Orgasms??

[experimenter]

Okay, running the risk of being laughed at and having people wonder what the I have been married for 5 years now and I really don't think I have ever had an orgasm. What do they feel like and how can you tell if you've had one?? (Jeez I sound like a virgin. UGH)

[Brandye]

Your situation is not unique. The question has been raised here before and I hear it in my office. If you have never masturbated, you really do not know what you are to expect. Masturbation is the best training system we women have. There is a very high relationship between the younger we start masturbating, the more sexually satisfied we are in a later life. But, it is never too old to start.

Get a good quality vibrator - not one of the weak battery things that looks like a fake penis. Get a major appliance, not a bargain priced one. When you have plenty of privacy and are in a sexual mood, place a folded towel over your genitals and start using the vibrator. Panasonic makes a good one and the so-called "Swedish massagers" that strap onto the back of your hand with springs are quite powerful. Do not use these directly on yourself until you learn what they do.

Do this a few times a week and you will learn what an orgasm feels like.

Interesting side story: In my village, two old maid sisters lived together their entire lives. One died while they were in their early seventies. A month or so later the remaining sister was in my office complaining of intense vaginal itching - actually, I suspect, vulvar itching. I did all the normal checks and tests and prescribed the usual stuff with no result. Finally, I told her to get Nivea creme and spend at least twenty minutes three times a day rubbing it in. Problem cleared up. Draw your own conclusions.

[experimenter]

Well, the vibrator idea is out. My husband isn't too into the idea of anything being inside of me except him. And as far as masturbation goes, well it's like if you run a finger down your arm, you don't really feel anything, cause it's just you, but if that special someone does the same thing (his finger on your arm) you get shivers. Don't know if that makes any sense, but that's kinda how it is for me.

[Brandye]

Well, I do not know what to say. Vibrators do not usually go into you, they are on the surface. And surely there is some privacy in your life.

As for the rest of your comment, I can only point out that about a quarter of all women never or rarely experience orgasms. I have had patients who have several children but have never experienced orgasm.

Assuming there are no health or physiological problems, your choice.

[experimenter]

Of course there is privacy in my life, however, I will not disrespect my husband by doing something that he is not comfortable with. We don't do that in our relationship. But thank you for your replies.

[demonbuttercup]

yeah but what she's saying is that a vibe on the clit can work wonders.
sometimes if its taking me a long time from just penetration i will get out my vibe.
the only way i can orgasm w/ penetration alone is if im on top usually.
if i use my vibe on my clit and he's pumping me, the orgasms are out of this WORLD!!!!!
and my boyfriend isn't offended or feels less of a man.
he knows that the combination makes me feel REALLY GOOD and he likes that

your husband shouldn't be intimated or limit your sex life.
like i said, it doesn't have to penetrate you, it can just help stimulate your clit.
he should be open to anything that helps you orgasm and feel good.
my feelings are that if you have to ask or wonder if you've ever had an orgasm, then more than likely you haven't. b/c if you've had one you'd know it.

[Tjdude]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (experimenter @ June 25 2004,11:53)]" Well, the vibrator idea is out. *My husband isn't too into the idea of anything being inside of me except him. "

Whoa!!! well, i don't know your husband, but that kind of comment means a lot. Why does he have to be uncomfortable with you using a vibrator or some other thing what ever it is? like demonbuttercup said, he shouldn't limit your sex life or you shouldn't limit yourself because of him.
If he loves you and want you to be happy, i'm sure he wouldn't mind using some simple sex toys on you.
Is he a very conservative kind of guy? did u and him had oral sex or try different positions? Maybe you guys just need to be more open about sex, and make honor to your nick.

[experimenter]

He is on the conservative side, and yes I have given him oral before. We have tried different positions and such, but he just isn't into the whole "sex toy" thing, and that's fine, that really isn't the issue. It isn't any fun for either person if you have to "force" them into something they aren't comfortable with. And the idea of going behind my husbands back is not something that I will even consider.

Back to my original questions: 1) How can you tell if you've had an orgasm? and 2) What does an orgasm feel like?

I have been told that if I have to ask the first question, then I have never experienced it. Fair enough. Can anyone answer the second question? And does anyone have any tips on the best ways to reach orgasm (Barring any mechanical or battery operated devices that is)?

[Tessie]

experimenter I won't go into my opinions on the wonders of the vibrator if you aren't going to try it then of course that is your right and I respect you for it.

Now as to what it feels like to have an orgasm that really can vary from woman to woman. Some have only clitoral orgasms some only penetration.

I am multi-orgasmic and I have what I call my degrees of orgasms starting from mild and gentle sensations to all out mind blowing orgasms that leave my whole body weak.

I also like most women orgasm only through clitorial stimulation so you need to start there I would suggest. That is why we suggest a vibrator because it produces the best results (in my opinion at least)

Here is a link to a site that explains pretty good the feeling and what happens to the body during orgasm. Female orgasm I got this by going to google and typing in female orgasm. There is lots of info that you might find helful for you.

One suggestion that could work if you don't want to use mechanical devices is to rub your clitoris with your fingers until you cum. Also and I do mean that this is very good is to get a detachable shower head and use that on your clit. Be careful not to force water up into the vagina, that can be dangerous. If you don't have one of them then take a bath. Don't put water in the tub and lay down and scoot all the way forward and turn the faucet on full blast, as hot as you can stand it and let the water wash over your clit. I had my first orgasm at 12 by doing this one.

When you have a orgasm that is so powerful it will take everything out of you and you will be left feeling weak, sleepy, and very content and happy. I often laugh after I have one because of the release of endorphines that shoot through the body are just awesome.

[demonbuttercup]

if anything buy one of those $5 spinning toothbrushes and see how it feels lol.
see what you've been missing and its not a "sex toy" so to speak.
just don't use the bristly side, i haven't tried this but ive heard on here it feels pretty good.
just a thought