's part of what's going on here. Most people want what they can't have.

IF you are committed to waiting, you have to stop focusing on it and stop putting yourself in sexually tense situations.

I say "if" because from your post it sounds like you haven't fully decided to wait.

[experimenter]

My husband and I were dating for 4 years before we got married, and we waited to have sex. There were times when it definately wasn't easy, but if you make that commitment to wait until marriage and know in your heart that is really what you want to do, then you should be okay. But I do think it is a good idea to keep yourself out of situations that could potentially be "deadly" as you called them. Talk to you boyfriend and find how just how committed you two are to this, and make your decision from there. Personally, my husband and I were glad we waited, it made the honeymoon that much more exciting.

[ductapefaerie]

well, wally, I guess you're right in saying we haven't fully decided...I am perfectly fine with the idea of having sex, and have been for a while, but he really wants to wait...and there's a possibility of us getting married by the time I'm 18 anyway, since we'll be going to the same college after this year...I'm pretty sure we won't be able to wait until marriage, if we don't get married till after college, since we are planning on getting an apartment for college (I think it will be a bit cheaper than room and board...) He's really the one who wants to wait...and I respect him, and if he waits that long, I will, too...I just would rather not...lol...but whatever...I love him, so it's okay...