I have one more book to burn. It's the (old) one that states that there are just as many nerve endings in the tip of the clitoris as there are in the head of a penis. Apparently, this is outdated information.
I am watching "The Anatomy of Sex" program on the Discovery channel and it just stated that there are 8,000 nerves in the tip of the clitoris compared to 4,000 in the Glans. Think about how compact they are bundled compared to those in the Glans and no wonder a woman complains about her clitoris becoming too sensitive to touch directly when very highly aroused.
I still maintain that if given a choice, men are much better off being uncircumcised because there are more nerves involved and those of the Glans are much more sensitive.
I know the clit is real sensitive and all, but my guy tends to, well, I don't want to say rough but thats about the only way I can describe it...its like he's going and then he just starts hitting a bone or something down there an dit hurts....he's suppose to keep a light touch but gentle pressure, right?
...I don't know if this has anything to do with nerve endings but I figured where the Hell else to post it...
> its like he's going and then he just starts hitting a bone or something down there an dit hurts....he's suppose to keep a light touch but gentle pressure, right?
I like to use the answer: "whatever works". In order to describe "what works" to another person requires one and/or two things. First, I urge each of you demonstrate "what works" by masturbating for your partner; second, to teach each other the "fine art" of "what works". This requires some explanation.
We all understand the basic mechanics involved in fingering a clitoris or stroking a penis; however, shortly after we all begin masturbating, we develop a specific set of rhythms, motions, and, pressures, that are unique and specific to each one of us and that we come to rely upon to bring about an orgasm. If we miss the mark then we will either not trigger an orgasm or the resulting one will be less than hoped for. Each person is responsible for their own orgasms; we do not give them away to our partner.** All any of us can do is to help our partner achieve his/her own orgasm. To do this best, we need to understand how s/he stimulates themself when alone.
In order to do this, I recommend that you take your partner's fingers/hand in yours and guide his movements several times until he learns to mimic your specific movements and methods. The same works for you with him. Equally important as this is, so too is the need for feedback. When we pleasure ourselves we have the benefit of modulating our movements and making any midcourse corrections on the fly based upon what we feel happening moment to moment. When we turn this over to someone else they have no way of knowing what must be done unless we communicate how we are responding to their touch and for what we may need--now. This can be done both verbally and non-verbally. Verbal cues can be a word or other utternance that conveys a specific meaning, such as "wow", "whew", "moaning", "stop!, "don't stop", "more", more-more-more", "yes" "do it here", etc. Non-verbal can be a squeeze of the hand or some other form of body english that the two of you work out to convey specific meaning(s).
As for maintaining a light touch and gentle pressure, I'd say that this is generally true; however, you may or may not want direct involvement of your clitoris. It is my understanding that while women enjoy having the clitoris stimulated directly, it is not something that is ongoing and longterm. The clitoris often becomes overly stimulated and thus painful when touched. When this phenomenon occurs, the man is best advised to switch tactics and to either continue stimulating the clitoris, although by folding the inner lips over the clitoris and stimulating it through them; or, by rubbing the shaft of the clitoris that resides beneath the skin and between the folds of the upper vulva. In addition, indirect involvement is often appreciated by gently kneeding or tugging on the labia and fingering one or both along with the surrounding area. Here, again, it's whatever works and you should know what works and then be able to teach these techniques to your partner.
** Before you can do this, it is imperative that you and every other woman make the transition from being "preorgasmic". You must be able to masturbate regularly and reliably to orgasm before you can expect to achieve an orgasm at your partner's hand, or to be able to teach him how to bring you to the brink and beyond. Without this knowledge, and without benefit of feedback, all any of us can hope for is a 50/50 chance of being right. With something so important who among us wants this as a batting average?
Making love should be a partnership. Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other. Teach each other, learn together, explore and experiment.
I hope this long-winded reply is of help. Got questions?
Keep spreading the owrd, Doc. We women have all, at one time or another, had battered clitoris syndrome. Young men guided away from sticking something in us, which they assume we want, than pound away on us like they were doing themselves! More than one date has ended early ..... without another one scheduled.
Thank you. I'm sure I'll keep peating and repeating.
[COLOR="Magenta">[COLOR="Red">Is it possible to make this thread a sticky?[/COLOR][/COLOR]
Ive always gone down on a girl as though i was eating and savouring an ice-cream, ive always gone for the gentle soft approach. But this isnt enough, i lack finding the crucial points of stimulation and thats why it takes my gf up to 2hours sometimes but with some comunication we will get there.
Regarding "Battered Clitoris Syndrome"
I have been searching for a post, or any information on something like this... (this is my first post here). During any sort of intimacy, I cannot have my clitoris touched directly. Even the slightest glance of my hubby's hand is like a shock - and not in a good way. He had partners before we were married and he said none ever complained of anything like that before, and I can't find any information anywhere - am I an abberation?
Battered clitoris syndrome is a made-up word for the purpose of this thread. There is no such diagnosis. Nonetheless, every women I know has had at least one man who has "overdone" it.
You are not an abberation. Many women have this issue. I, for one, cannot tolerate friction directly on the clitoris. Most of us enjoy movement of the hood over the clitori but not touching the clitoris itself. In Chick Chat the thread on Female Sexual Response describes stage of sexual arousal. AT some point, most of our clits, while still erect, actually retract into our bodies. That is when it is getting very sensitive and orgasm is approaching. If the clitoris is touched at this point, it can be very painful.
The two of you need to work out signals and understanding of what your body is doing. Perhaps limit his contact to the vulva. A whole hand pressed onto the vulva and moved preoperly is sufficient for many of us and no separation of the labia is needed to stimulate the clitoris.
We are each different and a major assumption among men is what was good for one will be enjoyed by us all. Not so.