My girlfriend and I just tried to have sex for both our first times a few days ago. There were multiple attempts and on the final one, when penetration was actually happening, she asked to stop because it hurt her too much. I obliged as any good partner should, but we decided we would try again in a few weeks. I've read a few of the threads on this site, so I know that loosening her up and tampons will make the physical pain easier for her. But what about the mental pain? As with anything where pain is a given and known that it WILL happen (I.e., getting a shot, teeth pulled, running that extra mile after practice, etc.) measures can be taken to calm the mind and make the situation easier. But I didn't read anywhere on the threads exactly what to do to relax her. I know it depends on the person, but are there any pointers we can be given? Other methods of loosening of the vagina would also be appreciated.