I'd really appriciate it if anyone can give me some advice/help:
Here's the deal: Basically, i've had sex 5 times and every time is a bigger disappointment. The first time i had sex, i expected not to enjoy it that much, but as time has gone on, it hasn't got any better. I just don't enjoy sex at all. My current boyfriend wants nothing more but to please me, but everything we try just doesn't seem to work...
I've masturbated regularly for years, so i know i can reach orgasm, i've tried guiding my current boyfriend (and boyfriends in the past) but even when they get it right i still feel nothing.
This is really getting me down, because i want to enjoy sex, not lie there thinking about what i'm gonna tommorow..
Do you have an emotional connection with these boyfriends? I know as a male that if I tried to make love with a person I was not really in love with that it just wasn't that good and performing at all was more work. Thank goodness that aspect of my life is behind me!
Like the title of the recent new book about relationships, "He's Just Not That Into You", perhaps without this critical emotional component you are just not that into each of them. If so, then you haven't found Mr. Right.
If each of these men have followed your lead and have a good technique and have done a good job otherwise then I doubt the problem is physical. If true, I'd be looking at the quality of your relationships as noted, above.
my current boyfriend and i, aren't in love - but do care deeply about eachother - i guess although we have been friends for a long time, we haven't been in a relationship long enough for those feelings to grow..
But with my ex, i won't say he was the love of my life, but i certainly loved him and still do to a certain extent..so i don't know what causing the problem?:confused:
Thanks for the feedback. Perhaps we will soon hear from others on the matter. -Doc
To me, it sounds psychosomatic, You seem to have emotional problems getting in the way of physical pleasure. You should take a look at yourself and see what you really feel. Hope that helps!
See Female Sexual Response in Chick Chat. The take inventory. Sex, especially for women, takes a bit of learning. While most folks simply muddle through you want more and, that alone. indicates you will get there.
You have shown that you are capable of orgasm and that you are capable of intercourse. The rest is mostly practice. While I may not use the word "psychosomatic," women do respond more readily when there is some emotional connection with the partner.
Five times is just getting going and if you have had more than one partner during those five times, you have not allowed yourself muc opportunity to learn. Each pair of people yields a different experience and multiple partners so early in your sex life indicates a certain lack of connection.