granted I was in my mid twenties, not my mid thirties at the time, but I felt like the last virgin in the world. As far as being scared, relax. But if you have waited this long, wait until you know you are in love and perhaps know you are going to spend the rest of your life with the person. My first time was with the man I will be marrying in a little over 2 months and I am so glad I waited.
That being said, I only waited for actual intercourse, I learned about a year ago on the board I was what the french at Versaille would have called a demi-virgin. Enjoy and explore each other intimately, you learn a lot about yourself that way.

I think you have to sample some of the flavors of ice cream out there since you have been skipping all of them all for many years. If you are not attracted sexually to your g/f, perhaps she is the wrong one for you? Have you been sexually attracted to other women?

At 37, you are not a child; therefore, indulging in a new experience may open your mind to new opportunities. Unless you have been a Priest during this time or if there are subconscious issues that may not be transparent to you.

I think part of your answer needs to be based on your personal morals. I have to say having a normal sexual relationship with a woman is healthy and you are not giving yourself the opportunity to explore all life has to offer.

Why have you not engaged in a sexual relationship with a woman? Is it due to a lack of wanting one? Religious beliefs? Does it have to do with issues in your past? I ask only b/c it may help other posters give you some insight.

Have you had any sexual contact with a woman other then intercourse? Are there reasons why to date you have chosen not to? Are you content with your sexual life? Some of the answers might be helpful for us to draw some rationale here and to give you an educated opinion.

You said you will not be able to get your virginity back, have you been saving it for your future wife? Or are you just overcome with fear? Would you want it back for yourself or b/c you wish to give it to someone special? I believe you have to provide more insight for anyone to share their thoughts with you. It's easy to say save yourself for someone special but if this is not your philosophy there is not point in these comments. If someone said, just "do it" it could arousing underlying issues as well. I think you need to give some info here, why have you not? Is it religious? Lack of interest? Anything in your past? etc.

watch the 40 year old virgin for advice (jk):)

This is what comes of holding ignorance (virginity) as a virtue. It is a wonder he can get it up at all.

Buddy, grow a set and get on with your life!

sex is not beginning nor end all of life
so what if your a virgin at 36?
your ready when your ready
hang in there and find the right one :)

Love':

No it's not the big answer in life but there is a fear of giving it away and not being able to regain it if he does not like it. Pretty odd, meaning did he forget to say he is asexual? I swing towards EEK's opinion. It makes me question if there are factors he had not shared which would contribute to his decision. It's hard since many post here for an opinion and then leave out vital information.

I'd really like to know if there are religious issues. Because that adds a spiritual aspect to things. Regardless of what you believe, your beliefs will effects your spirit. So if he believes strongly that sex outside of marriage is wrong, then the advice to just do it can be spiritually and psychologically harmful. Just like some 16 year olds are ready and some are not. Just because he is 37 doesn't mean he should just get it over with.

Precisely sera. There's that "I have a bright and shiny toy that I do not want to take out of the box and play with because it might get dirty" aspect to his post. Face reality people, most men of his age have families and have been around the block once or twice. This fellow here hasn't gotten off the bench. There has got to be more that he hasn't said.

Well, for what its worth, I was a mature-age virgin too, although I won't say at what age I lost my virginity. I'd had plenty of passionate experiences with women, but none of them had actually led to sex, for some reason that I could never figure out. I had no hang-ups about 'should I stay a virgin' or not, and I certainly never thought about 'getting my virginity back' (why would I want to?). I damn well wanted to lose my virginity, but was frustrated at every turn. Anyway, I finally decided that life was too short to miss out on experiencing sex, and took steps to rectify the situation. Best decision I ever made, but I should have made it earlier.

That blurb about the film, the 40 year old virgin, that says 'the longer you leave it, the harder it gets', is quite true. As you get older, you tend to get used to living a certain way, but you also realise that you are missing out on one of life's essential experiences.

I also think that there are more mature-age virgins out there than most people realise. Its something that people tend to feel embaressed about, and nobody wants to admit to.

My advice to you is, JUST DO IT.

Oh, cyclefreak - please emigrate or at least visit!

Hey, topdog, what you are feeling is fear of the unknown. You will probably be very nervous for your first time, most people are, but unless you take the plunge (so to speak), you will always feel that way. And as you get older, that fear would probably turn to regret.

I say, do it and gain the experience. Once you've done that, you will wonder what the fuss was all about, and will be able to move on. Stop holding yourself back. Life is all about experiences. At 36 its not too late, but leave it too long and it will be.

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;177263]Oh, cyclefreak - please emigrate or at least visit![/QUOTE]

Would love to, EEK (visit, that is).

Excellent!

*busily setting about making arrangements*