thought you might find this intresting/funny http://kontraband.com/wordsview.asp?ID=148

Alrite....i havent read every single post but from wut i have seen, it seems like a lot of people r being stereotypical kinda.
first of all....saying that all women dont care about their partnerz pleasure as much as their own is not true. i dont know about other women, but the women in my family think equally.
secondly, if a guy wants to be vocal....he can. i would think that if his partner enjoys it, he should actually at least try to get more into it. i mean...i hear a lot about women faking orgasms on their first time . but im not sayin they have to fake it, just get a little more into it and start to really FEEL the pleasure....maybe it'll work
im just saying that people shouldnt try to say that all women think this, or all men do that.
everyone is different and i think that if there is communication between partners, there could be an agreement.

just thought i'd comment.

Women love vocal men in bed. One of my old b/f's used to tell me in a very soft coaxing way, "come for me baby, come on, you can do it..etc" and Oh Man did that drive me f*n nuts!!!! Guys always want to know ways to please their woman, well, there's a big one for ya. Let it out, Men!!

i love it when guys moan and grunt it is SOOOO a turn on... and i would like guys to expresss it then being " macho " and covering it up... let it go dude...

Well Im a guy, and Ill admit that I moan and groan a fair bit during sexual stuff. I dont even have to fake it really, I just do it.

And Im glad I do, because it turns my girlfriend on like theres no tomorrow.

I really dont have any issues with doing it, I dont feel weird or like Ill sound stupid....I just go with the flow.

I realize that many men don't like to but I'm just saying that some women like myself will not be turned on by such a man. I don't want a man faking it either. I'm 100% sure that my man is not faking it with me! Sometimes you just can't control it because the sex is that good.

The thing is, men don't like to moan, if you want them to moan, they'll have to fake it.

But if men were really feeling the pleasure, they would just breathe real hard and say "oh, that's feels good" and all that like an above user said...

Other than that, men just fake moan to drive the woman wild.

There are probably many reasons why men try to keep quiet during sex. I too love it when a man talks dirty and moans and groans during sex because it lets me know that I'm doing a good job. The guy I'm dating now is the first guy I've been with who does all of that and it's great! It's so damn sexy to me that I hardly know what to do with myself. To any guys reading this.....don't be afraid to let go, talk dirty to your girl, and get loud sometimes. It's one of the best parts of sex in my opinion.

I make more noise when it's OK to do so. It's almost hypnotic when you can let loose. Sounds are all part of the excitement of sex. Plus there's the sweatiness, the smells and making someone else happy.

http://frequentflyer.blogspot.com/

Interesting topic! I wonder if some of this is "programmed" into us guys... We think women like the "strong silent types."

Since I'm not terribly strong, I have to be awfully quiet. LOL

Seriously, the myth, the stereotypical thing has always been that the guy is supposed to "get the woman ready," etc. He just kinda gets his kicks along the way. As such, it's not important for him to express his pleasure. He's supposed to be concentrating.

The woman, of course, is supposed to help him know just where he is on the path to Mount O.

Now I didn't say I believed this, but it has a logical ring.

If, back when all these ideas were formed (who decides this shit, anyway?), there had been a bunch of women like you that have posted here: women who believe their man's pleasure is as important as their own... Well, things might be different.

And, thanks to your efforts, someday things will be different.

Wally

yeah i really wish guys would be more vocal... i do think its a big shyness issue though. My guy is finally getting the hang of it... he still doesn't groan or grunt like i wish he would but he is starting to become less shy like sighing heavier and talking dirty more. ( god i love it when he does that!) i think talking dirty turns me on more than anything.

My hubby is somewhat vocal but no moaning or groaning just telling me how good it feels and ohhhhs and ahhhs. OH and the dirty talk gotta love that! It seems like we've both become more vocal over the past 3-4years. I'd definately have to say though that women are more vocal than men are. Do you think though that that has to do with them wanting us to moan and groan and coaxing us to do this for Them because it turns them on? Once we've started it's really hard not to it just becomes part of our sex life I think. If we were to coax and keep asking them to moan and groan do you think that eventually they'd start to?

Can i be an Adjunct Professor for that class?

Maybe they are just shy or think only the woman should be making noise.

I RECKON!! And it feels like we're having all the fun, but then when we dont get enough feedback, we lose the fun then they have at all! hahaha

Let's organize some "male communications in bed" classes, i'm sure all us women here would be great teachers!

I KNOW!! me too. *thinks*.. we gotta find a way to help these men.. LOL figure its OK to do that.. cause we love it... but yea i know what you mean, you want them to moan and stuff so you know if your doing somethign right.. but when its all silent.. either its a good thing.. or abad thing LAUGHS

jamie

Simple answer: men, on average, are not as vocal as women.

my b/f talks dirty and tells me it feels good but as far as moans and grunts he's pretty quiet in that area.
he likes me to talk dirty but i find sometimes it just distracts me for some reason.

rawbob, i duno.. thats how I AM in bed.. usally.. but he isnt at all.. like that..he usally watches me like hes doing all thew ork :P lol ya know?

jamie

Hmm, I don't know... I don't think its shyness that is causing men not to be vocal. Perhaps they just do not feel the urge to do so - it just does not feel natural and doing so would feel fake for the man concerned?

I can't speak from proper experience, but when masturbating I never feel the slightest urge to grunt, etc. even though I am alone and have no cause whatsoever to be shy in such a situation. I think this may account for men's 'silence' in proper relationships too. Most likely, however, if you mention that you like it, most men will do it to please you, but it is not something they would do spontaneously (at least I would not)...

Well, i know how you feel< I LOVE IT!! gebus guys.. LISTEN TO US lol WE LUUUUUVVV it.. LOL sometimes too.. when you dont it makes us wanna be quiet... i duno about you but if he gets going so do i. but sometimes he will do it.. and *drool* other times.. hes very quiet.. but alot of the time i ask him to do it.. and when he does.. i start doing other things to bring it out more.. lol see guys? :P wouldnt you like to see what your girl could do.. ALL by using your voice :P and breathing is great, but around the ears.. but i'd rather the guy moan.. or something or just EXpress it in someway. cause you know... sometimes GUYS :P its like we know you are enjoying it.. but arent sure.. so it makes us shy.. and kinda like.. "well.. ok?"
I thought i would add that.. :P

Jamie

With my ex-bf, we were going out for nearly 2 years. Our sex life was amazing.

It was only within the last, say, 6 months that he actually started coming around and doing the whole "breathe hard, moan" here and there, the "oh yeh's" (but only quietly).

I wondered the exact same thing, let me tell you, and being the person that i am, i let the whole world know when he'd hit a good spot.

I think that he was always "shy" in bed so to speak. I was the only woman he has ever felt truely comfortable with in ALL aspects, not just sex alone. A lot of men i've even heard of have been the same, and enjoy the women's part of the noise and never really express it themselves. They tend to feel "embarrassed" or incase they sound "stupid". As i mentioned, it was only in approx. the last 6 months of our relationship that my ex started making noise and DAMN did it turn me on even more, truely amazing. So all in all, it's a self-concious thing. Eventually, they will grow out of it. It may take years for them to finally express it despite the relationship status, and it will only be with a woman they truely feel comfortable with.

my guy is a heavy breather and a sigher when i'm giving him a blowjob. he's also a "god that feels good" person.
he grunts and breathes hard some more when he cums too.
it's all soft though. never loud. and i find it majorily sexy and such a turn on.

I've reflected quite a bit on this....and i've come to some interesting, self-revealing, and hopefully NOT TOO controversial realities.

I think we can all agree that no matter your orientation, usually the first few sexual events had more "overt expressions" of what was going on - even if they may have been a bit forced. We all want our partners to THINK they are bringing us pleasure.

That said, i looked back and compared how i acted and "expressed myself vocally" during sex...and here's what i came up with:

Active vs. Passive Vocalization
Active Vocalization: I know for me, that as a TOP, during sex, i'm taking the active role. I'm DOING something to someone - be it vaginal, oral or anal sex, i am the one bringing the pleasure to my partner. Because of that, i'm more focused on GIVING the pleasure and listening for feedback from my partner by what he/she says or does while i'mi doing it. So, if i'm in the missionary position and i'm doing my thing, i'm usually watching my partner for visual signs that i'm doing ok, and also verbal signs that indeed i'm pleasuring him/her. Because of that, i'm most often NOT going to be overly verbal, other than the typical "My god you feel good, this feels incredible, is this good for you, etc". Add to this, the TOP or ACTIVE role is usually much more of a physical position and the ANXIETY factor that goes on with every TOP/ACTIVE person..the age old question, "I wonder if he/she's enjoying this" or "I hope this feels good" etc.

Passive Vocalization: If you take the prior position, and reverse it, you have the Bottom or PASSIVE role. When i'm laying back and my parter is in the TOP or Active role, i am then free to relax and focus on what is being done to me by my partner. I find myself being MUCH MORE verbally and physically expressive when i'm in the bottom/passive position. I love giving feedback to my partner about what he/she is doing and how wonderful it feels, or what i want more or less of. It really is amazing when i look back, and even when i talk to my partner about our sex, he says, Yep...no doubt, when you're on the bottom (passive) you get to really focus on whats happening.

So, the bottom line for me, is that "switching" alot during love making is KEY to keeping everyone verbally engaged. Gals, if you're always receiving sex, try and slow things down, and roll over and YOU do something. Make HIM lay still and you lick his nipples, or french kiss his bellybutton, or lick that very SENSATIVE spot on a man between his scrotum and anus (trust me, he may squirm at first, but licking down there will drive him crazy).

If you want to be more, or get more vocalization from yourself and your partner - switch it up! Don't be a prude! And for all you str8 gals - if you want to see your hubby be expressive? Blindfold him, and give him a prostate massage! You'll hear him say and do things he's NEVER done before - and he'll love you for it!