Sex Decline After Marriage

[wax]

alot of the time you'll run into someone who will always say that they never get it as much as they used to before they were married.....or never get married because the sex slows down. so what do you think about this rumor....is it true.....or is it false

[thetease13]

it's true.

some couples are able to maintain a healthy and frequent sex life..but for most? it dramatically declines.

[experimenter]

I think for the majority it is true. Speaking (for myself) as a wife and mother, it is hard to get out of what I call "mommy mode" and remember that I am a wife too. I think the key is making sure that you get enough "alone" time. It is hard to maintain the type of sex life that we had initially, but also I think that is because we have grown together and sex isn't the most important thing. I mean sure, it's very important to a marriage, but it's not ultimately the most important aspect of a marriage. At least not for us.

[demonbuttercup]

im not married but ive lived w/ my boyfriend for 3 years so pretty much the same thing...lol.
and yeah the sex usually declines.
i think that happens in just about any relationship.
when you first start out its new and exciting and you want to do it all the time.
after years and years together, its just not that new and exciting. doesn't mean you still don't enjoy it.
my b/f and i have sex once or twice a week.
i dunno if thats sparingly or not to some people lol.
when we first moved in together we had sex twice a day for the first 2 weeks..lol.
then it went to once a day, then several times a week, and so on... you get the picture.

even if this is true, it shouldn't mean that you should avoid committing or settling down w/ a girl.

[LittleFury]

Gonna continue from what demoncup said
...Cause in return you get soemthing that is far better. Of course, it's so very exciting to have a new bf/gf and exciting to have sex all the time. But as time goes on, you gain a real partner, a best friend. As time goes on, you learn mroe about each toher, you might live with each other, and even if sex declines, your relationship usually grows stronger. Thats how it is in my relationship at least. Even though the honeymoon phase is over and we faced real life with problems and people trying to tear us apart, we're still strong, even if the frequency of sex declined. But you know, I wouldn't change what we have now for the world.

[demonbuttercup]

good addition littlefury

[LittleFury]

Thank you

[Tessie]

Wax what I would like to know is what is your idea of decline? I mean when you are first together you might do it all the time. Maybe even a couple of times a day. But then things do settle down.

But there is a big difference in a deline of say two to three times a week to once every couple of months.

And no sex doesn't have to decline as long as both partners make an effort to not let that happen.

I agree that it is sometimes hard to get out of "mommy mode" but it is just important to get into "lover mode" as well. It will only strengthen the family.

[wax]

ya i meant decline as in once every month or so

[Rawbob]

I think if you're "counting" the number of times a couple has sex after 3-4 years of a committed relationship, that 95% would say the frequency of sex has decreased from when they were first together.

With me and my partner..it kinda goes in waves. We may go for 2 or 3 montths where we have sex once or twice a month(not quickies, but a nice 1-2 hour lovemaking session with lots of foreplay,etc).

Then there are times when for some reason (usually vacation, or special event or something like that) we revert to teen agers again....where it's every day 2wice a day.

I DO however belive that it's BOTH PARTNERS responsiblity to bring up the issue of sexual satisfaction. There are times when i REALLY and too tired to engage in sex, but i do it because....YES its my duty. Do i enjoy it as much as when i'm horned up like a 3-legged goat.....no..but was it distastful or unsatisfactory....hell no.

Sometimes it's a handjob..sometimes its oral sex....but....i belive BOTH PARTNERS have an obligation to meet their other partners's sexual needs within reason.

Ok, please, can we accept what "within reason" means. I don't want us to get off on a tangent about what that means..beacuse it's different for each couple. But if you LOVE your husband/wife.....and they are itchin for some sex....park your ego and self-depricating rationale's and get naked.

Remember, the top two reasons people divorce is SEX and MONEY! If you have a wedding ring on your finger, you have made a committment of LOVE AND DEVOTION to your partner. So, if your hubby is wanting to "f***" and u think he's being unfeeling and it's not "lovemaking".......LET THAT GO or you're staring down a path that will only lead to lots of fights and other problems!

If you (this goes for MEN and WOMEN equally) can find a way to make dinner, do the dishes, pay the bills, have dinner meetings, work around the yard, fix the car etc....isn't having sex with your partner at LEAST as important as buying dog food or getting your kids back from soccer?

PRIORITIES not EXCUSES!