While not typical behavior, it is not at unusual for a girl to have issues with how making love should be conducted based upon notions, religious teachings, or parental ideals and morality. Compound any of these with how she feels about her body or the male body. My guess is you are confused by the mixed signals she is sending where on the one hand she enjoys intimate touching and oral stimulation yet is hesitant or unwilling to reciprocate. My answer is each girl/woman has her own justification so you have to talk to her at a time when you are not about to become intimate and just talk about what you each like and do not like and why. I also recommend that the two of you read some sex manuals or do some searching of this sites Home page links as well as clicking on the Index found at the top of the Forums' main screen and reading the articles listed.

--BEGIN HERE--w/a Partial INDEX of Sex Info 101 Sex Ed. Topics

As for creative ideas, well, once again I recommend reading in order to learn about the varieties of things a couple can do. If a person does not know, they don't know, yet can become enlightened if s/he goes searching.

She may become more of an active participant as she matures and learns more about herself and the world around her. You may simply have to wait and continue to have a dialog with her. If she is open minded then the two of you can explore and learn together. If not, well, you are stuck with what you have unless and until she becomes more comfortable with what is normal and acceptable activities.

She's use to getting spoiled, so to speak. It sounds like you are the one doing all the work, and she is getting what she wants/needs so may not understand that you want more. You wanting more or wanting to change things up now and then can be understood, you need to tell her.
If she is not willing to try anal or bondage then you have to decide is she more important than those. Many women do not enjoy those aspects and decline, so she is not unusual. You have to accept what she is willing and hopefully find ways to expand those or at least find ways of doing things a little different each time.
Pushing her will only push her away

Okay - yes you're being selfish but so is she. That being said, YOU'RE being BLIND. Superb sex is NOT gotten by wielding handcuffs, changing positions, lingerie, etc. NO. Superb sex is PAYING ATTENTION to your partner. EACH time you enjoy sex with your partner it is different. Because both you and she and the time, the mood the atmosphere - all of it is different.

Find the sticky post entitled The Program. Read it then do it - paying attention to each and every detail of her response. Forget the "romantic atmosphere", etc. All of that is immaterial. Forget everything you ever learned by watching/reading pornography. Learn to read her by watching her.

Stop pouting that you're doing all of the work thus far. Now it is her turn - to reciprocate. She may never do anal, bondage etc. But she can take the lead and follow The Program herself - on you. You give to get in this case.

The next step is to frankly and openly discuss sex with her in a non-threatening, non-pouting/whining way in a NON-SEXUAL atmosphere. Ask her what she thinks about sex. What she likes, dislikes, fantasizes about. If she trusts you she'll tell you. If she doesn't - then you have a decision to make.

Yeah, I agree that y'all need to talk about it, emphasis on non-sexual atmosphere-this discussion cannot happen if sex is 'on the table' so to speak. That's the only way to get the answers you're looking for.

And as you're learning each other, paying attention to reactions, don't be afraid to 'debrief' later-like the next day or whatever. My bf and I do that all the time-in fact I think every time now that I mention it. It happens almost in an atmosphere of reminiscing over the previous evening-sex is never on the table for us during these discussions either. But it also serves to help us each take mental note of what the other A) really liked or B) wasn't so affected by.

Communication is the ultimate key.

Indeed it is, Int. But that takes courage and maturity.

Wow I never knew how common it is for a couple to never communicate about sex.

My boyfriend and I, after our sessions, always talk about it. What was your favorite part, Did you like it when I did this, I loved when you went like this, This was really hot, I wasn't too crazy about this, I liked this but only in certain spots.. etc.

Yay me!! You should try it, it's pretty sexy talking about it and it makes you feel good to know what she really enjoys, and she should feel the same. Gives me a sense of power, having him melt beneath or even on top of me. I'm sure she'll feel the same later on and if she doesn't, you're worshipping the wrong chick

Sounds like she's self-conscious. Tell her how hot you'd find it if she'd take charge. Be sure you give her good feedback about specifics that you like. If you have to, gently move her hand to the appropriate place and use it to stroke yourself. It may be that she's just unsure what to do for you or how to go about it.

Well the key is communication. Don't use the stereotypical guy thing as an excuse for not talking.

Now I'd say you have to resort to comfronting her about it and how you feel. If she claims she is still shy, then you need to tell her if this is going to work she needs to be more comfortable with you and trust you. It also seems like she needs more confidence, and this you can't do much about, it doesn't seem like she's ready to be having sex.

If all fails, dump her.

[QUOTE=lnt1103;224364]Sounds like she's self-conscious. Tell her how hot you'd find it if she'd take charge. Be sure you give her good feedback about specifics that you like. If you have to, gently move her hand to the appropriate place and use it to stroke yourself. It may be that she's just unsure what to do for you or how to go about it.[/QUOTE]

But she's not even trying!!! It'd be different if she would actually make an effort every once in awhile.. but she's just laying there.. neither resisting, nor participating, but submitting

If she's not participating or reciprocating and shows no interest in becoming so - then it is time to get a new gf.

I understand the OP's situation. My wife used to initiate moves, climb on top, give OK Blow jobs, but the last few years it is pretty much ME doing all the oral, and plain old missionary. My last BJ was July 5 when I suppose she was trying to turn me off forever when she went down on me with ice cubes in her mouth.

Well WOW....It has been a long time since I got so HOT and so HARD so FAST...it was incredible. And I ripped off her clothes and banged her on the couch facing the living room window with the curtains open.*

I guess since it's been since July she figured I enjoyed it so much she'd NEVER do anything like THAT again....So we just continue our merry way of plain jane missionary, me going down on her...she getting off several times a week...or a night....

But HEY, at least I'm getting sex.....better than most couples in their 60's and married 42 years, I suppose.

*The open curtains....entertaining the neighbors...bears, foxes, elk, deer, coyotes, and the occasional Puma.

flyhi69, hand her a couple of ice cubes and close the curtains. You never know.

I'm so ready to try the ice cubes thing with my boyfriend. I hope I get the same reaction =D, I'm excited!!!

Sometimes a woman feels really embarrassed that she has rocked her mans world, even if they are in their 60 and married for 42 years.

LOL @ the idea of a woman being embarassed at having rocked her man's world! Nonsense! She gets a rush of POWER from such knowledge. YES!! Turning a man "inside out" is such exhilarating fun!!!

I do this all of the time!
Perhaps that's why I keep getting invited to house parties?

I would have to agree with EEK on this one....it most definitely is not embarrassing to me to rock his world. In fact, I'm pretty damn proud of myself when I know he's really enjoying it. Gives me a sense of accomplishment. I've even had moments while giving oral that there has been an in-the-moment comment or a reaction of his, and I had to be careful not to allow the smile that spread across my face from interfering with my delivery :D

Don't get the wrong idea, I have no issues with rocking his world. In fact if I didn't know Goof wasn't married this could of been him as flyhi69. Although the only way that the neighbors would of seen me rocking his world would of been if they had walked thru his back yard to knock on his door. The window is right next to that door, and well many nights we could of been cold busted.
And yes sometimes I do blush and think did I just do that? And well maybe this is what his wife is feeling. Let her know this is something you truly love, and want a repeat.
Goof has asked me to do something again, or to wear somthing that I have worn before because it was something he enjoyed and he knew that I loved to please him. There is no harm in asking nicely, you either get a repeat or you accept the no gracefully.

Knowing I can out-gun any 16 men you'd care to name is SUCH an awesome ego boost! LOL

NEXT!

I'm soo baad.

Bad as in bad or bad as in good? LOL you know the vernacular of the kids these days

OMG did I just say that....I'm getting older! I'm 30 in less than a month! How did that happen????

But anyway EEK in your case bad sounds like it's pretty good.

It is my understanding that when one uses 2 a's when spelling "bad" that it means "good".

30?? And you're crying about getting old?
Stop it!

Everyone knows 40 is the big 'cut-off'.

[quote=EvilEvilKitten;224600]It is my understanding that when one uses 2 a's when spelling "bad" that it means "good".

30?? And you're crying about getting old?
Stop it!

Everyone knows 40 is the big 'cut-off'.[/quote]

40??? I think it's been moved to 45 or something.

Well I know, but 'kids these days' isn't something I'm used to hearing come out of my own mouth, that's all LOL

[quote=lnt1103;224624]Well I know, but 'kids these days' isn't something I'm used to hearing come out of my own mouth, that's all LOL[/quote] Wait until you are over EEK's "cut-off"! LOL! Kids? I figure at my age I could have a son older than most here!

I have two kids older than most here.

People, if you wish to age well - take moderately good care of yourselves.

I say this after an afternoon spent with the Cougar Congress at one of their husband's 50th birthday party. People refuse to believe that they cannot party like they once did when they were in their 20's.

Several things happen when you age poorly 1. your past catches up to you - physically and 2. your world begins to shrink - mentally. And it all begins around age 40.

I stayed for about 3 hours and then had to leave. Nice people but I increasingly have very little in common with them since I refuse to do either 1 or 2 above.

Plus, no one was getting naked *wink*

I think keeping yourself in good condition is essential! I only used 45 as the new mark because I could "still be okay" with the age limits! Heck, I am well, 39 as I choose to say...and life is fun! I don't feel my age & the world expands daily!

I'm over the 45 mark, but spend more naked time now than I ever did. Hiking to hot springs naked and enjoying a good soak is great especially naked. finding other things to do naked is so much fun, especially with other people. So there are ways to expand what you do even after 45.