My boyfriend has recently put on a lot of weight and he has become increasingly embarrassed and not comfortable with his body..
He often rejects me slowly taking off his clothes and sometimes hugs me during sex so that I do not see his body..
But what he doesn't understand is that I love his body and still find is sooo sexy!!
What can I do to him to make him realise that im so turned on by him?
Are there any rubbing techniques, any certain parts of his body I should touch or things to say to him???
Please help!!
Communication - Talking to the guy about his concerns, your feelings, and the current situation will help to assuage problems on both sides. Maybe you can explain how you're still entirely turned on while he can describe why he's having difficulty accepted his current physical condition.
We all have our own mental image of what we should look like and how our current body compares to that. If this is the most he's weighed in a while, it might be difficult for him to accept that he doesn't look like "himself." Maybe he just needs to mentally disengage from his body for a little while by not putting any more pressure on himself. Sex with the lights off might be a little thing that could make a difference to him right now.
Find, read, and then do the sticky posts The Program and Body Worship. If he protests, growl at him and then, with a grin, tell him he's 'delicious' - then continue to enjoy him.
THEN you can talk about it. I find that a demonstration of just exactly how desireable you find him to be more effective than just words alone.
EvilEvilKitten nailed it with what she about demonstrating that desire. Everybody needs that, man and woman and it's up to you both as a couple to constantly assure one another of your feelings of attraction. This goes way before you start to have sex too. Just tell him what a strong, sensual, specimen of man he is, and you keep that in mind and all the things you love about him as you caress him, kiss him all over, committing every part to memory. And when he's pleasuring you, you let him know what a stud he is...just speaking for myself but I can't imagine any guy ever not wanting to hear how good he's ravaging his lady with pleasures. But don't fake it, loud porn type screams...unless you really vocalize yourself that way, just be natural and really into him. If that don't make him feel like the man, it's not your fault. You just really be yourself and if he can't accept how you feel about him past his own self-image, that's a selfish vanity, something he has internalized and has to get over. He just has to let go and accept himself for who he is...he probably more afraid that he will continue to gain weight and fears losing you down the road because of it. All you can do is assure him that you love him...maybe he's not worth that love though, if he fears you would leave him for continuing to gain weight, perhaps it's because he feels that way about you? But it's really hard to say unless you communicate these feelings together.
It is the small gestures that mean so much - yes, to men too.
I reached out tonight and lightly scritched my lover's chest hair as revealed by the undone top two buttons on his shirt.
Snuggling up together to watch television. Gently caressing his rump in passing. placing your cheek against the top of his head and purrrrring at him when he's sitting at the table - you know, small intimate gestures indicative of attraction and affection.
For those of you who don't say much.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;256405]It is the small gestures that mean so much - yes, to men too.
I reached out tonight and lightly scritched my lover's chest hair as revealed by the undone top two buttons on his shirt.
Snuggling up together to watch television. Gently caressing his rump in passing. placing your cheek against the top of his head and purrrrring at him when he's sitting at the table - you know, small intimate gestures indicative of attraction and affection.
For those of you who don't say much.[/QUOTE]
That kind of stuff means way more than words ever could