For whatever reason, I lose my erection when I put a condom on. My wife is 3 months pregnant and she doesn't want me to ejaculate inside her. I believe this is a mental issue I'm having. Sex with a condom is just not the same for me both physically and mentally. Obviously, the feelings and sensations are so much better without one. I think in my mind I expect to lose an erection with a condom, and when I think about it, sure enough it happens. I know this is a mental issue I'm having as I've been able to have sex with a condom many times before. I know I shouldn't even think about it, but I can't seem to block it out. I feel much more excited and I have no problems "keeping it up" when we have sex without a condom. It is very frustrating as it seems to be happening more often. I just hate using a condom and it is now affecting my mental state and I can't stay hard when she makes me use a condom. How can I overcome this?
On another note:
My wife believes that if I ejaculate inside her, that it can/will cause her to have painful cramps. I'm not aware that ejaculating inside a pregnant woman causes this, but she believes it does. I love her very much and I don't want to do anything that would cause her any pain, but I absolutely despise having sex with a condom. Because of my strong reluctance to use a condom and the decrease in sensation, I 'm having this mental block that I believe is causing me to lose my erection.
Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating.
As for the condom, I recommend applying some lubricant to the Glans of the Penis before rolling it on. This will give you more wiggle room thus augmenting the friction.
As for the cramps. I'll leave this to our medical teem, Brandye and Sera and others with knowledge on the matter. The Cervix seals itself so nothing is going to go up and into the Uterus. If your wife believes this is the cause of the cramping then she needs to be enlightened by her gyn. Couple regularly have intercourse right up until it its time. When the Missionary position is no longer appropriate then do so reclining on your sides facing each other.
Yeah I always thought guys took advantage of this time of not having to worry about pregnancy (since the deed is done) to get to have sex w/out interruptions like condoms/spermicide/BC pills, etc.
First point out to your wife that ejaculating inside her will not cause cramps. What it did cause is pregnancy!
Anyway I have also experienced the diminution of my erection during or following condom application. My remedy: don't dwell on it, have some foreplay fun until you get it all the way up again. Also you can talk to her about it and if you still have to wear a condom ask her to meet you halfway with the condom thing by being the one who puts the condom on you-ask her to help making condom use sexy!
1. Have her put the condom on you. That makes that task part of the play.
2. In a normal pregnancy, there is no medical reason to avoid normal sex - including the cramps she expects. I have never had a patient complain of this.
Thanks for all your advice. I'm going to block it out and just enjoy the moment. It will be fun for my wife to put it on!