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Making Anal Sex Less Painful

Hi everyone. Me and my new boyfriend are wanting to try anal sex. I have had anal sex before and the only way to go about doing it for me is for the guy to enter his penis into my anus and stay still for several minutes to allow the pain to go down and then when the pain has gone down he can continue slowly until I am ready for him to thrust more quickly. I have read that some anal lubes contain benzocaine and that these help make it less painful but we don't have any of that stuff available and I am wanting to try and give him a chance at having anal intercourse with me tonight. I know that you are supposed to use plenty of lube and I do have some lube although it is rather thin. Should I get some thicker lube such as KY Jelly? Also, what tips do you have to make anal sex less painful? :confused:

Well, we tried the thicker lube because I figured it would provide a little more protection for the sensitive anal tissues down there. Unfortunately, he was a little too big for me and it didn't quite work out the way we wanted it to.

I have only had anal a few times and it was slow at first and there was never any vigorous thrusting. I never wanted to try the numbing stuff because I figured the pain was there for a reason, kwim, to protect us. Just use tons of lube. When you think it is enough put on some more. Once he was in all the way it was ok, oddly enjoyable. Just don't let him come all the way out.

[quote=38866;221890]I have only had anal a few times and it was slow at first and there was never any vigorous thrusting. I never wanted to try the numbing stuff because I figured the pain was there for a reason, kwim, to protect us. Just use tons of lube. When you think it is enough put on some more. Once he was in all the way it was ok, oddly enjoyable. Just don't let him come all the way out.[/quote]

Ok, would you recommend the thicker or the thinner lube? :confused:

It's not so much about the lube as the technique.

There is a Sticky article about this. Please read about this and many more topics that are listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen.

"Playing Ball" and How To Tips for Prostate Massage
This is also an excellent tutorial for people interested in and concerned about the how-to of Anal stimulation as well as play.

I have only used one kind of lube so I don't have much to compare. Probably more thick than thin since you want it to go where it is suppose to ???

If you decide to try again have him help you relax down there by slowing inserting a finger and leaving that in for awhile. Also if you use the straddling position that puts you in control, allowing you to take it in slow increments that shouldn't be painful.

Anal sex should not be painful. The pain is an indicator that your muscles are not sufficiently relaxed. It can take time and patience to master it, or if your boyfriend is extremely thick it might not be feasible to do with him.

Try experimenting - ON HIM!
I can guarantee on that being less painful for you.

(as you give, so shall you receive)

[quote=EvilEvilKitten;222517]Try experimenting - ON HIM!
I can guarantee on that being less painful for you.

(as you give, so shall you receive)[/quote]

LOL! I would like to try give him a prostate orgasm. ;) I think he'd come back begging for more after that. :D

If anal is hurting, you need to use more lube, and relax is the key

i went to try anal.
used baby oil.
BIG MISTAKE it hurt really really bad!
so waiting to get some propper lube
which one would you'se recomend?

If you look around the site you'll find lots of different opinions on it, but for starting out a thicker lube like KY would be a good idea.

Baby oil is indeed a bad idea.

[quote=i LOVE sex;224594]i went to try anal.
used baby oil.
BIG MISTAKE it hurt really really bad!
so waiting to get some propper lube
which one would you'se recomend?[/quote]

I would use KY Jelly as it is nice and thick. You don't really want something that is thin for that area. My partner and I use KY Jelly for anal and it doesn't hurt nearly as much as it would without any lube. I don't know much about other lubes and anal sex as I have no experience with anal sex and other lubes.

[quote=DVDBear;224599]If you look around the site you'll find lots of different opinions on it, but for starting out a thicker lube like KY would be a good idea.

Baby oil is indeed a bad idea.[/quote]

I agree. Baby oil is a bad idea. I'm not sure but wouldn't using baby oil back there pose a risk of infections or something?

[QUOTE=Spicygirl82;224670]
I agree. Baby oil is a bad idea. I'm not sure but wouldn't using baby oil back there pose a risk of infections or something?[/QUOTE]
It's essentially mineral oil with a scent added. I don't think it would cause infection but isn't viscous enough for good lubrication. The scent agent could cause irritation within the anal walls, I guess. Most importantly IT WILL CAUSE CONDOMS TO BREAK, which, even in a monogamous relationship should really be used for anal.

anal

a tip for trying anal with your bf or gf.
guys need to not pressure. my bf was very good, said he wanted to try one day but when i was ready to say so.
one night he went and lit candles all around the bathroom and ran a hot shower, being so relaxed, in a hot shower, helps. the candles , the heat, and of course plently of unlimited lubrication.
having a shower was the way to go for sure, and if you do it standing, he cant go in as deep.
just a tip.

As for my anal experience, I found the best way to go is to use a benzocaine lube, such as "Rear Entry" in addition to a thinner lube for the penis itself, like KY. After liberally applying benzocaine lube, let it absorb for about 10 minutes, after which, liberally apply penis with thinner lube, then lay comfortably on your side while your partner inserts his penis. You need to relax, if not the process will be MUCH more difficult!!! Try breathing in and out slowly, and thinking out something that would be relaxing. After the penis is first incerted, have your partner leave it there for a few moments, this should allow the anus time to strecht and time for you to deal with any pain. Then have them slowly start moving their penis around gently. I wouldn't advise any fast thrusting or other positions until you have tried this one a few times.

Here is a short tutorial I typed up a while back. It's how *I* learned..

The key to this is to take your time and go slow. You learn how to control your butt and schincter muscles. You learn how to RELAX THEM and you get used to the feeling of it all.
Anal play for beginners

Disclaimer: I am NOT a doctor and I do NOT play one on TV. This is the way *I* learned how to discover anal play. As usual care needs to be practiced. GO VERY SLOWLY.

First start off with a TRIMMED index finger. You may even want to put on a latex glove first to help make it even smoother. Use KY or the drug store brand of KY and lube the finger well. Place it VERY GENTLY near the anus and lightly circle the hole with the finger. DON'T INSERT YET. Just circle it for a few minutes. After a few minutes without insert, just put the finger over the anus and gently press a bit without entering. Just apply a bit of pressure.
Do this over and over a few times and after a few minutes SLOWLY begin to insert JUST THE FINGER *TIP* in about a quarter of an inch then take it out. Do this a few times then go a LITTLE further in. Repeat this until you have you whole finger in. DO NOT FORCE IT, IF HE OR SHE OR YOU SAYS STOP, STOP!

Within a week or so of trying this the person should be fairly used to the finger and inserting and pumping it in and out should become easy. Also try moving the finger around while inserted, back & forth,etc. Orgasms ARE VERY VERY INTENSE when you leave your finger or butt plug or dildo in.

Soon you will want to try something slightly bigger than your finger. Try your middle finger or graduate to a SMALL butt plug. Same rules apply to the new toy as did with the finger. Start off using the finger as usual then after getting loose begin with the plug.
Plugs have flared bottoms to prevent them from going all the way in. If you graduate to dildos later get ones with a flared base or ones that have the balls at the bottom. This prevents them from slipping all the way in. You don't need a trip to the ER to retrieve it, that would SUCK!
After a while you will become very used to anal play and you won't need much time to prep for your session. You'll loosen up very quickly after you learn how to relax your anal muscles. It takes me less than 5 minutes to go from start to riding a 8 inch silicon dildo like a bucking bronco!
GITTYUP LITTLE DOGGIE!

The key to learning anal play/sex is to TAKE YOUR TIME.