Romance & Foreplay

[2deprived]

I try to talk to him about it, but nothing ever changes. He might kiss me a couple of times and then grind on me until he is hard and then he enters me before I am anywhere close to being ready. *

It has gotten to the point I don't have any interest in being with him anymore. I prefer self stimulation, although that it is getting really boring having a party all by my lonesome. I am really starting to get depressed. It seems to be getting worse as the years go by. He really doesn't know what he is missing! I often think about being with another man, but I am not feeling very good about my body these days. Not only that, but I would never commit adultry.

Is this the kind of life I am destined to live? *

[?wiseman?]

2deprived, take matters into your own hand. Take the dominant role in your lovemaking. You can make a game out of it if you want to. Tell him that he can't touch you or, if he's up for it, tie his hands to the bed so that he can't use them.

I know it sounds like he's the one that's gonna get all the pleasure, but if you're in charge, you'll control the action and get things goin at your own speed. Give it a try.

[Darling Rani]

Yep I'm going through the same thing.

[Nurse Naddy]

I agree, try taking control.

Have you told him how you are feeling, and not just in terms of wanting foreplay, but how uninterested you have become? I always think open communication is important and perhaps he doesn't see this as important.

Also, get yourself a new toy! *LOL* I am going through the on my own thing and finding that is helping....

[LittleFury]

Tie him up and do bad bad things to him to show him what he's missing. He might get the pointthat way since he's not listening. Or just don't let him enter you till he takes care of you. Make him get you all hot and bothered, give you oral, give you an orgasm, and only then let him enter you. Or try asking him to fulfill your fantasy, and tell him what you want. If neither of that works, then just beat him over the head repeatedly with a bottle of cheap vodka

[2deprived]

LOL...I think he is completely cluless or is not intereted in me. I think he is trying to start a relationship with a girl half his age. They have been chatting online and have been getting quite "chummy". More power to him if he thinks he can do better. I won't complain. I just wish he would either do it or don't and quit walking that fine line of unexceptable behavior.

This situation is not helping my sex drive or my self esteem very much. If he wants to run of with this little hotty, he will pay dearly! I will fight him tooth and nail for the house and everything in it!

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

Hmm sounds like you don't really care too much.. its almost like it seems as if its "over" in your mind anyway?


Jamie

[2deprived]

I want to be really close to him. I'm just not sure that's what he wants. Everytime I think we are on the same page, I am disapointed.

I think that I am trying to protect myself from anymore disappointments and have kind of built an emotional calous which is dulling my feelings for him. We just celebrated out 12 year anniversary and I just don't know how to get him to open up to me in every way. If I didn't think I would get hurt again I would do naughty things to him.

What I mean by getting hurt again is:

Last year for our anniversary, (this is just one example) I bought a really sexy "outfit" for lack of a better word, from Victoria's Secret. I wore it under a silky, short, red robe and had put on a little make up and did my hair. Then I dabbed a little Poison (which he said he liked) in key spots. I made him his favorite dinner and drank a glass of wine; well I had wine, he had a beer. We were watching a little tv while we ate dessert and while I cleaned up, he fell asleep! So I woke him up to tell him it was time for bed and removed my robe and he followed me to the bedroom and said goodnight and went to bed. The next morning, he said sorry...he was just too tired.

I have given him many opportunities to get out of the marriage peacefully if that is what he really wanted, but he said no...that he loved me. Now tell me that wouldn't confuse anyone. I tried to get him into couples therapy, but after one session he gave it up.

I feel that I have done all I can and unfortunately it is negatively effecting my attitude towards him. I really do want to make it work, but when do you say that's it? And how do you say that's it?

* *

[archer]

Oh MY F*CKING GOD!! you really are being deprived!!! you really need a change!! i dont see any reason for him falling asleep after all that effort you put into that anniversary. he just seems so selfish and doesnt even care bout one thing you do!

trust me, he can say i love you a million times but it means nothing compared to one sweet action that will make you smile. move on, get rid of him! the longer you stay with him the more it'll hurt!

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

i totally agree with the last person who posted, luv... you don't seem all that happy and from other post i've seen its like.. being married is your "chore" but i duno.. just best of luck to you and i hope you figure out what you need to do. in time