Healthy teens develop lust as you describe. Some even act upon it. It is not wrong to feel as you do but your other two questions are premature.

First, think this through. Assume that your mother found out. Then assume that your step-father found out. What are the predictable consequences for each of the four of you? Willing to live with the effect on each of the four lives involved?

[color=green]i find it funny that you put B before C[/color]

the only way you'll ever find out is to act on it, but in a very non-obvious way

start with a joke or tease and see where that gets you, then touch her occasionally, (arm, shoulder, hip, back) see where that gets you. After a while, tell you had a dream where you kissed and see what her reaction is. Think it thru before making a commitment to all of this though. When I was 15, one my girl cousins spent the summer at our house and I tried all of this, over several weeks, she flat out told me she wouldn't have sex with me, but we did some pretty nice making out and petting in the course of our summer love.

She'll let you know when you've crossed the line, but if you don't jump in all at once, she might place the line a little further

OMG - there is NO WAY this is going to end well. NONE!

First, you're thinking only of getting your dick wet and nothing else. You don't give a damn what your Mom, Step-Dad and even your step-sister thinks or wants - you're focused only upon getting your dick wet. SELFISH!

and

Second, can you say CREEPY?
like being stalked by the wacko in the family
"never be alone with Uncle Bill"

Need I say more?

This is where it helps to have someone with experience come in. In this case, me.

I have 3 step sisters, all older than I am (the youngest is 6 years older than me) and I have been in your position too. I have liked this particular one for quite sometime and eventually it got to the point of jealousy whenever I found out she had a boyfriend. I never wanted to go over to her house out of fear and jealousy. Eventually my loud mouth mom told her and quite frankly it hurt like hell to know that the feelings were not the same. Compared to the rest of my step siblings, I am closest to her because of interests and what have you.

I would have fantasies about her and all the other things that you are experiencing. I still do but I know the odds look in the other direction.

My advice to you is this. Wait it out and just bring up a casual conversation and some small flirting. If she returns those advances, move further. If she doesn't, just leave it be.

Just keep in mind that if she does return the advances and you two do some sexual things, this is not going to be something that you can take back. Be prepared that this is one decision that can come around and bite you in the ass hard.

And to poison this relationship for THE REST OF BOTH YOUR LIVES for just a transient lust is STUPID.

Just imagine if this got to be common knowledge within your family or out amoung your friends - you'd NEVER live it down.

Just like the man who fell in love with mom and is now stepdad, you could say the stepsister is just a girl living in the same house. From that perspective there's nothing more weird or immoral about lusting her than every other person living in the same house (such as a roomy or renter) or any other girl you'd meet. So I'd say there's nothing wrong with feeling this way.

I do agree that the 2 questions are premature. But doing a little possible fast forwarding you could see that it could complicate things should this lust have results. Not only because of the practical fact it can become messy if things don't work out and you're living in the same house plus both your parents watching every step you take. Also because the point of view as described may very well not be back-uped by the rest of the family; implying that with their marriage she is now family and blood-related or not you should treat her as a sister. She could also be highly uncomfortable over this; it could wrack the bonding you're trying to achieve as "family" if she'd even find out.

So; don't feel bad about feeling this way, but do think quite a few hundred times before doing anything with this feeling of lust. Think clearly with your head and don't run after your dick. Remember that lust appears to be volatile anyways...

> Any advice or suggestions would greatly be appreciated.

> A)It it wrong to feel this way?
> B)If she is receptive to a sexual relationship what would be the best postion?
> C)If we do develope a sexual relationship but are not ready for penetrative
sex would something like mutual masturbation be a good option?

Then there is "D")
Has anybody mentioned "pregnancy"?
Has anybody thought about birth control methodS?
Has anybody played the "what if" game regarding the possibility
of becoming unwed parents?
This then begs the question: how do we tell our parents and then what?

A: Answered
B: Woman Superior/Cowgirl for the first couple of times, especially if she is also a virgin
C: Otherwise known as "Foreplay": hand job/oral and both together

Option (C) is the safest, offers you the most intense orgasms, yet can be chancy because it is possible in the heat of the moment to throw caution to the wind and have unprotected intercourse!

OH! and what about the stress of sleeping in different rooms under the same roof? If you think life with lust is stressful, now, just wait until you have acted on it and have to contend with other people in the house.

Final answer: Date. Date several people non exclusively. The purpose of dating is to discover what humanity has to offer us in a potential mate. Dating should not begin and end with the first (convenient) warm body who expresses an interest in us. When dating other people, learn about their likes, dislikes, goals, quirks, interests, etc., and take your time finding someone compatible and who will make you more than the person you are now.

The familial relationship trumps the not being blood related.

Look, buddy, some things you simply do not do unless you're 'inbred' got it?

(I wonder if he'd be this hot for her if he actually got out of the house and had a few girlfriends of his own.
And then there's Step-Dad coming to the rescue with a rape charge? Hey, stranger things have happened.
Sally Jessie Rapheal rev up those cameras!!!)

Joel, what is your relationship with your step-father? I can pretty much guarantee that whatever your answer, messing with his daughter will bring more than a bit of trouble your way. There are just some parts of manners and etiquette that are not crossed. This is one of them.

Even if nothing happens as a result of the two of you fooling around or more, you just do not want to fool with your parents' emotions and principles this way. Begin dating other girls, many of them, do not settle for just one so you can brag that you have a girlfriend. You task during the next few years is to have fun with lots of people with lots of different personalities, looks, interests, etc., in order to learn how to eventually hone in on and recognize when Ms. Right does come along.

Be friends if it suits the two of you and keep things at this platonic level.

Simply put there are curtain women that you shouldn't have sex with, your step sister is one of them. Go get some somewhere else other than your own house.

Consider how awkward things will be between you two if she doesn't feel the same. When I was younger I was very close to my older brother and older cousin then they asked to be with them and the feeling wad not mutual I did not want to be with them and now I avoid them at all cost and now I always wonder if other guys in my family are trying to hit on me and tr6 to avoid them. It's just a bad situation to put someone in.

[QUOTE=dancingdoc2;266738]Joel, what is your relationship with your step-father? I can pretty much guarantee that whatever your answer, messing with his daughter will bring more than a bit of trouble your way. There are just some parts of manners and etiquette that are not crossed. This is one of them.

Even if nothing happens as a result of the two of you fooling around or more, you just do not want to fool with your parents' emotions and principles this way. Begin dating other girls, many of them, do not settle for just one so you can brag that you have a girlfriend. You task during the next few years is to have fun with lots of people with lots of different personalities, looks, interests, etc., in order to learn how to eventually hone in on and recognize when Ms. Right does come along.

Be friends if it suits the two of you and keep things at this platonic level.[/QUOTE]

I agree with this, and I think if you pursue it then chances are it isn't going to work out well for you in the long run.... for the reasons that doc said, and also that... this is someone you will probably know for the rest of your life, you're going to see her date other men and then eventually maybe even see her get married and start having kids, and you'll probably still see her at holidays and family gatherings... I don't know, to me it just seems like it would be horribly awkward, and if you act on it now and regret it later, then you'll constantly be reminded of it.
And also if she doesn't feel the same, then that'll probably make it even more embarrassing/unbearable... to me it just doesn't seem like a good route to go.

Manners and etiquette? Crossing lines? How about a new man barging into the house that gets the medal for being "stepdad" without ever doing something to earn it (except woo mom)! The familial relationship trumps the not being blood related? True. But we only know he is "familial" to mom; is he to the kids?

Admittedly, some parents handle it better than others regarding the kids. But in my opinion the parents have the least right to be complaining. They are the ones that have chosen their happiness (which either way in itself is selfish) and now the kids have to put up with whatever that means for this new "family". I don't know what your story is, Joel. But I hope both of them are being supportive in the transition and understanding of any confusion of you and your stepsister and preferably; made you part of their adventure long before it started to smash lives together.

I stand by my previous post; don't get yourself into trouble! This post is simply to point out that I think stepdad is getting way too much credits/care in this thread. I do agree with being extra considerate of your stepsisters' well-being (which means only expressing these feelings may upset her for life, as EpicSexy points out). She just got stuck in the same (wedding)boat as you did.

RR, you simply cannot make suppositions like that. MOST men feel protective about their daughters and the incest taboo is nothing to sneer at esp since all human cultures have it. Put those two together and you have the makings for a huge problem and no house is the better for being turned into a WAR ZONE. Whether step-dad likes this kid or not isn't even relevant - he more than most likely will NOT tolerate this kid getting into his daughter's vagina.

Do you seriously imagine the hubby & wife settling down quite contentedly knowing that sis and bro are getting it on in the next bedroom - ooooh baby yeah touch me right there! - just two happy couples?

I don't think so.

i would definately agree with EEK. if i was the blood brother of this girl i wouldn't allow that to happen.

As written; I do stand by my first post. In which I have said that the OP shouldn't feel bad about this feeling (esp given the awkwardness of the situation) yet should think quite a few hundred times before doing anything with this feeling of lust (thinking with his head and not with his dick).

My last response was to several posts regarding the parents (or more: stepdad) as if he is being the potential victim in this situation; victim of the lustful feelings of his stepson for his daughter. And has a right to go maniacal about it. That's at least the feeling I get from it; do correct me if I'm wrong!

I think that any such behavior of dads is just out of control and possessiveness over their daughters and is therefor wrong. And if he's that kind of dad, any boy will face it; stepson or not. Trouble is that a stepson could get kicked out of the house for it! Even mom may back up, since true: definitions of incest may differ by culture, by law, by family. By law in Holland it is forbidden to have sexual relations with a close blood related (definition of incest). This does not apply stepsisters/brothers; they just need to be above 16 (the legal age to have sex). Stepchildren may also marry eachother. And from the discussions on Dutch sites; not many seem to oppose to it; as long as it's consented and the teens are madly in love before they give into lust. Perhaps this cultural climate makes me more open-minded ;) However: what's important in this situation is not much the culture, the law is more so (watch out for legal trouble!) and perhaps most important is the definition that lives within the family. Family is the most tricky business of all. The closer people get, the harder it hits you!

So true; you do have to live with crazy sometimes, even if you think it's wrong and they got recently added to the family ;). But: you don't "behave" to spare the fragile little feelings or ego of stepdad! You do to keep yourself from suffering the consequences of such madness (or as EEK strikingly refers to it as a war zone). It's simple self-protection; since such things are impossible to handle, esp when you're not able to stand on your own two feet yet. And moreover: you don't give into this lust because of all the other reasons as mentioned; her well-being, being watched every step by parents, messy side&after-effects that could last a lifetime and being confronted with her every day, etc.

I'm not saying he'd kill the boy but this lusting after what he really cannot have is not going to end happily if he acts on it. Misplaced lust and not respecting boundaries will not help this guy as an adult so it is best that he learn it now.

Frankly, even his brushing up against her and giving her little touches here and there is CREEPY STALKER BEHAVIOR. The girl isn't even 'safe' in her own home. Look at it from her point of view. Some guy she knows to leave alone chasing after her with his tongue/penis hanging out.

No, the incest taboo does not have to be between blood relatives - even kids raised together will NOT mate because of the anti-incest imperative hard-wired into their brains. Just ask those raised in a kibbutz.

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;266914]
Frankly, even his brushing up against her and giving her little touches here and there is CREEPY STALKER BEHAVIOR. The girl isn't even 'safe' in her own home. Look at it from her point of view. Some guy she knows to leave alone chasing after her with his tongue/penis hanging out.[/QUOTE]

I totally agree with that EEK. Even if she suspects nothing now, women definitely tend to be perceptive to things like that and I am willing to bet she WILL pick it up soon enough, if she hasn't already-and there is no guarantee she will react well to it. If she does, all the more power to you! But you are still risking creeping her out. She does need to feel safe in her own home. It's a long story, but I 'live' with someone who I definitely don't feel safe around, and let me tell you, it's an impossibly stressful way to live.

I totally agree with EEK that this brushing up against is really creepy! And feeling safe in your own home is a true must have! You're probably also catching her at a vulnerable state in which she is most rebuilding this feeling of safety and trust after the change in house(hold). Which makes this double wrong!

Off course she doesn't "mind" this touching. Touch isn't sexual in itself. And some people just touch and receive touch more easily than others. But sooner or later, she'll have that feeling creeping up on her that your intention isn't just friendly or brotherly (as xfiendfyre points out). Alarm bells ringing! And never retrieving any comfort around you again (as Epci pointed out).

Though I may be somewhat open-minded on this subject, I hold the sake of your stepsister very high. And you should damn well do to! And I know it's in general hard for teens to fast forward to possible consequences esp when hormones get in your way, but at this point; there are simply too many cons than pro's for your own sake as well!

I have a little proposition; since it's obvious you're too focused on her; you could do 2 things;
1)Diminish the focus. Not focus on her at all is mostly recommended to get over someone; but it is an odd one living in the same home. Makes it hard to impossible to do. What you could do is focus upon other girls to diminish the focus on her to some point.
2)Change the focus on her. Instead of focusing upon lusting her, focus upon loving her in the platonic sense of the word. The bond between familymembers is really strong. Sure they sometimes pick a fight, but in the core: you do anything for eachother, even if that means denying your own cravings. So what you will do is make her life comfortable, while continuing leading your own. That's another key-value of loving; you continue to lead your own life and don't cling to hers like a puppy. And when you really reached the state of "love", you know it, because all this has become effortlessly and without self-gain. You'd jump in front of a train for her to safe her without hesitation! Only after you've achieved this state of loving her, which really takes a while, you feel again whether you still lust for her.

If this was a simple phase and volatile craving, which it most probably is, you will find it's gone. You may find that you did lust, but simply projected it on her (not much lusting for her as a person, but for a girl). There might even be a chance your lust was only there to replace the fear of bonding to her. Only you can tell whatever is true in time. The last possibility is that you do still crave for her and your love appears to be of the romantic kind. If that happens, it's time for reevaluation of the situation (since that may have very well changed composition over time).

And as was ointed out by another - you said in another thread that you have a gf so WHY are you lusting after your step-sister while also trying to 'work it out' with your gf whom you SAY you love?

Cognitive dissonance much?

Not complicated at all. You just have misplaced lusts which would be better directed elsewhere as in OUTSIDE of your immediate family.