You need to openly talk since often it's the fear of not performing or realizing they are at high risk for death. I doubt he does not wish you to touch him; I say it's the underlying fear which has not been properly addressed by the MD. He needs to talk to the MD openly about any sexual limits and risks. Once answers are obtained he can concentrate with you on trying. Men do not wish to discuss fear since it renders them as appearing weak; best way in his mind is to shut you off.

Discuss the limitations since he is most likely facing his own mortality and having issues with this.

Okay - with his medical history you will have to chill out about the cheating thing. Let it go. The man's hurting enough. Two things to do.

1. Communicate effectively. Do those little things that show him you care about him without asking for anything in return. Relax around him. Try to get him to relax around you - and let him talk to you. Do NOT treat him like an invalid.

2. Please see the sticky post entitled The Program and the one entitled Body Worship. Read them and then do them - stopping whenever he says stop. As time moves along and the doc sorts out his meds, there will come a time when he WON'T say stop!

Then you'll be good to go!

> I don't know where he would find the time anyway. does anyone have some advice

How about clearing his "plate", whether you do so directly, or he reduces his workload or involvement in things. This sounds much like the mother/housewife/business woman who has one or more small children at home who complains that her husband want sex more than she is mentally or physically able to become interested in. Sounds like he may just be warn out.

How is your family life in general? Does he pitch in after work and help with the chores, etc., or does he come home and flop down in front of the TV?