Marriage

[liloldme]

Marriage. To me it seems a little over-rated, then again, I'm not really a huge fan of the church. I am very much a non christian-a pagan in fact- but I still have utmost respect for the church and any religion. The problem I have is that christian marriage is a legally recognised 'Status'. (sorry) If the time and the person were right, I would be hand-fasted, which is a pagan marriage ritual, however this would leave me with absolutely no legal standing, although pretty much the same is involved as in a christian marriage. If a union of one religion can change the status of two people so much. then why not of other religions. It makes no sense.

[?wiseman?]

It's not uncommon, in this day and age, for a woman to keep her maiden name for any variety of reasons. With that said, I think your girlfriend's reason is childish and spiteful.

[Hello]

to all concerned, marriage should not be about religion, it should be about commitment, it isnt neccesary for commitment, but it is a means of saying to the world, hey this is the pertson i love and cherish, accept that and evrything we do. too may people do not acceot a relationship as being a commited relationship if therir is no marriage, and this is wrong, this is a relict of a decadent ,and hopefullyu soon liong gone past ,of religious beleifs. as much as i accept that some people need religion, i beleieve that no one should feel that some "god" controls them, they ar e all in control of their owen life, but so many people are unwilling top accept this responsibility that they turn to a mythical and in my opinion completly non exoistent god to resolve their lack of responsibilty. religion is a path for those that require a lack of responsibility, if u think ypurself responsible for your own actionas then you would realise that any relgion, including paganism, is merely a way of a few people controlling hte many, and a deferring responsibilty to a relgion.
atr the end of the day, marriage is outdated, and many peopl marry just becausee tehir religion tells them to, their parents tell them to or society in general (mainly backoing a defunct religious standing) tell them to. and this is very wrong, marriage is just a decision between 2 people that love each other, trying to prove to the world that they lkove each other, not trying to prove that they do as their religion or familly ask of them

[sexykittymaster]

Ok everyone, ready for the real answer... Just kidding, and that's the point I'm trying to make. Marriage is, first and foremost about committment and communication. After that, it's what you make it. There is no template, no one way to do it. A truly happy couple should know each other in and out first, and when they decide to tie the knot, can make the marriage work anyway they want, by their rules.
Marriage can be quite frightening, but loving and trusting that person will allow you to speak about your fears. This has to be able to happen. Otherwise you will boil over inside like and old steam kettle, and a meltdown will most surely occur.
Marriage is not old fashion, in fact, it's quite in vogue, and always will be. Two people who love each other will feel the desire to cement their bond. I mean, take a hard look at the statistics. You always hear that 50% of marriages will fail. But take another look at that statement, and you will see that 50% of marriages succeed. Isn't that what we need to hear? Marriage is a wonderful, time-tested institution that will work if you love your partner, communicate with them and want it to work.

[sXePunk]

I kind of agree with you (the first post of this topic(. I think you should marry the one person you can't live without...not the person you think you can live with. I'm not having sex until marraige. So what am I doing here? Yes it's stupid I know, but sex is still a big thing to me, and I really get horny and tempted, so I ease it by learning things to benefit me later if you get me. Yeah...

[cool macs]

sXe Punk,

Marriage is a two way street, and it is also a LONG street. The problem with what you wrote is that it is only taking one persons feelings into consideration. The other thing you are missing in what you wrote is that people change.

2 people can be perfect for each other for 20 years. But after 20 years, your goals and visions in life change, and the person who was perfect for you before, no longer is. No one has to do anything wrong, it is possible to just split down different paths.

Life is all about discovery and understanding. As you live your life, you see things in different light. You learn more about yourself, and the people around you, and your values may change.

Marriage is all about being together forever, through the thick and thin... Although its comforting to think that someone is going to be there for you when you are old and feable, you shouldn't expect someone else to sacrifice their happiness in exchange for yours. Especially NOT in terms of a WRITTEN contract.

If you find a love that is that strong, you don't need documents, ceremeonies, or even words to describe it. Just let it flourish and enjoy it.

[LovinIt]

I lived with a man for 10 years before we decided to go our separate ways. I decided at the end of that relationship, that I would never live together again - marriage or nothing.

Why?

My first relationship became long-term not because of an explicit commitment or a choice to be long-term; it became long-term by default. After 10 years, I realized that this was not the person I really wanted to be with and that I was not really committed to the relationship. And yet, it was comfortable and could easily have lasted another 10 or 20 years.

In my current relationship, I made a decision - this is the person I want to be with and I am committed to making this relationship long-term. It's a very different feeling to decide to be with a partner than it is to just be with a partner.

I love being married and recommend it highly. It makes the lows easier to get through and it makes the highs more wonderful.

[oberon]

It must be nice to have the choice.

My cynical comment for the day.