Communication and providing feedback are two key ingredients to a successful relationship, including the romantic aspect. You are off to a good start, however, I believe you should be talking with him about the importance of this matter and why you need him to participate in your fantasies just like it is important for him to have you participate in his subject matter.

It is important for him to understand that making love (including this watching of videos) is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership.

Ok, this is MY take on this - and please don't shoot the messenger.

Why in the hell would he want to watch porn when he has the real thing to make love to??

Porn, at least in my case, almost destroyed my relationship with my now fiance' and I no longer watch it.

You got tired of pornography?

Of course, you did, because let's be honest: it isn't anything near as good as the real thing with a real live partner (and humans endlessly grow and evolve so trying to get with your partner is trying to embrace a moving target hence intriguing) AND most of what's out there is, in fact, boring.

Which is a part of why you're now watching m/m pornography without your husband (who might be watching the same thing) - it is new and different but see how far into pornography you've come...from f/m to f/f and now m/m - what's next? Kangaroos??

Talk to your husband.

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;259492]what's next? Kangaroos??
[/QUOTE]

I don't dare do a google search, but is that really out there? Is it even physically possible?

I've never watched porn with my wife, so I don't know what that side of things looks like, but I have enjoyed porn alone for a majority of my thus far short life. It wasn't always a guilty, shameful pleasure, but it is now. How frequently is he watching on his own? It almost seems like the porn is becoming a substitute for intimacy, rather than an accessory to it. I ask because that is what porn has been for me far too often. I turn to porn when I am depressed, and have too low self esteem to feel intimate. On another note, what you may be experiencing, from my rather novice viewpoint, is an escalation in your porn viewing habits. The "normal" stuff has become too standard, too "vanilla" for you. You are looking to add some chocolate, strawberry and maybe a little moose tracks to your porn repertoire. Half of what is appealing about pornography (or somewhere closer to 70-90%) is the novelty and shock value of the pornography. And EEK is right; what is next? Believe me, the rabbit hole goes pretty deep. And for those sick pervs out there who just thought of that as a reference to something other than Alice in Wonderland, get your minds out of the gutter...

Having mentioned your escalation in porn viewing provided me with an epiphany. It is possible your husband came across something that piqued his interests, but may be something he is too ashamed to share with you, that has driven him to become more guarded with his pornography intake. I feel like there are things out there that, if my wife were open to porn, I would feel comfortable watching with her, and then there are a good number of things I'd feign disgust with in front of her, but go back and review later on, if only for that aforementioned shock value. It may or may not be worth asking about.

[QUOTE=pennycandy;259469]I have been married for 21 years. Both my husband and I enjoy watching porn. The problem is that over the last year he hasn't wanted to watch with me, but he still does watch it. I found a great porn web site and showed it to him. He has no interest in it. Now I am afraid to tell him that the male/male clips really turn me on. I think he will be jealous and I don't want to make him feel like I want another man. I just get tired of watching m/f and f/f porn. Any advice on how to handle this situation?[/QUOTE]

He's masturbating when you're not around.

[QUOTE=jjurgy;260660]He's masturbating when you're not around.[/QUOTE]

Dont think there is too much wrong with masturbating when the wife is out. I am sure both sexes in long term relationships enjoy pleasureable times when we are alone.

of course! Stop over-thinking this.

I sometimes watch porn with my wife in fact, she is the one with the DVDs when we got married. I like it because at times it will send a quicker erection. My wife likes to jump right into it and at my age (51), it takes a little foreplay.

Sometimes while it is on the tv, I will be between her legs and look up at her watching the tv and rubbing her breasts. Ithink it great she gets so excited watching it.

Porn is just like any other form of entertainment; it brings a sense of feeling good! The problem with porn is that it's all fantasy... If not careful, the porn will diminish the level of excitement you experience with your wife or husband!

Porn can be a good change of pace in a long term relationship but only in moderation... nothing beats the real thing!

@ pennycandy I suggest you and your husband arrange more one to one time and try to rekindle the fire between each other. Between you or him; somebody has to step up & address this issue before it's too late.

My husband used to like to watch porn,but it was not my thing.He usually watched it late at night when the kids and i were in bed.If i had a new partner and he wanted to watch porn with me i might give it a go.I think it depends on the type of porn too as my husband was into stuff that i just did not like or find sexually arousing

This is something that I'm still learning new move to make it fun.

My wife and I have never watched porn togther, but we always buy each other gifts from the adult stores to spice things up, like handcuffs, blindfolds, dirty dice. Anything that will spice up the monotony of the relationship. Personally I love the dice, it is a win for both win when one die says kiss and the other says pussy

I have been in a relationship for 6yrs everything can be going great in the sex department.. but there is them moments. personally i dont care to watch porn and we have tried but i cant get into it. I dont mind him lookin at porn online cause thats his thing and always was. But nights were i just want to go to bed he will be lookin online at porn and get his self all excited and come over to me and try to get laid.. if i tell him no ohe gets pissed and starts fighting with me so i usually give in just so he stops bitchin.. But on valentines day this year we really didnt do anything with each other he did his own thing and i was with the kid. when it startetd getting late i said about us having sex and he completely ignored me and sat on the computer. He asked if he could watch some porn while having sex and i tole him not really cause it dont do anything for me and even puts me not in the mood.. but i told him while i gave him oral he could but going to have sex i wanted it off.. well he refused to turn it off i didnt say anything and everytime i would say somthing dirty and ask him to grab myt hair or pound my pussy he would just be watching the porn and didnt pay any attention to my needs just what he wanted to get hiself off.. and before u knew it , it was over before it started.. he didnt make any eye contact with me and made me feel like shit.. so i got bumded out n he knew it.. well i ended up goin to bed unsatifised and still horny.. the next day came around and i said about us have ing sex since it was so short the day before.. all day he said yea and was sending each other dirty texts.. then after i putthe kid to bed he again wanted nothing to do with me. so i went upstairs to tak care of my self and he fliupped out i asked him to join me and again wanted nothin to do with it. i even started playin with myself in fron tof him and he didnt budge.. not he is wondering why i am being a bitch today and not talkin to him even one word or give him a kiss and he threw his cock in my face like nothin was wrong and told me to suck on his dick and i walked away form him.. what the hell can i do for him to make him want me the way he used to and i want him.. i love giving him head and he knows it and he is an ass man and i let him pound my ass all the time too cuse i enjoy it just as much.. but the spark aint there anymore and it seems like to him its a chore.. unless he wants it then its differnt.. if i sugested sex i always get turned down like it only happens if it son his time?!!

You can tell him specifically - "I have for the past two nights gone to bed unsatisfied while you decided that watching your pornography was more important than fulfilling the needs of the very real woman standing right next to you. THAT'S why I am angry."

You then ask him "How would you feel if I'd rather masturbate while watching some hunk than have sex with you?"

BTW - no more 'appeasement' sex -sex just to shut him up - either you two come to sex with fire in your eyes and desire for each other in your hearts or you don't go there at all.

My wife and I both like to pop a porn DVD in when we are alone in the afternoon in bed. We always end up watching it for only a couple minutes and then we find ourselves all over each other.

my wife and I enjoy a little porn from time to time, but it's not really something she's overly into, but something we enjoy together. When I updated some of out selections to DVD, I picked up a couple of videos that had more f/f/m segments in them, and one that was all lesbian sex. When we popped it in and watched the lesbian video, about 20 minutes into is, she looked at the sace and realized what it was. I played dumb, but her arguement was that I wouldn't want to watch two guys any more than she enjoyed the f/f video. I got the point and it went to the bottom of the stack.

I enjoy watching porn with my wife; we trade websites like baseball cards. After watching the clips, we try out it out in the bed room. I look at porn like this...a lawyer goes into a court room with notes to remind himself of the main point in the case...in this case porn. It is just reminding me of old things that worked in the past and giving me new ideas to play with in the future. Always trying to win the case and get a great payoff.