The answer is in at least one of the Sticky posts: This is all up to her. Each of us, male and female, is responsible for our own orgasms, we do not give them away. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve them. That said, each woman must learn to achieve orgasms via masturbation and once she has "connected the dots" she can then guide her partner in what to do, be it by fingers or position.

Most positions do not lend themselves to providing sufficient bodily contact necessary to generate the required friction. This is why the Woman Superior is so great. What a loving caring compassionate knowledgeable skilled lover should do is to reach around and finger the clitoris and surrounding area. She should provide feedback either verbal or non-verbal on how she is responding to his caresses and for what she needs now/next.

If she is having trouble climaxing, then my recommendation is for her to practice masturbating more and learning exactly what stimulation is required, when, and with what pressure and rhythm. Once she can climax by her own hand, she will then know what you should do and can then guide you. As for positions, the two of you should try several, explore and learn together.

The clitoris is only ONE of the means by which women can have orgasms. In addition to the clitoris, there are: the G-Spot, the anterior fornix, and the posterior fornix.

While the G-Spot can be caressed and stimulated by both hand and penis, only the penis can reach the anterior and posterior fornices.

Please follow the steps outlined in the sticky post entitled The Program to make sure she is both relaxed and aroused enough for stimulation to be most effective.

Because even women can get into habits and think there's only one way by which she can orgasm.

OK, use your finger. Good etiquette is for the man to help his lover have one or more orgasms before intercourse, and, one after, if it is her desire. In between, experiment with different positions.

Go the this site's Home Page and click on the illustrated animated positions and see what suits your fancies.

Hmmmm. Interesting.

Not feeling "comfortable" is woman-speak usually meaning she has some anxiety about the item/issue in question. It may not be the posterior fornix that is the issue; it could just be the from behind position or something else - you will have to ask her to explain precisely what about what is she not comfortable with and why?

> she has expressed a reluctance (perhaps even slight aversion) to masturbation so I have to work on that front...

EEK, wouldn't it also be correct to suggest that his girlfriend has a hangup about masturbation? It might not be a stretch to believe that other aversions might present themselves as their relationship broadens. I agree that the two of them need to chat about how she feels about her body, his body, making love, and sex itself in order to learn if she has misguided notions about all this.

To the OP;

Often women feel inhibited performing masturbation or at best telling the truth. Many times, if you put her hand there & tell her to do "X" and reassure her it's turning you on, she may be more open to pleasing you and finding a way to help herself. Just a thought.

Try getting her all worked up while on top of you, switch to doggie, you rub her & take her hand under yours, and keep her hand going in a good position, guiding her; meanwhile, telling her how great it is for you and it may take a few attempts of you guiding her hand to the point of orgasm. Next time begin the same way, try to remove your hand, & ask her to keep it going until reaching orgasm since you find it a major turn on...see what happens. If she perceives it as a turn on to you, feels good for her, she may dispel all notions of it being plain "wrong" in her mind. Empower her through actions with your verbal encouragement during the act. Much may have to do with touching herself during sex secondary to "nice girls don't" or she may not feel 100% comfortable yet with you as a comfortable partner which in reassuring v. judgemental.

Masturbation is something many women want to keep to themselves, for themselves. If this is the case with her, fine. Perhaps she'll invite you in later.

But the more important issue is to find out her attitudes and beliefs re: sex. Please note that I recommend INVITING her to talk with you. You cannot demand such confidences.

Please note that The Program includes Body Worship. This is the number one way of overcoming physical shyness in a partner that I have found in 40 years of experience.

Post-Sexual Resolution is the cuddling afterwards and this is where you can issue your 'invitations to speak' to your partner. No 'pushing', no 'being demanding' just invite.

Women have been told to change their bodies in one way or another for centuries. Bigger breasts, flatter stomachs, firmer flesh, no wrinkles, no 'excess' hair, lose weight you pig, smaller waists, apply paint to your face because honey you look like hell and please fix your hair - heaven help you if it is gray. Have this marvelous body and then cover it up because if you don't you're a slut, skank, or trying too hard.

So don't expect her to open up to you overnight.

However, EEK some women are not into it as a solo act; meanwhile, some love it. For a partner where there is comfort, shall do. During sex? If it's okay, not perceived as odd and is wanted, shall do. My thoughts only since it's not a thing for me; no clue why. Dirty? No. Brought up that way? No. Discussed at home? No. It just does nothing for me.

More likely the posterior fornix. Stimulating the anterior fornix with the penis has to be done very carefully and therefore doing it in the female superior position is not recommended. Men are advised to stay under the cervix, in the male superior position, when fully inside, to avoid serious injury.

I'd also review the female anatomy *inside* so you know what is where. Some girls can get very wet very fast if you're angled towards her AF, however going to hard can quickly turn into pain, and if you're larger, one mishap and you slam into her cervix which has been described to me as "being ripped in half most intense pain I've felt in my life". Hell, it wasn't even me who slammed there; she just got so into it she slammed her own hips down on me unexpectedly. Moral of the story; if you're going to be there, be really really really really really careful.

I had some post awhile ago regarding good ways to reach the spot she apparently likes.....I'll try to find it

Got it....

http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing-her/24443-posterior-fornix-how-...

It takes a lot of patience and a lot of practice for both of you to get to a point where you can consistently do this well, but that's the fun!

Please note that the anterior fornix is in an area of limited space and if the wall of the vagina is thinner there, a hard-thrusting man could go right through - this is not good and requires immediate surgical attention. Be extremely careful when using the penis in this area. If you are unsure, use your hands instead.

This is not a problem when going for the posterior fornix or the G-Spot.

A vagina is not aligned in the same direction as her spine.

I have been masturbating for years but for some reason I just can't do it infront of my boyfriend!! He really wants me to but i just cant. I feel weird... Even if he's in the bathroom and i try it just doesnt feel the same. I cant let go or something... I dont know what I should do.

[quote=Ashley101;227284]I have been masturbating for years but for some reason I just can't do it infront of my boyfriend!! He really wants me to but i just cant. I feel weird... Even if he's in the bathroom and i try it just doesnt feel the same. I cant let go or something... I dont know what I should do.[/quote] Realize it's all in your brain & letting go is something many people have difficulty doing. Look for the reasons...is it the way you grew up, is it not being comfortable with him fully? Fear of rejection?

Look, some women like to keep masturbating "just for them" something personal and private - and THAT'S FINE. Men would do better to stop pushing for new indulgences and instead work at getting very, very good with what they're doing now. Because most of them aren't as good as they like to think - I can tell you.