too young?

[ductapefaerie]

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years. He just turned seventeen, and I'll be seventeen in less than a month. For the duration of our relationship, we have spent as much time together as possible. We are both madly in love with each other. We are already planning on getting married: not immediately, because he's only a senior in high school and I'm starting college this fall, but we'll be going to the same college next year and possibly be sharing an apartment. I know a lot of people think that there's no way we could actually be in love because we're so young, and they use the argument that high school relationships don't last, but my parents have been married for 18 years, and they got married right before they graduated. I was just wondering what all of you thought. Are we too young? Any advice? All comments are welcome!!

[secretly_shy]

Im trying to think of the English equivilant, but here goes!

While going to uni, Ive come accross many couples who have been together since 15 or 16, and are now living together and weddings have been planned! I think its a good idea to live together because then you get to see what each other is truely like 24/7.

Another set of my friends (not at university, they work) started going out in march... got engaged in june... wedding is planned for december! (date set ect!) I think they are rushing into it a little bit, but they still have my blessing.

Just be together for as long as you can, if you love each other and want to be married thats never a bad thing!!!

[thetease13]

i know a couple who were high school sweethearts.
they both went to college, and i believe both graduated (i know he did...wich a double major actually) and then they got married and are both very happy.

i don't think you're too young.
you are waiting a bit so that's good, and i say as long as you're happy, go for it, and you seem happy.

[experimenter]

I think in this type of situation, you have to listen to your hearts and not what other people are saying. I was 14 when I met my husband (he had just turned 20-imagine what people did with that...) anyway, for us it was hard to get time to spend with each other (I had a very strict mother who didn't really even let me date when I did turn 16..) About a month before I turned 17, he proposed to me. I had pretty much everyone in my family telling me that I was too young, that I didn't know what I was doing...that I was going to be missing out on so much in my life. What did I do? I followed my heart. We loved each other and we knew each other's hearts. We did what was right for us and not what other people thought was right for us. We got married just 3 weeks after I turned 18 and we have just celebrated our 5 wedding anniversary. Bottom line... only you know your heart, and only you can make this decision. It is your life and you are the only one that has to live it. If you are happy and in love, then I don't see why age should be an issue. I do think however, that your plans of living together first might be a good "trial period". This will give you an idea of whether or not you will be able to live with each other. Believe me, after 5 years of marriage, some things that used to be cute sorta start to get annoying. If you can live with each other's idiocyncrasis, then I'd say you've got a chance. Our religious beliefs did not permit us to live together before marriage, so we had a bit of an adjustment period.

[experimenter]

I also wanted to add that before we got married we made a promise to each other. That no matter what happened, how angry we might get with each other etc, that we would work it out. Neither one of us believes in divorce. I guess in my opinion, society has made it far too easy to give up, it seems like anymore if something isn't going right, the automatic solution is to get a divorce...the true test is whether or not you can actually keep the promise of your vows and stick with each other. Good luck with whatever you do.

[Brandye]

Statisticaly, it cannot last. Exceptionally, some people make it work beautifully. Make a choice and recognize it as your decision.

[Zool]

First i have to reply to Brandye's response, and simply say that love has nothing to do with statistics.

Follow your heart. People's advice only stands when it is about something which does not radically change between people. People can give you information on buying a house, choosing route of education and other things, bu they can not say what your feelings are, nor how they stand to change.

You are free to do whatever you feel.

There is nothing dangling over your head forcing you to get married, and whether you are or not should have no bearing on the love you and your partner feel for one another.

If things last, then you can think about things such as living together and marriage when the pair of you feel they should be thought about.

If things don't, then you take stock, gather your feelings as best you can, and see what else is due in your life.

Personal opinion is i don't need a certificate to tell me I love someone.

[experimenter]

I'm not really sure that age has anything to do with whether or not a marriage will work out. The last I heard, the divorce rate was somewhere around 50%, so that's gotta be hitting about all age ranges doesn't it? I know a lot of "kids" who are far more mature and equiped to get married than some "adults".

[Brauul]

I think the reason statistically, that young love fails is simply because younger people supposedly are immature, and don't understand the intricate details of having a good healthy relationship (again supposedly). *Being with someone for 2 years is a good start. *You usually never want to jump into marriage without actually knowing your parner for awhile. *I think that exact reason is why younger relationships fail, is simply because the time spent in that relationship is split between school, parents and all the other responsibilities with becoming more adult. *I say simply keep at the relationship. *Make whatever goals you want but don't simply read into the idea that because you are young, the relationship is going to fail. *Only you two can really make it happen or not. *Get advice all you want, but ultimately it is up to the two of you to figure out what you want to do with your lives. *Unless your parents are totally against you two in the relationship, or you two are having serious problems, who is to say that it is wrong, or doomed to fail? *I think you have a good base to a relationship if you can survive eachother for 2 years and have all the other stresses going as well. *Your next step would be living together, and I think that will show the true stregnth of the relationship. Wait till you find out she leaves dirty socks on the floor or something You may not think it will mean anything, but you have no idea of what can be irritating and can cause problems until you honestly live together and sleep in the same bed. It really is eye opening. Gives a whole new perspective on the relationship.

[LittleFury]

I have seen both. I have seen my friend who got married at 18 get divorce before they are 21. But I have also seen my bf's parents who got married at that age and eben together for over 30 years still going strong. I would suggest that you guys just live together for a bit, see how it works out. Don't rush into things. Just take your time and make sure that it's right.