Tessie, I'm a little confused (at least act surprised!). You don't want anal performed on you, or you don't want to do it to him?
If the latter, I can suggest a few thing to make it more comfortable for you. First, as I said in a previous post, a warm water enema beforehand can make sure everything is nice and clean (I mean, after all, you women have to douche, too, right?) You can also use latex gloves- sort of a condom for the hand. One more thing: dildos come in all sizes, so you might get a few and use those. Some women even like using a strap-on- they actually get to experience being the "dominant" partner. The longer two headed variety can even be used on both of you at once.
The most important thing to remember is have fun. If it's not fun, then don't do it.
Not to freak any of you out but I'm married and quite straight and find anal stimulation quite intriguing. I go as far as finding certain things to penetrate with. Maybe looking with a little more patience when in the produce isle.
I've never been comfortable with sharing information like this but I don't understand why I feel so compelled to do these things. I mean, just the simple thought of it really turns me on.
I like to do it myself and have never told my wife about it. I think that it would freak her out. But yes, I find it quite stimulating.
Tessie I'd have to say that I feel the same way. I'm curious but maybe subcontiously a little grossed out and also affraid that it'll hurt). Maybe I might of thought about it more before going through labor but now it just may hurt more than I would like. Maybe it's all in my imagination. I'm pretty well open to lots of things and open in our sex life. Just not sure if this is one area I will be or not.
LOL ok TexasGuy I might just give it try. I would love to really surprise him and blow his mind.
My natural tendencey is to be submissive and he just loves it if I go against myself and be bold and aggressive.
Nothing more fun then doing something that he never thought I would do.
Two years ago I would have said it sounded disgusting, but now I have to tell you that we both love and engage in it about 20% of the time we make love. Nothing too major, mind you, and never very deep... a well-lubed finger or two, or maybe just the tip of the head of my penis or a vibrator. The sensation, once you get over the initial hesitation, is intense and really adds to an orgasm.
My wife did let me try f***ing her in her ass once a few years ago, but it hurt her too much and so we stopped right away.
But like the other person said, you have to do it in small increments... a little in, a little out, a little more in, etc.
So c'mon, Tess... try it, you'll like it! Break that last frontier!!
My hubby has wanted this forever and I know it and still I resit going there. I don't know what it is. He is extremely clean and we have a very open sex life so I don't know what it is that holds me back from doing it. Well I do sort of think its gross. I think its gross if he wants to do it to me. Although I can give into that easier then me.
I want to open up more sexually and this has really been bugging me. Maybe its not knowing what to do or for how long to do it. It is the last virgin territory that we haven't really done, so to speak.
As a gay male I find all the hoopla about this topic somewhat amusing. Most of the trouble seems to stem from misinformation and sociological ideals.
Anal sex does not "make" anyone gay.
Normally the rectum is free of fecal matter; however, a warm water enema beforehand can make certain and make the participants a little more comfortable with the idea. It also has the advantage of "warming things up".
The "well lubricated" finger is most important, but as important is to remember to go slowly-especially for someone unuse to this experience. Half steps and retreat, a little deeper over time. The more relaxed you are with your partner the easier all of this is. You can always work up to more fingers, and deeper insertion if you find you enjoy anal stimulation.
The MOST important thing to remember is that if you truly don't enjoy anal play- DON'T DO IT. Believe it or not, there are gay men who don't enjoy it- the whole "you're not putting anything 'in there'" attitude. Sex is suppose to be fun, and if what you are doing isn't, change what you are doing.
Anal play is awesome..........feels great. I'm a bi-guy and love it from men as well as women....You just have to get over the "gay" thing and enjoy the feeling......Great orgasms!
I have recieved anal from g/f on many occasions with various toys. I enjoy this you do get used to the pain. And getting the rim licked is an amazing feeling.
I love anal play while other things are happening, i believe the wife dont realy want to perform it but she like to hear me moan and boy does that make me moan
Never really thought about it before... being a guy & all...
Oddly enough... last night was a little surprising.
Nothing drastic or major... just subtle. We had been "going at it" for a little while... many different things... she's mostly conservative, but slowly opening up. ANYHOW... things were getting close to winding-down... since i'm getting older, it's getting near impossible to do the 4-Hr/6-Hr marathon sex-fests from days of old. We had been going at it for just over an hour and I figured she was getting tired (possibly sore by now) and we had mixed it up pretty well... she had experienced... ummm... dozens(?) of orgasms... 1/2 of them ejaculatory... and I was getting ready to hit the last home stretch to reach my own orgasm.
We switched-up to where she was laying on her back, knees bent... missionary-esque and I was lying on my side, penetrating her... as if for us to make an upper-case "T". Her legs drape over my torso and legs as we engage this way.
Now, we occasionally change how we interlock the legs... and last night, as I placed my upper leg over her belly & chest... she was thrusting around and writhing. At one point, her foot grazed along the exposed crack of my behind and brushed-along the "Forbidden-Zone" (Heheheh...)
HOLY CRAP! Why did THAT feel good...? I kinda gasped a little in surprise that I liked it... she picked-up on the cue and started rubbing my ass with her foot... I think she must have felt how much it stiffened my now-tiring erection...
For some reason... it felt UN#%$&*ING BELIEVABLE...!
But now... I hope she doesn't think that's too kinky or that touching that area is "gross"... not as if I think I "need" that ever again, but it WAS very intruiging(sp?) We'll see if this turns into anything further.
Hmm...Maybe I should have read this before I posted a topic about the male G-spot. LOL. But there seems to be mixed feelings about the whole anal stimulation thing for guys and girls.
I, personally, do not mind anal play. It kind of happened on accident, after my man "slipped" and OMG it hurt something terrible. He was soo excited after that and kept talking about how he would love to try it. He's an ass man. So we talked about it. Using a condom was an absolute must. But in order for a woman to enjoy it thoroughly, there has to be a huge amount of trust in her partner and LOTS of communication both before and during. He was quite gentle and kept asking me if it hurt, which it did at first; but felt much better after I got my vibrator out. OMG it was great. We do it every once in a while, but never spur of the moment. It's always something that we discuss doing before, as preparation is essential for hygenic reasons.
As for him, hmm...this has been a topic that HE actually brought up. I do stimulate his prostate via his perineum during BJs and he has said that I give the best head ever..HEHEHE. So, I went out, purchased some small anal beads and am waiting for the right time to try them. He is just as excited as I am. I don't necessarily find the act of anal play a HUGE turn-on. But what does turn me on is the idea that I can give him a mind blowing orgasm..to reciprocate the mind blowing orgasms he gives me.
The biggest thing I can stress whether you are giving or receiving is lots of commuincation. If you don't like it, don't try it. Educate yourself. Sex is not merely an act..the more you know and understand, the better you will be at performing and that works both ways.
I want to try exploring that with my boyfriend. he's acting like he wouldn't want it, you know the typical guy act. ugh
I agree, it's great! I seem to cum a lot harder when her finger is playing around back there. She brought it up one night without asking, and I have loved it ever sense.
I stimulated my husband's prostate one night in bed- I was sucking him off and I put my finger in there, about 2 inches and kept stroking it.
He was moaning like I've never heard before, he LOVED it. When he ejaculated, he held my head down and so much cum was coming out I was unable to swallow it all and it was leaking out the sides of my mouth.
The squirts seemed like they were never going to stop.
My face all around my mouth was wet with semen, and he was VERY satisfied!
with anal.... take things slow with plenty of lube.
i finger my clit at the same time, man i get the most amazing rush
My boyfriend is VERY against anything around his ass at all, I'm guessing for embarassment issues, maybe? I don't know...it's just his only no-no, so I try to behave and puch the boundaries a little bit at the same time. I guess I just wonder why guys can be hesitant to try something, cuz I would LOVE to find out if that will make his orgasms even better....it's my favourite thing.
[QUOTE=Lackadaisical]My boyfriend is VERY against anything around his ass at all, I'm guessing for embarassment issues, maybe? I don't know...it's just his only no-no, so I try to behave and puch the boundaries a little bit at the same time. I guess I just wonder why guys can be hesitant to try something, cuz I would LOVE to find out if that will make his orgasms even better....it's my favourite thing.[/QUOTE]
I wonder the same thing. My BF doesn't want me to touch him anywhere near there either. In fact, every guy I have ever been with has cringed at the very thought of any kind of anal stimulation and refuses to let me do it. To be honest I am very curious and have always wanted to try it, I am not shy with exploring and wouldn't mind doing it for him to find out if he would really like it. But he keeps saying no. It's disappointing to me! I think for my BF it's embarassment issues - he keeps saying it's "dirty" and he doesn't want my hands/fingers to be "messy" or to gross me out. But I told him, as long as he washes well (which I know he does) and doesn't feel the need to go to the bathroom at that moment he should be fine. I let him do anal on me and it's never messy - so why would it be messy for me to do it to him? I assume anatomy for guys and girls is the same there. It's the only thing he absolutely WON'T do (and rimming) and I guess I just wish he'd be more open to at least trying it. How can you know you really don't like it if you never try it?
I am really interested in trying this, but have no idea how to approch it. That is to say, what do I do specifically? Any ideas? My wife is interested as well, but again, we are clueless.
[QUOTE=katiebug]I wonder the same thing. My BF doesn't want me to touch him anywhere near there either. In fact, every guy I have ever been with has cringed at the very thought of any kind of anal stimulation and refuses to let me do it. To be honest I am very curious and have always wanted to try it, I am not shy with exploring and wouldn't mind doing it for him to find out if he would really like it. But he keeps saying no. It's disappointing to me! I think for my BF it's embarassment issues - he keeps saying it's "dirty" and he doesn't want my hands/fingers to be "messy" or to gross me out. But I told him, as long as he washes well (which I know he does) and doesn't feel the need to go to the bathroom at that moment he should be fine. I let him do anal on me and it's never messy - so why would it be messy for me to do it to him? I assume anatomy for guys and girls is the same there. It's the only thing he absolutely WON'T do (and rimming) and I guess I just wish he'd be more open to at least trying it. How can you know you really don't like it if you never try it?[/QUOTE]
:eek: ROFLMAOPIMP....okay this is GOOD cuz i thought I was the only guy like the above two!!....lemmee let you ladies in on a little secret...my girlfriend has been trying to talk me into this "exploratory" as she calls it and she says i'll feel some awesome sensations...Here's where it seems difficult and it ALL has to do with the "cleanliness" part of the deed...giggles...yes yes, we can clean that "forbidden" area (LOL) and keep it very very clean from the outside..the issue that some of us have ...we can't be "sure" what is on the "other-side" of anus...yes we've cleaned the total exterior,,,but what if?? what if there some uhhhhhhhh ummmmmmm:o leftover stuff...oh gosh...this is hard to type and harder to explain...then while you ladies are doing this "exploration"...some stuff KAK??? LMAO..might get on yer finger...and the guy will JUST DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT....so I'm pretty sure we are all into trying that anal tickling/prostate massaging...BUT...there are some issues that we would totally have to be talked through! and made very comfortable about...I hope this helps...:p
Well,no offense to men but I think that's not fair at all. We can never be sure that "in there" is ALL clean, but plenty of women agree to try (or suggest trying) anal...It's not a male issue alone. I know it brings up a fear of homosexulaity, in a sense, but my boyfriend is usually quite open to things, and expects me to be (I personally am uneasy about doggy style, due to one unfortunate "queefing incident" but I try anyway, or at least agree to.). I think giving it a chance is not too much to ask for, considering what some girls will go through at a man's request.
All I've gotten himinto so far though is rubbing from the outside. He loves it, and it makes him come better than ever...but I can't convince him to let me try to get inside. It's frustrating, cuz I feel like he doesn't trust me.
As a guy, I'm interested in trying prostate massage at some point. But the "dirtiness" element bothers me so I would feel a lot more comfortable if she put on a latex glove first.
It's not that we feel we don't trust but I guess it is alittle of the homosexuailty and guy's ass's are not very clean. A girls ass is cleaner then a guys, for reasons we don't know and we don't want you getting youy fingers all dirty and stinky. I don't know, over time I will become more comfortable with it and maybe try but I don't like it now.
I would definitely want to be wearing a glove the first few times i try this with my boyfriend, because I'm nervous too...i don't know what's gonna happen, i just wanna find out.
great responses from some of the guys!!...thanks for helping out...I really don't think and I know for sure in my case it has NOTHING to do about some "gay" issue...it is the hygenic thing..and yes..as far as I've experienced, uhhhhhhhhh the female touche seems cleaner than a guys and I'll tell ya...I'm DILIGENT about the cleaning part...LOL...could say I'm anal...ROFLMAO....good idea about the latex glove idea...and geez,,,usually a females finger is gonna be smaller than the doctors....Mooooooooooon River......hey doc...was it as good for you as it was for me???:eek:
To the guys afraid of what might be in there:
You should look at this just like anyother part of your body. Just clean it before going into anal play. Sit on the bidet, clean as you normally would do on the outside. Then, spread soap on a finger (I prefer a soft liquid soap here) and press gently on the anus. Due to the soap your finger will suddenly be sucked inside. Just go inside as much as you can cleaning it all and finally do it again now with water running all around to get the soap out. That's all there is to it. Really.
well, this thread made my life more interesting :) After reading so many positive responses, my BF finally wanted to try it out with me, and we did. He seemed pretty damn amazed when he came...He was freaking out, pretty much. Trying to explain the pleasure....I was so proud. Maybe we need all men to read this thread and consider giving anal play a chance, if they haven't already.
How far in is the male G-spot :confused: I can usually only fit my finger in to the 1st knuckle -- very rarely to the 2nd.... Maybe I'm just too timid, I don't know -- he pushes out for me to go in & tells me to push harder, but nothing happens :(
[QUOTE=Maribelle]How far in is the male G-spot :confused: I can usually only fit my finger in to the 1st knuckle -- very rarely to the 2nd.... Maybe I'm just too timid, I don't know -- he pushes out for me to go in & tells me to push harder, but nothing happens :([/QUOTE]
I dont think its that far in.
You need to curve your finger towards his front... not up inside.
the prostate is located around where the perineum is I believe.
I hope it's not in any further! :rolleyes: I've been doing the "come hither" motion Lazer mentioned somewhere here ... but, well, I don't know -- I feel he wants me deeper & I'm not sure what to do :o Also, he licks my anus & I like it, but I'm terrified to lick him there ... it's close enough I feel like I shouldn't really have a problem with it :(
Edited to add that I'm going to PP to try some flavored dental dams :)
I use my first finger only (it;s like 3 inches long, if that matters) and do the "come hither"...gets him every time. I know when I've got it, by feel and the fact that he's almost screaming ;)
[url=http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1573440795/ref=pd_bxgy_img_b/102-047523..."The Survivor's Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse" (by Staci Haines) says that the prostate gland is about 3 inches inside the rectum.... So, to answer my own question, a'yup, he wants my finger in deeper for a reason :rolleyes: :o :) So, OK, then - I'm going to get some finger glove thingies & water based lubricant as well as some flavored dental dam to help me out with this :D
Heyhey!!! I did it :D Found his prostate :p
Congrats! Is he :D too? Lol...I know my BF still is.
LOL! He couldn't move for a bit :rolleyes: :) & has talked about it since :D :p BTW, even nicer for me is that we were in the bathtub -- seemed to make it feel "cleaner" & was much easier!!!
Hmm...that seems like a terrific idea. Must have a bath together again soon.
I personally love anal play. I have a very tender Anus and is easily hurt but it is just as easily pleased. It took me awhile to get used to the idea. My now ex tried to get me into it for a long time. He go me all worked up one night and gently whispered in my ear if he could finger my anus and I was so horny and had came so much that I was happy to comply with his wants. Well, as soon as he entered I had a mind blowing orgasm and another... It was amazing. I still wasn't ready for anal sex until he got me worked up again and same think happened after about 30 seconds after he entered I had the most amazing orgasm again. He was going really hard too because I asked him to when I felt the orgasm come on. So basically I love anal play. If you want try a small anal toy such as silver bullet. I love mine, makes me feel great. :( I want my current b/f here now.
Many years ago I never in my wildest dream thought I would like having my prostate massaged. As I began to understand my prostate better, I decided to ask my DW to do this. Well I loved it! I find that it is better with a toy than fingers. A vibrating toy gives me very intense orgasms. My DW always uses an anal toy on me when she gives me a blowjob.
[QUOTE=Lynn28]I've had anal sex with two different men. It hurt like you wouldn't believe - although, oddly enough, the thought of what we did always makes me hot. I believe it could be a turn on if I was approached a bit more gently. As for my current boyfriend - I have this urge to approach his anus with my finger, but I'm afraid that he'd be freaked out by it. So...what I did this morning, is while showering together, I took the body wash and lathered him up, and washed all of his body, including his anus. I think that he did in fact like that![/QUOTE]
i have about the same reaction as you when i think about it even though i only did it once when i was incredibly drunk. and even with my numb, drunken body i could still feel the pain. i'm almost afraid to try it sober. i love kinky stuff, but anal intercourse might be too painful to go back to. although i was talking to my male friend about it and he said that there is a right and wrong way to do it and he said that since it was my partner's first experience with anal sex as well that he probably did it wrong (not to mention that he was wacked up on alcohol as well as other various substances). i'm not sure if i'm opposed to doing it again...
the key to it is lube lube lube!!.
its not something u can jump straight into
in my opinion you need at least 30 mins of heavy petting before even entertaining the idea. because even if you feel you are ready your anus has a mind of its own!!
start with fingers working on depth this will help 'loosen'
for him i usually use my middle finger slowly working up to my 7'' smooth (has to be smooth) vibrator.
I know there are a few peopl out there who freak at the prospect of clenliness. as long as they have had a good poo that day at least 2 hours before your experimentation and a shower everything should be fine. but go into it with an open mind. accidents can and have happened. not necissarily(sp) mess everywhere but sometimes you do encounter residue. this is totally unavoidable unless you use a douche which i find is less hygeinic than not using a douche. as it laves the area damp and prone to infections. also it takes the spontianety out of it.
Not to mention farts (lol) this will happen but to be honest when ur poking things up someones bum then what do u expect.. do what we do... just laugh!. sex is meant to be fun anyway.
Good luck !! :D
Well, I am trying to learn about this entire topic now.
I want to try prostate stimulation, but I am afraid that my fingernail will hurt him.
I would like a 'how-to' on this topic. Also, do I have to cut my nails really short? they aren't long now (just past the tip of my finger) is this a problem?
hey, my sex patner has asked me to lick his anal area, iv have said no beacuse i have never done it before.... but i want to.... as for the finger i am thinking of doing this next time.
BUT.... i have fake nails.... do i have to cut one???? can some one tell me??? please.... also he has said to me his butt is clean, but im still afraid to use my tounge... any suggestions to hint to him to ask if it is really that clean..... and how long does it take for a guy to cum stimulating the prostate with your finger as he lasts pretty long during sex.
Wow I never knew there was this much information out there!!
I was looking for some information about anal play as lately i have been having the urge to use a finger with my boy friend!
He wasn't too thrilled when I brought up the idea but slowly agreed (always ready to try something new) but he says he didnt enjoy it so I haven't pushed it but i thought perhaps I was doing something wrong or if i ever got the chance to do it again i could do something to make it better for him although after reading the fantastic information in this site i have decided that him being uncomfortable was probably due to him being nervous and cleanching.
BUT.... i have fake nails.... do i have to cut one???? can some one tell me??? please.... also he has said to me his butt is clean, but im still afraid to use my tounge... any suggestions to hint to him to ask if it is really that clean..... and how long does it take for a guy to cum stimulating the prostate with your finger as he lasts pretty long during sex.[/QUOTE]
Well, my gf has short nails so I can't talk from experience, but something tells me that very long nails might be a bad idea ^^
As for time, it depends from guy to guy. I personally don't feel that much but another guy will go trough the roof.
I'm new here as of today. I LOVE anal play!
Here is a short tutorial I typed up a while back. It's how *I* learned..
The key to this is to take your time and go slow. You learn how to control your butt and schincter muscles. You learn how to RELAX THEM and you get used to the feeling of it all.
Anal play for beginners
Disclaimer: I am NOT a doctor and I do NOT play one on TV. This is the way *I* learned how to discover anal play. As usual care needs to be practiced. GO VERY SLOWLY.
First start off with a TRIMMED index finger. You may even want to put on a latex glove first to help make it even smoother. Use KY or the drug store brand of KY and lube the finger well. Place it VERY GENTLY near the anus and lightly circle the hole with the finger. DON'T INSERT YET. Just circle it for a few minutes. After a few minutes without insert, just put the finger over the anus and gently press a bit without entering. Just apply a bit of pressure.
Do this over and over a few times and after a few minutes SLOWLY begin to insert JUST THE FINGER *TIP* in about a quarter of an inch then take it out. Do this a few times then go a LITTLE further in. Repeat this until you have you whole finger in. DO NOT FORCE IT, IF HE OR SHE OR YOU SAYS STOP, STOP!
Within a week or so of trying this the person should be fairly used to the finger and inserting and pumping it in and out should become easy. Also try moving the finger around while inserted, back & forth,etc. Orgasms ARE VERY VERY INTENSE when you leave your finger or butt plug or dildo in.
Soon you will want to try something slightly bigger than your finger. Try your middle finger or graduate to a SMALL butt plug. Same rules apply to the new toy as did with the finger. Start off using the finger as usual then after getting loose begin with the plug.
Plugs have flared bottoms to prevent them from going all the way in. If you graduate to dildos later get ones with a flared base or ones that have the balls at the bottom. This prevents them from slipping all the way in. You don't need a trip to the ER to retrieve it, that would SUCK!
After a while you will become very used to anal play and you won't need much time to prep for your session. You'll loosen up very quickly after you learn how to relax your anal muscles. It takes me less than 5 minutes to go from start to riding a 8 inch silicon dildo like a bucking bronco!
GITTYUP LITTLE DOGGIE!
The key to learning anal play/sex is to TAKE YOUR TIME.
My wife always uses an anal toy on me while she gives me a blowjob. Really intensifies my orgasm. The Toys we use are: Spectragels Anal Tool, Anal T, Anal E-Z Bend and Anal Beads.
My lover wants me to do massage his anal area and prostate...
Neither of us have ever done it and are very curious.
Should he get an enema before any suggestion on a good toy to use as well
I do not believe an enema is called for. Just go to the bathroom sometime beforehand. Also, bathe the area when expecting to play around there. Bathing just makes good sense anytime the two of you plan on becoming intimate so one takes care of the other.
Before any fingers, before any toys, please read up on what I have had to say on the "how-to" of it. There is a right and a wrong way to introduce objects. There is also a right way for stimulating the various nerves of the anus and sphinters. As for fingernails, well, trim the one doing the probing!
Before playing with commercial toy products, I recommend using a finger for awhile. If you want to introduce a toy, why not start with a carrot stick, candle stick, English cuccumber, etc.? Once you are accustomed to objects other than a finger, then if you still want to experiment with actual dildos, just visit an adult store in your area or on line and choose something of interest that is not hugh in size. There are all sorts of toys from Ben-Wa balls (vagina only) to beads to plugs, to penis shaped devices and vibrators in various forms. Whatever captures your interst should be fine. Whatever you purchase to insert, make certain that you insert a well lubricated finger first in order to precondition the sphincters to accept something going the wrong way. The toy should also be very well lubricated! Always use gentle pressure to insert an object. Never ever use force or shove or jab.
[QUOTE=newbieintexas;154312]My lover wants me to do massage his anal area and prostate...
Neither of us have ever done it and are very curious.
Should he get an enema before any suggestion on a good toy to use as well
In additon to the good Doc's information, I jave a page that has some information about how to do that (along with a short video on the subject) at
I agree that an enema is certainly not necessary, generally speaking. As long as he doesn't feel like he will be needing to go to the bathroom, there shouldn't be anything in there. You might have a towel handy just in case, though.
My bf and I tried anal stimulation for him, and he enjoyed it. I just bought an anal vibe for him.
His first experience I used my finger to explore and he loved it. We talked more about it and now we are graduating to the vibe for him, we use my 7 inch vibe on me for anal play, which was huge step after a past experience.
We are also thinking about trying rimming.
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